How do you feel?

[Ausesken]

It doesn't feel good knowing that someone hates you, especially when you partly understand why. Yeah, definitely I agree on what my main faults are, and I'm sorry they brought someone to the point of hating me and thinking that everything I felt or said is bullshit. Well, to say the truth 80% might be bullshit, but doesn't mean the other 20% is not right.

Whatever, I tried to see the positive side of this. I've won someone's hatred (sorry, I'm not gonna hate you back, I prefer remembering you for the good moments), but I've realised I need a change to stop the drama queen in me. So I thought: what's the origin of everything? My desperate lack of self-esteem. Look: why I feel such a valueless person if I don't get affection? - Because I don't have self-esteem. Why I compare myself to others? - Because I don't have self-esteem nor self-confidence. Why I feel jealousy? -Because I don't have self-confidence. Why I need to post in this thread? - Most times because I want attention (others because I just want to vent). Why do I want attention? - Because I don't have self-confidence. I mean... it's obvious. If I was more self-confident and really accepted/love myself, I wouldn't need anyone's attention.

So I am aware I have to work on my self-esteem. I know how, I already started with it and want to see if I get results.

In Spanish there's a saying: no hay mal que por bien no venga = everything bad comes to bring something good.

 

[DenizESC]

I believe in you Olga, you have so many great qualities even if you fail to see them: you are an amazing soul, super kind person, so caring and thoughtful of others. I can truly go on and on as I have talked about you a lot in the past and I can see all these amazing qualities in you. However I think what I say, or someone else says(doesnt matter who it is) won't change the way you see yourself in the end, you have to beat this inner demon in you. I believe in you! One step at a time and you will get there.

We must truly love, appreciate and accept ourselves with all our flaws and imperfections first before we can even expect that of others!

Stay strong!!

 

[Ausesken]

Thank you, Deniz I accept some of my flaws, like being too shy, too lazy XD, etc. But I really don't like to be so sensitive and make dramas out of nothing. Actually I've never been this way, my personality has always been very relaxed and never cared for stupid things (everybody who has known me in person would tell you I ignore most things that other people find offensive), so I want to believe the circumstances have affected me too much. Now it's time I do something to fix it, rather than just moaning because things are not like I wish.

 

[Ausesken]

The last weeks I've been walking around 7km per day and I've dedicated at least some minutes to do basic muscular exercises, especially squats and weight lifting. This means I no longer sleep right until I have to prepare to go to work, but I get up much earlier every day. It's always been hard for me to sacrifice sleeping time to do exercise I thought I would give up after 2 days, but it seems I'm getting more and more motivated to increase the intensity of the exercise. Of course I've also changed my diet and drastically cut down the sugar, fat and salt. Eating rolled oats and kiwi as breakfast is not what I'd like, but I had to do it not to waste all the time I spend doing exercise.

Soon I'll get my ear pierced, as I planned to do since time ago and never found the right moment. I still remember my last piercing on my ear; I couldn't sleep on that side, it got infected, etc. That's why this time I want to think very well when and where exactly I want it.

So, I said I'd make a change in me and finally it's what I'm doing, and I'm not going to back out until I'm satisfied with myself.

Edit: this is where my signature comes from XD “Facta, non verba” = facts, not words.

 

[BernadetteCydonia]

I know I shouldn't get the NF season in my head so easily but this year was a rollercoaster ride that I thought started off nice enough, with sunshine, lollipops and rainbows for once - nothing too disappointing or too against me. But then I was let down too quickly around the time Montenegro or so chose, and then all the mediocre/unexplainable/etc. choices started pouring down so easily... the mood of mine did not get any more cheery at the time my country-in-heart Hungary chose... and out of disappointment I went to reluctantly watch our own NF that's a bigger letdown from last year (but at least no big faves I had in the final so I finally could have a song I stan not just because I'm patriotic, but because I like our song!! sorry Ieva)... it's my second year I watch A Dal performances over ours on an occasion and this is what happens. Okay. Well at least I'm feeling alright now, knowing that we'll have Hatari in Eurovision this year, God bless you Iceland 2019. But at the end the rollercoaster will be down and I'll retain my slightly sourface.

Other than that I try pacing my life back up and so. Second semester of college's year 1, I am trying to make music and cover some songs I like on my guitar (only having uploaded one good enough quality audio, and that is a song made through a software... from 2015 ) and in two days there's singing auditions for some contest!! looking forward to that

 

[Brandt]

I have a major level important presentation tomorrow afternoon which will last around 90 minutes, take it or give. I've been preparing for this in the past week, spending too much time on it. It will have a big role on my future career. Thus I feel verrry nervous. I just checked if things are still in order, and I will check it again before sleep, and I will check probably three more times tomorrow until the presentation hour. I probably won't be able to sleep well due to the nervousness also.

Normally such events don't stress me out but if I can't present the best of me, I will have to wait another year to take my chance. And I don't want to waste a year just for that. Gosh, any suggestions to calm myself down?

 

[DenizESC]

I have a major level important presentation tomorrow afternoon which will last around 90 minutes, take it or give. I've been preparing for this in the past week, spending too much time on it. It will have a big role on my future career. Thus I feel verrry nervous. I just checked if things are still in order, and I will check it again before sleep, and I will check probably three more times tomorrow until the presentation hour. I probably won't be able to sleep well due to the nervousness also.

Normally such events don't stress me out but if I can't present the best of me, I will have to wait another year to take my chance. And I don't want to waste a year just for that. Gosh, any suggestions to calm myself down?

Just don't focus on being not nervous relax and don't push yourself to being calm, usually that makes it worse. After that just try to forget about everything for a minute and do something fun, some marijauna sure helps too! That's my advice as queen of not caring at important moments good luck tomorrow

 

[Ausesken]

I hate March. It's too long, there isn't any holiday, on 19th is the father's day, on 27th is my brother's birthday, on 29th is my mum's birthday (who turns 60 and is expecting something really special), and I have no time nor ideas to prepare parties or good presents! And as men are clueless and don't know what "being thoughtful" means, my mum's disappointment or not depends only on me.

 

[Ausesken]

I will never get over the fact that my hatred and disgust to myself, which I can assure you it was VERY real and put me on my limits, was called 'drama' by someone that allegedly was my friend and a reason to give me the cold shoulder. Nobody had been so mean to me since I was 14. Deep inside I thank this person for opening my eyes regarding my negativity and change my perspective of things; sometimes you need to be hit really hard to 'wake up' and do something with your life, but it still astonishes me how cruel it was. Like I had been a demon to deserve such a treatment :?

But it really worked on me.

 

[Leydan]

A while ago I spoke about a job prospect and major anxiety it was giving me, Well i've got some updates from it. I went through part of the application process for that Service operator job at Honda, but I found out it was only an apprentice level, so I dropped out of it. As that would mean my pay is like £3 an hour, which is an absolute big no. I felt it was the right decision for me anyway. Instead I applied for an internal promotion at work, it's something I've held back on but finally decided I was ready for it. It was a promotion in the place I work so I felt like I had it in the bag, I wasn't complacent in my application and even in my interview the person doing it said he it was nice to see internal staff put effort into an application, and that it was very impressive and well articulated. The interview went super well and ended well. I was feeling super positive about it and was sure i'd get it, I felt like I had an advantage as the only internal applicant. However... I find out today that I didn't get it, instead my boss decided to give it to a complete outsider. It felt like a major kick in the teeth tbh, why make me go through that entire application process compliment so much and then give it to someone else? My boss said the fact I get anxious was deciding factor and I should go on some internal courses for it, but I call major BS. Really I was very angry, and left the office to start working, but as soon as i got out there, a member of staff asked me If I was ok and I just instantly started crying like a total idiot. I was starting to enjoy work a bit more now, and it's just one of them big knock backs. I'm not sure where I go from here tbh. I was feeling much better in myself after cutting out the negative people in my life, and trying to focus on me for once, stop worrying about what ifs and establish some real goals going forwards but this feels so much like life saying "get the fuck back in your box".

 

[Ausesken]

A while ago I spoke about a job prospect and major anxiety it was giving me, Well i've got some updates from it. I went through part of the application process for that Service operator job at Honda, but I found out it was only an apprentice level, so I dropped out of it. As that would mean my pay is like £3 an hour, which is an absolute big no. I felt it was the right decision for me anyway. Instead I applied for an internal promotion at work, it's something I've held back on but finally decided I was ready for it. It was a promotion in the place I work so I felt like I had it in the bag, I wasn't complacent in my application and even in my interview the person doing it said he it was nice to see internal staff put effort into an application, and that it was very impressive and well articulated. The interview went super well and ended well. I was feeling super positive about it and was sure i'd get it, I felt like I had an advantage as the only internal applicant. However... I find out today that I didn't get it, instead my boss decided to give it to a complete outsider. It felt like a major kick in the teeth tbh, why make me go through that entire application process compliment so much and then give it to someone else? My boss said the fact I get anxious was deciding factor and I should go on some internal courses for it, but I call major BS. Really I was very angry, and left the office to start working, but as soon as i got out there, a member of staff asked me If I was ok and I just instantly started crying like a total idiot. I was starting to enjoy work a bit more now, and it's just one of them big knock backs. I'm not sure where I go from here tbh. I was feeling much better in myself after cutting out the negative people in my life, and trying to focus on me for once, stop worrying about what ifs and establish some real goals going forwards but this feels so much like life saying "get the fuck back in your box".

I know my words are not what you want, but as I understand your situation very well, I’d just say: don’t give up. You didn’t get it this time, but keep trying it and one day it will be for you. My experience in work tells me that when you less expect it, you get what you are looking for. The next time you will be more preapred, you won’t have anxiety because you will have experienced it before (or you will feel less anxiety) and in general time will play in your favour. You are young, don’t lose hope yet.

 

[Leydan]

I know my words are not what you want, but as I understand your situation very well, I’d just say: don’t give up. You didn’t get it this time, but keep trying it and one day it will be for you. My experience in work tells me that when you less expect it, you get what you are looking for. The next time you will be more preapred, you won’t have anxiety because you will have experienced it before (or you will feel less anxiety) and in general time will play in your favour. You are young, don’t lose hope yet.

No, your words are just right and it doesn't matter who says them. What you've said is true, it's just the shock of it. On reflection I actually don't think he wanted me to have it at all, but ofc couldn't stop me applying. If that was the case, I wish he could have just said.

 

[Ausesken]

No, your words are just right and it doesn't matter who says them. What you've said is true, it's just the shock of it. On reflection I actually don't think he wanted me to have it at all, but ofc couldn't stop me applying. If that was the case, I wish he could have just said.

Mmm...think about it in a different way: it’s a very useful experience for the next time you apply. Recently I talked with my boss about how many tests I did to work in a library and they didn’t choose me. We both agreed that these tests helped me know what I need to study harder, what I need to improve, what they usually ask, etc. I guess it might be useful for you too if you look it like this. One more experience to be more prepared next time! You haven’t lost time.

 

[Leydan]

Mmm...think about it in a different way: it’s a very useful experience for the next time you apply. Recently I talked with my boss about how many tests I did to work in a library and they didn’t choose me. We both agreed that these tests helped me know what I need to study harder, what I need to improve, what they usually ask, etc. I guess it might be useful for you too if you look it like this. One more experience to be more prepared next time! You haven’t lost time.

I know next time when they ask for weaknesses in an interview, not to list confidence as one, even if I try to spin it into a positive. My mum said pretty similar to you, take the courses and learn, they can only help and that it's one thing and many more opportunities will come along. It has been a bit of a learning curve in itself.

 

[Ausesken]

I know next time when they ask for weaknesses in an interview, not to list confidence as one, even if I try to spin it into a positive.

I learnt that very soon too XD. It was frustrating because they said they wanted honest people, but then being honest when telling that I am shy was bad I came to the conclusion that they wanted to be lied... Good luck with your next application(s), I have no doubt that you will get it.

 

[DannyDS]

Hello guys, good evening.

After 7 months of rejections and false hopes, I can finally say that I have been hired.

I will be working as an account manager of sickness and disability benefits in downtown Brussels. Start date, 23rd April!

THIS IS SO GOOD OMFG I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!

 

[DenizESC]

Hello guys, good evening.

After 7 months of rejections and false hopes, I can finally say that I have been hired.

I will be working as an account manager of sickness and disability benefits in downtown Brussels. Start date, 23rd April!

THIS IS SO GOOD OMFG I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!

That's great news. Congrats, proficiat!!

 

[Leydan]

Congratulations Danny! Such wonderful news.

 

[Gera11]

Great news, Dany. Congrats and good luck!

 

[Iker]

I will never get over the fact that my hatred and disgust to myself, which I can assure you it was VERY real and put me on my limits, was called 'drama' by someone that allegedly was my friend and a reason to give me the cold shoulder. Nobody had been so mean to me since I was 14. Deep inside I thank this person for opening my eyes regarding my negativity and change my perspective of things; sometimes you need to be hit really hard to 'wake up' and do something with your life, but it still astonishes me how cruel it was. Like I had been a demon to deserve such a treatment :?

But it really worked on me.

I have very similar experiences so I can empathise actually.