How do you feel?

[Ausesken]

Surprised but not surprised, actually. I only expected a message of 'Olga, merry Christmas'. Not only because this is what friends do, but also because I had taken some of my time to send my wishes before. No, I didn't expect to be so invisible and forgotten in the time of the year where you most think of your friends and beloved people.

But this year I promised I will leave everything negative behind as much as possible, so I'm going to forget about this (it's not important after all, only little details I appreciate from people), learn that I have to trust my woman's intuition (because I knew I wouldn't get a decent response), and pay attention to things that really matter, like the lunch we have to prepare today

 

[Brandt]

My goal in 2019 to read at least 30 books and watch 100 movies. Let's see how it works.

 

[mauve]

Had a wonderful night. Our Family drank mulled wine and we talked most of the time. We had nice rock 'n roll Music of the 60's and I danced with my mom to it. Actually I have no goals or anything for the New Year. Because mostly I can't reach the goals I am craving for, but rather other unexpected things. And I intend to enjoy the small Things instead of the big ones. But anway, to everyone here: a good 2019 for you!

 

[blue00eyes]

My goal in 2019 to read at least 30 books and watch 100 movies. Let's see how it works.

Good luck!
I usually forget my goals after a month.. This year I have none and I feel good about it

 

[RainyWoods]

[MENTION=16080]mauve[/MENTION] that sounds like my kind of night with the 60s rock 'n' roll Who did you listen to? Any The Velvet Underground?

Time moves too fast. I can't believe another year is over. I don't usually make new years resolutions, but I think this year it's going to be so important that I focus on what I need to happen. Thinking positively, believing in myself more and working on my overall mental well being. Some steps are going to be really hard to take, but it's vital that I push through with things. I think I need to focus on myself whilst having less f@$ks to give about anyone or anything that might stand in my way. I'm going to take my magnifying glass and smash it up to pieces, cause it's exhausting when it's in your nature to study every little thing that's said or done. Less of "what if?", more "I will". I need to think less, do more. Suffocate this weakness. It needs to be gone.

Another thing I want to do is get back into writing poetry and playing piano. Those were my two passions at one point, but the past three or so years I lost the will to be creative. I need to put all my mental energy into more productive and fulfilling things. Be it music, art, writing, reading etc. Also, less of a resolution, more of a wish. I'd like to start looking for love in 2019. I last tried some years ago and it was a really weird experience (mostly people wanting sexy times but my sexy times you have to earn first). One guy I was talking to and often, who I had a lot in common with (he was a member of a relatively obscure indie band actually) eventually ghosted me when I opened up to him fully about my life situation. That hurt and steered me away from dating. I feared that same situation would happen again. I think I might be almost ready again now though *adjusts bowtie*.




I hope everyone here has a slayriffic 2019!

 

[Brandt]

Good luck!
I usually forget my goals after a month.. This year I have none and I feel good about it

Thanks. I achieved my goals in 2017 and 2018 particularly. When I aim to do something, I usually do.

 

[mauve]

[MENTION=16080]mauve[/MENTION] that sounds like my kind of night with the 60s rock 'n' roll Who did you listen to? Any The Velvet Underground?

Yep … we have a compilation of the 60's, along with -"There she goes again" by Velvet Underground, the Kinks, Led Zeppelin, the Yardbirds (my favorite ), Jefferson Airplane and a few others. First we turned on the radio, but the musical stuff that came there wasn't made for dancing. So what better to grab for the CD of the good old 60's!

 

[RainyWoods]

Yep … we have a compilation of the 60's, along with -"There she goes again" by Velvet Underground, the Kinks, Led Zeppelin, the Yardbirds (my favorite ), Jefferson Airplane and a few others. First we turned on the radio, but the musical stuff that came there wasn't made for dancing. So what better to grab for the CD of the good old 60's!

Awesome! The Velvet Underground are my favourite old band, but I generally love any rock from the 60s. In fact 60s music in general is just great. If I could go back and live through any other decade, I think i'd choose the mid 60s when psychedelic rock became a thing. You've reminded me actually that a while back I bought a couple of 60s rock compilation cds. One features just one hit wonders and the other obscure psychedelic bands. I haven't listened to them yet. I need to give them a whirl!

 

[ShoeFlo]

Time moves too fast. I can't believe another year is over. I don't usually make new years resolutions, but I think this year it's going to be so important that I focus on what I need to happen. Thinking positively, believing in myself more and working on my overall mental well being. Some steps are going to be really hard to take, but it's vital that I push through with things. I think I need to focus on myself whilst having less f@$ks to give about anyone or anything that might stand in my way. I'm going to take my magnifying glass and smash it up to pieces, cause it's exhausting when it's in your nature to study every little thing that's said or done. Less of "what if?", more "I will". I need to think less, do more. Suffocate this weakness. It needs to be gone.

Another thing I want to do is get back into writing poetry and playing piano. Those were my two passions at one point, but the past three or so years I lost the will to be creative. I need to put all my mental energy into more productive and fulfilling things. Be it music, art, writing, reading etc. Also, less of a resolution, more of a wish. I'd like to start looking for love in 2019. I last tried some years ago and it was a really weird experience (mostly people wanting sexy times but my sexy times you have to earn first). One guy I was talking to and often, who I had a lot in common with (he was a member of a relatively obscure indie band actually) eventually ghosted me when I opened up to him fully about my life situation. That hurt and steered me away from dating. I feared that same situation would happen again. I think I might be almost ready again now though *adjusts bowtie*.

Wow, playing more piano and writing more poetry were my resolutions for 2018. I definitely succeeded in case of piano playing. In terms of poetry... mmh, I have a mini collection at least. And I found my personal writing style. I wish you good luck with both of those hobbies. There are hardly better ways to spend your free time.

In 2019, I wanna make progress with my psycho thriller I've planned to write. Just like you, I am looking for love. Very desperately, actually. I think for me personally love is the key for satisfaction. I cant be a happy human being without having a loveful (is this a word?) partnership. It might sound irrational but I would give up a lot for the right girl. Let's hope our wishes come true. Everybody has got the right to be loved.

 

[mauve]

Awesome! The Velvet Underground are my favourite old band, but I generally love any rock from the 60s. In fact 60s music in general is just great. If I could go back and live through any other decade, I think i'd choose the mid 60s when psychedelic rock became a thing. You've reminded me actually that a while back I bought a couple of 60s rock compilation cds. One features just one hit wonders and the other obscure psychedelic bands. I haven't listened to them yet. I need to give them a whirl!

Agree completely! 60's are a time I would've loved to live in. I love all kinds of present music, but now and then I just NEED to return to the 60's. The music gives you a special vibe - and in my case - a kind of hope, a kind of peace within myself. Don't know why exactly, just happens to be that way. Love especially the Yardbirds and have almost everything of them. Additionally, Jeff Beck is just a talented player.
Another band I really adore is King Crimson. Okay, it's more 70's than 60's, but their Album "In the wake of Poseidon" (1970) is really fantastic.

 

[RainyWoods]

Wow, playing more piano and writing more poetry were my resolutions for 2018. I definitely succeeded in case of piano playing. In terms of poetry... mmh, I have a mini collection at least. And I found my personal writing style. I wish you good luck with both of those hobbies. There are hardly better ways to spend your free time.

In 2019, I wanna make progress with my psycho thriller I've planned to write. Just like you, I am looking for love. Very desperately, actually. I think for me personally love is the key for satisfaction. I cant be a happy human being without having a loveful (is this a word?) partnership. It might sound irrational but I would give up a lot for the right girl. Let's hope our wishes come true. Everybody has got the right to be loved.

I stopped with the poetry as everything that was coming out of me was Sylvia Plath-esque, and I could only play sad songs on the piano. I thought my artistic side was all too self-consuming and dangerous, and so I stopped. From writing every day to complete cold turkey. From stopping I've felt an emptiness now for a while. I needed to write but it was also very much a double edged sword. I had to give myself some breathing room.

I hope you find the one this year, Flo. I think you've got a lot to offer to this lucky girl when you find her, or she finds you. That's the difficult thing actually, do we look, or do we just wait? I've been waiting and nothing has happened. It's hard finding people when you have your own deep self esteem issues. Personally I fear judgement and rejection, which is why the dating thing for me has been practically a non starter. It's a shame though how hesitant I've been because I think I'd make the right person very happy. I'm a hopeless romantic at heart and generally easy to be around. I just come with more baggage than most, and there's this weird outer shell someone would have to get past. It would need to be a very understanding person who wants to spend their life with me. I'm craving it so hard though at this point. The feeling of loneliness has been too prevalent in this life of mine. At one point I was fine with it, and believed even that this was likely my path through life, but not anymore. I relate with you in that I also think of love being the key to happiness. I just want someone to hold my hand. I honestly think that would make everything alright. If there's a meaning of life, I believe that it is love. I hope we find love soon. Bless this conversation about love we're having right now tbh.


Best of luck with your psycho thriller, Flo. My German is improving each day so I will look forward to reading your book. Ah wunderbar. 2019, the year of love, amongst many other things too

 

[RainyWoods]

Agree completely! 60's are a time I would've loved to live in. I love all kinds of present music, but now and then I just NEED to return to the 60's. The music gives you a special vibe - and in my case - a kind of hope, a kind of peace within myself. Don't know why exactly, just happens to be that way. Love especially the Yardbirds and have almost everything of them. Additionally, Jeff Beck is just a talented player.
Another band I really adore is King Crimson. Okay, it's more 70's than 60's, but their Album "In the wake of Poseidon" (1970) is really fantastic.

I feel you there. I think I was born at the wrong time. Then again I love seeking out new bands and artists that have a clear passion for music from that time, and incorporate it into the music they make today. I get to enjoy both the old stuff and then new takes on that vintage stuff. King Tuff and The Lemon Twigs are two great examples of artists making amazing stuff today influenced by retro sounds of the 60s/70s.

I like King Crimson a lot. I had a thing a few years back for "Starless". I would listen to it every night just before going to sleep. It was like a ritual for me Probably my favourite ridiculously long song. I know The Yardbirds and their hit "For Your Love" but I have to confess to not having listened to them much (shame on me actually considering they're from my own country).

New new years resolution: Listen to The Yardbirds

 

[ShoeFlo]

I stopped with the poetry as everything that was coming out of me was Sylvia Plath-esque, and I could only play sad songs on the piano. I thought my artistic side was all too self-consuming and dangerous, and so I stopped. From writing every day to complete cold turkey. From stopping I've felt an emptiness now for a while. I needed to write but it was also very much a double edged sword. I had to give myself some breathing room.

I hope you find the one this year, Flo. I think you've got a lot to offer to this lucky girl when you find her, or she finds you. That's the difficult thing actually, do we look, or do we just wait? I've been waiting and nothing has happened. It's hard finding people when you have your own deep self esteem issues. Personally I fear judgement and rejection, which is why the dating thing for me has been practically a non starter. It's a shame though how hesitant I've been because I think I'd make the right person very happy. I'm a hopeless romantic at heart and generally easy to be around. I just come with more baggage than most, and there's this weird outer shell someone would have to get past. It would need to be a very understanding person who wants to spend their life with me. I'm craving it so hard though at this point. The feeling of loneliness has been too prevalent in this life of mine. At one point I was fine with it, and believed even that this was likely my path through life, but not anymore. I relate with you in that I also think of love being the key to happiness. I just want someone to hold my hand. I honestly think that would make everything alright. If there's a meaning of life, I believe that it is love. I hope we find love soon. Bless this conversation about love we're having right now tbh.


Best of luck with your psycho thriller, Flo. My German is improving each day so I will look forward to reading your book. Ah wunderbar. 2019, the year of love, amongst many other things too

We might have talked about this before, but I'd like to know if you also composed own pieces? I think I could never compose by myself. I guess thats a gift you just can't learn but you gotta have this talent in your blood. The songs I use to play are all over the place. Andrew Lloyd Webbers "Memory", Hoppipolla, the ballad parts of Bohemian Rhapsody and a few christmas songs. Lately Ive started to learn Dolly Partons "Jolene". I dont even like this song but Ive good a dear friend called Arleen and we are like to sing this song to her, replacing "Jolene" with "Arleen" to tease her for fun. Now I am about to learn how to play it and make a video record of me playing it as a little birthday gift to her.. and I am gonna change the lyrics in a way that it suits her well.

Well, what I can offer to girls, I guess, is friendliness, loyalty, devotion and generosity. Sometimes I think thats not enough these days. I dont consider myself an entertaining or funny person. Well, sometimes I am. But sometimes I try too hard and then I appear weird or childish.
Do we look or do we just wait? I think in this case our situations are different. According to my experience, despite progressing emancipation, girls still want to play the "passive role" and get "conquered" by men (now i am curios if some here will complain. i dont wanna generalize, but I am talking personal from experience, as I said) and dont dare to make the first step. Or maybe if they find you attractive they would send you "non verbal" signals which however I was never able to take notice of. If you a straight and at the same time introvert man, you still have a hard time in contemporary society.
I guess I can't give you advice here since you are fishing in the "men lake" and for you those alleged gender differences dont play a role. Maybe you can just wait and hope for your luck? For me waiting is not an option.
I am sure you could make the right person happy but I can relate to your fear of getting rejected. But well.. "no risks, no reward". Whenever you get rejected remember that there are plenty of lonely men who are waiting for the love too and you will get many more chances in your life. Moreover, every experience, the bad one as well as the good one, are useful. They are all helpful part of your path that will one day guide you to happiness. Experiences always give you lessons you can learn from to make things better the next time.
You might carry some baggage... but I still believe that true love overcomes all obstacles. I was once in love with a girl who was religious whereas I am something like the antichrist, despising everything religious with passion. However, i remember at some point it didnt bother me anymore and if the love story turned out positive I would have accompanied her to church her every sunday and get baptized, if this would have made her happy. Thats what I meant with "giving up a lot for the right girl" in the last post. Giving up my principles. Learn to accept things that might have bothered you at the beginning. Thats the power of love.

Indeed, bless this conversation.. after all those cheesy phrases I was dropping the Wiseau one is still missing: If a lot of people love each other the world would be a better place to live.

 

[pjelacki]

I'm happy that NYE is finally over. Since 2015 it's always been the worst day/night of the year for me.

If it wasn't for my brother I'd be spending every NYE completely alone and it's making me feel pathetic and terribly lonely.

My social life is fine otherwise I think, but this is giving me serious doubts.

 

[Leydan]

I'm happy that NYE is finally over. Since 2015 it's always been the worst day/night of the year for me.

If it wasn't for my brother I'd be spending every NYE completely alone and it's making me feel pathetic and terribly lonely.

My social life is fine otherwise I think, but this is giving me serious doubts.

I totally feel the same. It's the one event of the year I never have plans (apart from a meal on the 1st with some fmaily), and I suppose in some respect its my fault as I perhaps could make the effort to go out, but then I don't really have anyone to go out with. Oddly enough when people at work or whatever ask if I have anything planned I usually feel like I have to make something up to not look like a total loser. I have some close friends I see time to time, but at NYE they all always have their own thing going on. As I get older it's really making me question my choices as I see people around me growing and progressing and I feel like i'm stagnating or regressing, and at times like NYE it emphasises that. I'm 100% with you, but try to feel lucky and happy you have a brother who thinks about you and cares about you so you don't celebrate NYE alone, because my brother certainly doesn't do either for me.

 

[pjelacki]

I totally feel the same. It's the one event of the year I never have plans (apart from a meal on the 1st with some fmaily), and I suppose in some respect its my fault as I perhaps could make the effort to go out, but then I don't really have anyone to go out with. Oddly enough when people at work or whatever ask if I have anything planned I usually feel like I have to make something up to not look like a total loser. I have some close friends I see time to time, but at NYE they all always have their own thing going on. As I get older it's really making me question my choices as I see people around me growing and progressing and I feel like i'm stagnating or regressing, and at times like NYE it emphasises that. I'm 100% with you, but try to feel lucky and happy you have a brother who thinks about you and cares about you so you don't celebrate NYE alone, because my brother certainly doesn't do either for me.

Yes I guess that's my problem. All my friends chose to celebrate with one of their other circles and/or their significant others and this leaves me in an awkward position. Maybe I could have asked them if I could join them. But I really need people to invite me, otherwise I would feel extremely unconfortable, as if I were an unwelcome annoying intruder. It might feel like a pity invite too, which sucks even more.

I've been spending all day thinking about what I can do in 2019 to resolve this issue when I should really be focussing on work.

 

[Ausesken]

I'm happy that NYE is finally over. Since 2015 it's always been the worst day/night of the year for me.

If it wasn't for my brother I'd be spending every NYE completely alone and it's making me feel pathetic and terribly lonely.

My social life is fine otherwise I think, but this is giving me serious doubts.

Another loser here XD. No, I don’t feel a loser at all because I don’t celebrate NYE with a group. On the one hand, I’d love it. My friends and I live in different cities and would require a good organisation, but it would be great. However, then I think I leave my parents alone and I decide I prefer to be with them, given that they don’t have brothers or sisters to be with, and friends are with their families, etc. Or perhaps they don’t go anywhere because they think I want to stay home . Never thought of that before

However, I’m pretty fine having a calm dinner, then play something and go to bed. I never felt the pressure of having the same social life as the others for Christmas, because I am not like the others. Of course I enjoy a good party with friends from time to time, but if it’s not for NYE it’s not a big issue tbh. Another day will be

 

[Leydan]

Yes I guess that's my problem. All my friends chose to celebrate with one of their other circles and/or their significant others and this leaves me in an awkward position. Maybe I could have asked them if I could join them. But I really need people to invite me, otherwise I would feel extremely unconfortable, as if I were an unwelcome annoying intruder. It might feel like a pity invite too, which sucks even more.

I've been spending all day thinking about what I can do in 2019 to resolve this issue when I should really be focussing on work.

Yes, i'm also like that. People have to ask me to join and i'm not one of those who can just ask to join in and tag along fine. They have to ask me to join them otherwise I feel like an intruder or they're pitying me, like you say. In which case I wouldn't enjoy myself at all and be on edge all night. I wish I could give you some ground breaking advice other than to completely change how you are, but I can't (and ofc you shouldn't). It is what it is, and you'll figure it out what the best way to change it is for you. Don't let it affect your work though, focus on that because that is what matters. NYE is only 1 night of the year after all even if it feels so much more important.

 

[Ausesken]

Edit: Sorry, I mentioned something that worries me but thought I better keep it for me.

It was about two nightmares I've had in the last two nights.

 

[mauve]

I feel you there. I think I was born at the wrong time. Then again I love seeking out new bands and artists that have a clear passion for music from that time, and incorporate it into the music they make today. I get to enjoy both the old stuff and then new takes on that vintage stuff. King Tuff and The Lemon Twigs are two great examples of artists making amazing stuff today influenced by retro sounds of the 60s/70s.

I like King Crimson a lot. I had a thing a few years back for "Starless". I would listen to it every night just before going to sleep. It was like a ritual for me Probably my favourite ridiculously long song. I know The Yardbirds and their hit "For Your Love" but I have to confess to not having listened to them much (shame on me actually considering they're from my own country).

New new years resolution: Listen to The Yardbirds

"Starless" as a lullaby … not bad! Talking of it, the great John Wetton left this world too. I was uttely sad. I even have many solo albums from him. And his band "Asia" was one of my favorite bands ever, especially their first two albums: the self-titled "Asia" and "Alpha". While writing this, btw, I' listening to "Starless". Cheers to great music!