Well there is the added pressure that my mum wants be to get into proper full time work, and I feel If I say no would annoy her also. Even yesterday at tea my mum asked if my uncle had called me and I said no (I had had a call from an 07 number that morning but I ignored it, idk if it was my uncle though as I don't have his number saved), anyway I said how I felt about the pressure of it and making me feel anxious and I really don't think she took it serious she basically said "I wish I never told you now" and brushed my worries aside. I think I have calmed down a lot since the other day, I'm certainly not pacing back and forth and i'm not shaking from it. I'm just a bit on edge for when I actually do get the call, if I get it as it's not 100% certain. My mum said part of the reason my uncle is doing it is because hes seen me at work when hes come in and seen how nice and polite I am etc. I can't help but think of anything and everything that could go wrong, and with how I deal with difficult situations now. I literally hate situations like this, and I don't particularly like interference in my life, no matter how well intended it is meant. you're right it is my decision, but I'm sure my mum expects me to accept it, which that alone makes me feel trapped. I think i would probably accept it but then if I don't like it or I suck at it then I'm stuck. I'm really done with my current job now and hate going in, I literally got told off today for turning up late when I was actually on time and was then told off because I was starting late (obviously my fault and not the duty manager for stopping me in my tracks to be a bitch for not turning up early). Also my actual manager is a total melt on a power trip putting in the most nit-pick ridiculous rules, crushing morale and annoying everyone.
How do you feel?
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Well there is the added pressure that my mum wants be to get into proper full time work, and I feel If I say no would annoy her also. Even yesterday at tea my mum asked if my uncle had called me and I said no (I had had a call from an 07 number that morning but I ignored it, idk if it was my uncle though as I don't have his number saved), anyway I said how I felt about the pressure of it and making me feel anxious and I really don't think she took it serious she basically said "I wish I never told you now" and brushed my worries aside. I think I have calmed down a lot since the other day, I'm certainly not pacing back and forth and i'm not shaking from it. I'm just a bit on edge for when I actually do get the call, if I get it as it's not 100% certain. My mum said part of the reason my uncle is doing it is because hes seen me at work when hes come in and seen how nice and polite I am etc. I can't help but think of anything and everything that could go wrong, and with how I deal with difficult situations now. I literally hate situations like this, and I don't particularly like interference in my life, no matter how well intended it is meant. you're right it is my decision, but I'm sure my mum expects me to accept it, which that alone makes me feel trapped. I think i would probably accept it but then if I don't like it or I suck at it then I'm stuck. I'm really done with my current job now and hate going in, I literally got told off today for turning up late when I was actually on time and was then told off because I was starting late (obviously my fault and not the duty manager for stopping me in my tracks to be a bitch for not turning up early). Also my actual manager is a total melt on a power trip putting in the most nit-pick ridiculous rules, crushing morale and annoying everyone.
DannyDS
Well-known member
Today was the 3rd anniversary of my father's passing. It was an emotional day. But I guess I just have to pull myself through it. After three years I would've thought that I had gotten over it, but apparently not!
Now I'm listening to the UK songs and I'm totally obsessed with Kerrie-Anne's 'Sweet Lies'. It makes it all go away
Now I'm listening to the UK songs and I'm totally obsessed with Kerrie-Anne's 'Sweet Lies'. It makes it all go away
r3gg13
Well-known member
The first week of second semester of Au.D. doctoral program is done! I feel great, and I feel that the semester is off to a good start.
Our cohort of 10 students is definitely a joy. I couldn't believe how we gel together. Despite our different backgrounds, we find a lot of commonalities: our sense of humor is so similar, and our interests are so similar. We're so close to the point that there's no such thing as awkward conversations (i.e. in-depth and detailed conversation about our BM, preferred contraceptives, etc.). It also helps that we pretty much spend every essentially waking moment with each other either in the clinic trying to figure out what to do with our patients, in class, in pubs/restaurant, or hanging out elsewhere. It's been a joy being with them, and being so close to them I can only see our relationship with one another getting deeper.
The program is really enjoyable, but definitely not easy because there's a good amount of stress in the clinic and in the class. There's always that pressure not to mess up patient care, and give a good impression in front of our clinical supervisors/professor. It's not always perfect, but when I mess up, I just smile, correct myself, and go on: no time to feel embarrassed otherwise the diagnostic/treatment session will be very awkward and you lose your patients' professional trust. I just always tell myself that how I do things will only get better with time and practice (I hope at least
). I also do assistantship once a week where I see walk-in patients by myself which [ironically] is less stressful because you control the entire session, and your clinical supervisor is not there unless you call them. As for the classes, they are really fascinating, but very long and dense. I took a 5 year break before going into this program, so I'm so happy to be in an academic environment again 
I just wanted to share how excited I am!
Our cohort of 10 students is definitely a joy. I couldn't believe how we gel together. Despite our different backgrounds, we find a lot of commonalities: our sense of humor is so similar, and our interests are so similar. We're so close to the point that there's no such thing as awkward conversations (i.e. in-depth and detailed conversation about our BM, preferred contraceptives, etc.). It also helps that we pretty much spend every essentially waking moment with each other either in the clinic trying to figure out what to do with our patients, in class, in pubs/restaurant, or hanging out elsewhere. It's been a joy being with them, and being so close to them I can only see our relationship with one another getting deeper.
The program is really enjoyable, but definitely not easy because there's a good amount of stress in the clinic and in the class. There's always that pressure not to mess up patient care, and give a good impression in front of our clinical supervisors/professor. It's not always perfect, but when I mess up, I just smile, correct myself, and go on: no time to feel embarrassed otherwise the diagnostic/treatment session will be very awkward and you lose your patients' professional trust. I just always tell myself that how I do things will only get better with time and practice (I hope at least
). I also do assistantship once a week where I see walk-in patients by myself which [ironically] is less stressful because you control the entire session, and your clinical supervisor is not there unless you call them. As for the classes, they are really fascinating, but very long and dense. I took a 5 year break before going into this program, so I'm so happy to be in an academic environment again I just wanted to share how excited I am!
Very honest thoughts:
I'm glad I realised it was time to get rid of the people that made me feel mad, ugly, and without any value as person because nothing I did was enough to be appreciated. However, now how do I deal with these feelings? Because I got rid of the person, but the harm is already done. I never had a big self-esteem, but now is literally ZERO, and it affects every single aspect of my life, including at work. I doubt of everything, I don't trust my own decisions, I think I can't do anything, and of course I hate seeing myself.
"Thank you" to that person that never realised (or perhaps yes! I always suspected it was done on purpose after all) they were so destructive to me. I won't forget nor forgive this, and I hope life teaches them how to treat people properly, not like they were objects.
I'm glad I realised it was time to get rid of the people that made me feel mad, ugly, and without any value as person because nothing I did was enough to be appreciated. However, now how do I deal with these feelings? Because I got rid of the person, but the harm is already done. I never had a big self-esteem, but now is literally ZERO, and it affects every single aspect of my life, including at work. I doubt of everything, I don't trust my own decisions, I think I can't do anything, and of course I hate seeing myself.
"Thank you" to that person that never realised (or perhaps yes! I always suspected it was done on purpose after all) they were so destructive to me. I won't forget nor forgive this, and I hope life teaches them how to treat people properly, not like they were objects.
DannyDS
Well-known member
I am one step closer to getting my dream job!
Today I have received an invitation to take part in the selection for the position of administrative assistant for the city of Antwerp!
The exams are on 8th February and afterwards there will be an interview (the week of the 11th) and they'll make their decision on the 18th
I NEED THIS.
Today I have received an invitation to take part in the selection for the position of administrative assistant for the city of Antwerp!
The exams are on 8th February and afterwards there will be an interview (the week of the 11th) and they'll make their decision on the 18th
I NEED THIS.
Yesterday I broke down at work and spent all my lunch time just crying. I didn't want to because I had to open the library right after that and feared people would ask for my red eyes, but I couldn't hold it back any longer. It was actually good because I could vent a little bit, and I'm very lucky that I love my job, so I felt much better at the end of the day. I know I will be the same I used to be sooner or later, but I wonder how much time it will take, 'cause I'm tired of this.
DutchSuomiFan
Member
for you then!
r3gg13
Well-known member
I'm trying to keep my new year's resolution, and I think I'm managing well. One of the things I'm trying to improve on is dedicating more time to my friends, and be less of a recluse.
In the past 3 weeks, I have gone out, had friends over, and being less hermetic in general. I think that it is doing me well in terms of my mood. I'm actually an extrovert, I draw energy from being in social interactions so it's not an issue for me to go out. The issue, however, is time. the past few months have just made me reprioritize what I need to spend time on. Now, I'm reprioritizing again to obtain a more balanced life. All work and no play sounds too horrible. So, I'm tweaking my schedule and my habits here and there to get what I need and what I love done.
In the past 3 weeks, I have gone out, had friends over, and being less hermetic in general. I think that it is doing me well in terms of my mood. I'm actually an extrovert, I draw energy from being in social interactions so it's not an issue for me to go out. The issue, however, is time. the past few months have just made me reprioritize what I need to spend time on. Now, I'm reprioritizing again to obtain a more balanced life. All work and no play sounds too horrible. So, I'm tweaking my schedule and my habits here and there to get what I need and what I love done.
Edit: nevermind, what I wrote is not important.
Telling exactly how I feel: I'm pretty well, I feel optimistic about getting a permanent contract in my work (it seems pretty possible), which would change everything... I'm looking forward to buying my own appartment -and decorate it like I want XD-.
Telling exactly how I feel: I'm pretty well, I feel optimistic about getting a permanent contract in my work (it seems pretty possible), which would change everything... I'm looking forward to buying my own appartment -and decorate it like I want XD-.
Eulaliya
Well-known member
Meltdown post - that explains the reason why I'm being so forlorn due to a weakness I'm trying to get over...
They call me the destroyer of things. That is the reason my family was furious of me due to my somewhat clumsy nature - the most recent one concerning my old computer - I was to blame for its untimely demise. And thus began my worst meltdown.
It eventually ended but has left me with a stigma in my personality. And I struggle between denying and accepting what bad things have come on my way. Oh well...
They call me the destroyer of things. That is the reason my family was furious of me due to my somewhat clumsy nature - the most recent one concerning my old computer - I was to blame for its untimely demise. And thus began my worst meltdown.
It eventually ended but has left me with a stigma in my personality. And I struggle between denying and accepting what bad things have come on my way. Oh well...
Tired but super satisfied. Since the new library opened again in the new location, it's 4x bigger than before and it's much more visible to people, but the number of workers is the same, so working under pressure is the usual thing now. According to our statistics, the daily users of the library have tripled, and their requests are more precise -they look for a very specific kind of book, which takes more time to look for them- or take more time -like making them their library card-. However, meeting so many people I hadn't seen before is great, most of them are really nice, and helping them find what they are looking for makes me feel very useful.
The sad thing these days is that one of the people that supported me most when I started here has serious health problems and he's in hospital since several weeks
The sad thing these days is that one of the people that supported me most when I started here has serious health problems and he's in hospital since several weeks
DannyDS
Well-known member
I am one step closer to getting my dream job!
Today I have received an invitation to take part in the selection for the position of administrative assistant for the city of Antwerp!
The exams are on 8th February and afterwards there will be an interview (the week of the 11th) and they'll make their decision on the 18th
I NEED THIS.
I failed lol. I felt like a complete waste of space on this planet for a couple of days. Random ass test. Totally vague and practically no time to deliver a decent result. It really made me feel like I wasn't worth it and that I was intellectually incapable to function properly.
Bah, awful feeling. Never again.
ANYWAY. I have now applied for a job at the federal government, department of Home Affairs. I already passed the first screening (hurray!!!!) and next Wednesday, 20th February, I have 3 exams.
Been studying so hard. Honestly. Wish me luck, I'll keep you guys updated on my progress.
Also, I'm very close to leaving this country because I get one rejection after another and I literally can't anymore. I'm done.
I failed lol. I felt like a complete waste of space on this planet for a couple of days. Random ass test. Totally vague and practically no time to deliver a decent result. It really made me feel like I wasn't worth it and that I was intellectually incapable to function properly.
Bah, awful feeling. Never again.
ANYWAY. I have now applied for a job at the federal government, department of Home Affairs. I already passed the first screening (hurray!!!!) and next Wednesday, 20th February, I have 3 exams.
Been studying so hard. Honestly. Wish me luck, I'll keep you guys updated on my progress.
Also, I'm very close to leaving this country because I get one rejection after another and I literally can't anymore. I'm done.
Good luck with those exams! And whatever happens, don't give up and most of all, don't let it make you feel less talented than others! I spent a lot of time trying to find a job and it was really difficult back then because the unemployment in Spain was crazy, I was about to leave when I found my current job and I absolutely love it.
marc
Well-known member
At the Moment i feel me very sad. I´ve lost my job and i dont know how to pay my
invoice. I´m not the healthiest and so makes my complete situation me very sad
invoice. I´m not the healthiest and so makes my complete situation me very sad
Himan
Well-known member
- Joined
- March 16, 2018
- Posts
- 2,001
That's no good news, I hope you'll find something new.