I was just thrust into a crazy situation tonight, one of those things where you don't know how you'll react until you're in that moment, and I feel like it was all down to fate. Tonight was my works christmas party, and at the end there was only a few of us left and we were all talking about fate, psychics and situations that were meant to be. Then on the way home, we were driving out of town to drop someone of first and we found a car overturned in a field (We assumed was a young girl of about 15 years old but she said she was 19) screaming for someone to stop. It was a tight bend so the driver had clearly gone straight off the road, in that the 4 of us in the car just went into certain modes without even thinking to help them. We helped them and waited with them till the Ambulance and Police arrived, but to me the entire situation felt off. Neither were British, she looked and sounded so much younger than she said she was, the guy looked closer to about 30 and had been drinking. She was desperate to get to him but he didn't care about getting to her, he wanted to get out and go home. Then when we got in the car to leave we all said the situation was wrong and something was off, we all felt it. By something wrong I mean like grooming that sort of thing, the older woman in our group said she hugged her in the ambulance and kept asking if she was ok and needed help and said this girl just sunk into her for comfort like a child does, also asking about her mum and she said her mum isn't in this country, so she is here alone with this guy and maybe someone else. She said she also spoke to paramedics about her concerns before leaving and they'd pass it on to the police. Idk if she was really in such a situation but if she was I'd like to think we've done something to help her tonight, and it's all down to fate. None of us were meant to be there at that time. I was meant to leave hours before with someone else but decided to stay, then we stayed even longer than we planned and someone asked to ride back with us. Also were about to drive another way than we did, there was 2 ways and we were about to go one way but girl whos house we were going to insisted we went this other way to the location we found the crashed car. It just seems so mad that all this fell int place like this, the conversations we were having, the fact we all had that same feeling... I really hope that they're ok, and that girl especially I hope wasn't in the situation we were all feeling she was in.
How do you feel?
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RainyWoods
Croak-kay
[MENTION=12078]AshleyWright[/MENTION] that's some experience you've had. I hope you're feeling alright now. It must have been such a shock. Even if there's nothing dodgy going on you've certainly done a lot tonight, just by being there and helping. For the girls sake I hope that nothing is wrong, but If she is in a bad situation then the police will help her out now. Regardless, you did an extremely good deed. It might have been human nature kicking in, but not everyone would have been able to handle it.
I hope they weren't hurt badly either. In your post I don't recall you mentioning if they were, just that the car was turned over, which sounds serious.
I hope they weren't hurt badly either. In your post I don't recall you mentioning if they were, just that the car was turned over, which sounds serious.
I'm totally fine, just got wet through as it was raining and i gave my jacket to the guy. I'd have probably ignored the feeling, but the fact we all had that seem feeling speaks something. Now the police are involved and sorting it, hopefully she will get the help if she needs it. Either way he is probably in trouble as he reaked of alcohol, so surely had been drinking. In the time we were there 4 other cars drove past, 3 of the cars stopped but the other carried on. So if we hadn't have gone that way, I know someone else would have come along eventually to help.
No, we weren't involved, we were driving back home singing Marys Boy Child by Boney M.
and joking about then saw it. The part of the road it happened was on 2 sharp corners, so he must have been speeding along and didn't slow in time to turn around.
RainyWoods
Croak-kay
I'm totally fine, just got wet through as it was raining and i gave my jacket to the guy. I'd have probably ignored the feeling, but the fact we all had that seem feeling speaks something. Now the police are involved and sorting it, hopefully she will get the help if she needs it. Either way he is probably in trouble as he reaked of alcohol, so surely had been drinking. In the time we were there 4 other cars drove past, 3 of the cars stopped but the other carried on. So if we hadn't have gone that way, I know someone else would have come along eventually to help.
No, we weren't involved, we were driving back home singing Marys Boy Child by Boney M.
Yeah, drinking and driving is a humongous no to begin with, so for sure this man was doing something wrong.
I hope you had a nice Christmas party though. There better have been jelly and ice cream. Certainly it's a party you're probably not going to forget for a while.
RainyWoods
Croak-kay
As the saying goes: Don't get bitter, get better. I spent most of my teens bitter and resentful of people. Harbouring anger is never a healthy thing for your own well being. I think I control things well generally, at least externally speaking, but then I have moments that are just like "RrrrraaaaaaAAHAAAH". I bottle up and explode! (Elliott Smith reference
).This is so true and I've already thought about it before. I think it applies pretty much to anyone who is at heart a decent person.
I read up on inferiority complex and the eight signs you have it apparently are...
You need constant validation. I tell myself I don't yet my biggest fear is judgement so it must play a role.
You are overly sensitive to other people's opinions. I'm super sensitive to opinions, both positive and negative.
You put your own needs last. I always think of other people before myself. It's why I never tell friends or family when i'm having a low moment, unless they can squeeze it out of me. They find it easy to know when something's not right.
You cannot take constructive criticism. So spot on. Maybe it's because I criticize myself so much that I don't need other people doing it too.
You crave flattery. I do seek it but then when I receive compliments I often feel embarrassed and unworthy of them.
You procrastinate often. True. It takes me forever to do things, and I delay plans, or plans just flat out fail to materialize.
You withdraw from society. Absolutely. My brain has already told me that I don't fit in.
You find faults with others. All the time. I can read people. I'm the kind of person that can tell you the bad guy of a murder mystery from the first words out of his or her mouth.
It's pretty clear i'm dealing with this inferiority complex thing too. I think i've made some good progress though over the years. It may sound weird but I believe that getting heavily into the lo-fi bedroom pop and garage rock scene did me some good. My fascination with weird people like Ariel Pink for instance helped me to appreciate some of my own strange quirks more.
Anyway, I'll write to you some more later on social network oh oh-uh-oh oh Flo. I don't want to do another giant post here (he says after writing a mini wall of text). But thank you again so much. I read through your message like three or four times to digest all that you wrote. You're a special friend. I'm glad I got y'all in my life.
it was a lovely thank you, there was no Jelly but I did share a 'big Candymania' with someone. 4 scoops of Vanilla ice cream, 4 scoops of chocolate ice cream, 2 Twix, 2 cookies, Maltesers and M&Ms, all covered in chocolate. It was very gluttonous and calorific.
Sadly we got defeated by it.Here is what it looked like:
toinou03
Well-known member
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- October 26, 2011
- Posts
- 5,831
What's your job Ashley ?
I remember that when I used to be always here, you were coming to university and I still was, and now we are such grown-ups, working, and partying with middle-aged ladies... I just feel older now !
What's your job Ashley ?
I remember that when I used to be always here, you were coming to university and I still was, and now we are such grown-ups, working, and partying with middle-aged ladies... I just feel older now !
tbh they're so wild i'm not even joking. Middle aged women seem to be borderline alcoholics and shit talkers. Well I finished uni with no real work experience, so I just have a simple job in a shop atm. It's super convenient for me as it's only around the corner. It's helped me in my confidence and helping me communicate with people in the public with ease, when before I dreaded it. Although I still hate the thought of answering the phone.
Atm though, I am actively looking for other work, the company I work has a lot of channels to progress higher into managerial positions but I feel a bit trapped tbh, I know someone else in my shop is trying to get into a managerial role also and is much higher than me but still struggling. I want to get out of this type of shift work though, and go for something more consistent, i'm bored of working meh hours in the early morning and late nights and over holiday periods. I have been considering going to get a teaching qualification but I really need to look at it properly. How is it going for you?
toinou03
Well-known member
- Joined
- October 26, 2011
- Posts
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Well I finished uni with no real work experience, so I just have a simple job in a shop atm. It's super convenient for me as it's only around the corner. It's helped me in my confidence and helping me communicate with people in the public with ease, when before I dreaded it. Although I still hate the thought of answering the phone.
Hey that's good news ! You have become a working boy, Jesus !
As for me, I'm still a teacher, nothing has changed. I'm in a good school, though one of my classes is driving me insane....
My life is barely still the same, though I lived with boyfriend for two years and he left suddenly one day at the begining of the year. And now, I'm single, relieved, but wow, that seducing life is sometimes quite violent... Boys looking only for looks and so on... Damn... It's not easy to be loved... !
AmandaOrleander
New member
- Joined
- December 21, 2018
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- 1
Hey! I’m Amanda!
I feel good.
I like drawing. By the way, all my works is presented in my pocket notebook Unni:
https://onplanners.com/notebooks/best-pocket-notebooks
I will share it later, because there are a lot of works inside and my notebook was specially styled for this. This is one of my university project.
I feel good.
I like drawing. By the way, all my works is presented in my pocket notebook Unni:
https://onplanners.com/notebooks/best-pocket-notebooks
I will share it later, because there are a lot of works inside and my notebook was specially styled for this. This is one of my university project.
I should be excited for Christmas and because until 7th January I only work 2 more days, but actually I feel apathetic and I don't want to do anything but resting or sleeping: no reading, no games, no cleaning, no walking, no cooking... Even if I feel bored it's like I don't want to do anything not to be bored because I don't have energy. I haven't finished preparing the presents for my family, which I usually do weeks before Christmas. I used to love wrapping everything and make the presents look beautiful, decorate the Christmas tree, etc., and this year I'm all the time putting it off. I don't understand why, because it's not due to a cold, and I don't have sleeping issues.
That said, now I need to continue resting because writing this post has already been (it seems) too tiring
That said, now I need to continue resting because writing this post has already been (it seems) too tiring
DutchSuomiFan
Member
Well, Christmas is over, so it's time to talk about a few things.
Of course it's great to see family that I haven't seen for a year, eat good food and get really nice gifts. There's one thing that I feel very uncomfortable about. Everytime I meet up with my family for Christmas it goes like this : we happily say hi to each other, me and the family talk a bit, they talk with each other and there I am sitting while no one talks to me for 2 hours. I already feared something like this was going to happen for the past few weeks and it happened. Of course they care about me and I care about them, but It seems like I just can't get a click with any of them. My fear of feeling lonely after my parents will die have only got bigger. I can't see myself celebrating Christmas properly with my cousins. This is the family side of my mother, by the way. The family side of my dad is even much smaller. Like I said before, I've only got my uncle and my dad on my dad's side of the family. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy with my life, but I'm worried about these kind of things. It's not like my relatives forgot about me though, I did get money, a soccer mag and a soccer scarf from them this Christmas! It's just that I've only got very little contact with them.
So what's 2019 gonna bring me? Well, not much I guess. I've been working at the same place since 2010/2011 and it doesn't look like that will change anytime soon. I like it there. I've got some great friends there including my best friend. Of course he's not a replacement for my best friend who died last year, but I'm still very happy about the fact that I've got him. I will keep on learning Finnish and I will keep on collecting soccer stuff. Looks like not much is going to change and I guess I'm fine with that
Of course it's great to see family that I haven't seen for a year, eat good food and get really nice gifts. There's one thing that I feel very uncomfortable about. Everytime I meet up with my family for Christmas it goes like this : we happily say hi to each other, me and the family talk a bit, they talk with each other and there I am sitting while no one talks to me for 2 hours. I already feared something like this was going to happen for the past few weeks and it happened. Of course they care about me and I care about them, but It seems like I just can't get a click with any of them. My fear of feeling lonely after my parents will die have only got bigger. I can't see myself celebrating Christmas properly with my cousins. This is the family side of my mother, by the way. The family side of my dad is even much smaller. Like I said before, I've only got my uncle and my dad on my dad's side of the family. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy with my life, but I'm worried about these kind of things. It's not like my relatives forgot about me though, I did get money, a soccer mag and a soccer scarf from them this Christmas! It's just that I've only got very little contact with them.
So what's 2019 gonna bring me? Well, not much I guess. I've been working at the same place since 2010/2011 and it doesn't look like that will change anytime soon. I like it there. I've got some great friends there including my best friend. Of course he's not a replacement for my best friend who died last year, but I'm still very happy about the fact that I've got him. I will keep on learning Finnish and I will keep on collecting soccer stuff. Looks like not much is going to change and I guess I'm fine with that
Well, Christmas is over, so it's time to talk about a few things.
Of course it's great to see family that I haven't seen for a year, eat good food and get really nice gifts. There's one thing that I feel very uncomfortable about. Everytime I meet up with my family for Christmas it goes like this : we happily say hi to each other, me and the family talk a bit, they talk with each other and there I am sitting while no one talks to me for 2 hours. I already feared something like this was going to happen for the past few weeks and it happened. Of course they care about me and I care about them, but It seems like I just can't get a click with any of them. My fear of feeling lonely after my parents will die have only got bigger. I can't see myself celebrating Christmas properly with my cousins. This is the family side of my mother, by the way. The family side of my dad is even much smaller. Like I said before, I've only got my uncle and my dad on my dad's side of the family. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy with my life, but I'm worried about these kind of things. It's not like my relatives forgot about me though, I did get money, a soccer mag and a soccer scarf from them this Christmas! It's just that I've only got very little contact with them.
So what's 2019 gonna bring me? Well, not much I guess. I've been working at the same place since 2010/2011 and it doesn't look like that will change anytime soon. I like it there. I've got some great friends there including my best friend. Of course he's not a replacement for my best friend who died last year, but I'm still very happy about the fact that I've got him. I will keep on learning Finnish and I will keep on collecting soccer stuff. Looks like not much is going to change and I guess I'm fine with that
I can understand you very well. I think around this time of year, people start to think over many things that buzz inside yourself. For me personally, I think a lot About life and death since my mom almost passed away last year. So I am enjoying and treasuring every moment I have with her. I will never know if it might be the last X-Mas with her. Don't understand me wrong. She is doing fine now, but I just realized how soon a life can be over. Things are sometimes a bit overwhelming. I have so many things to do - I have my work and have to care about my mother. Sometimes I feel very, very tired and wish I could be away just for a few days. Then my bad conscience returns and I remember how I nearly lost my mom. But we are just humans after all and nearly perfect.
No matter what I try to look positively into 2019. I am not sure if many things will change. It doesn't have to be great changes, small ones would be fine too. And I will try to treasure every moment as good as I can.
Well, Christmas is over, so it's time to talk about a few things.
Of course it's great to see family that I haven't seen for a year, eat good food and get really nice gifts. There's one thing that I feel very uncomfortable about. Everytime I meet up with my family for Christmas it goes like this : we happily say hi to each other, me and the family talk a bit, they talk with each other and there I am sitting while no one talks to me for 2 hours. I already feared something like this was going to happen for the past few weeks and it happened. Of course they care about me and I care about them, but It seems like I just can't get a click with any of them. My fear of feeling lonely after my parents will die have only got bigger. I can't see myself celebrating Christmas properly with my cousins. This is the family side of my mother, by the way. The family side of my dad is even much smaller. Like I said before, I've only got my uncle and my dad on my dad's side of the family. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy with my life, but I'm worried about these kind of things. It's not like my relatives forgot about me though, I did get money, a soccer mag and a soccer scarf from them this Christmas! It's just that I've only got very little contact with them.
So what's 2019 gonna bring me? Well, not much I guess. I've been working at the same place since 2010/2011 and it doesn't look like that will change anytime soon. I like it there. I've got some great friends there including my best friend. Of course he's not a replacement for my best friend who died last year, but I'm still very happy about the fact that I've got him. I will keep on learning Finnish and I will keep on collecting soccer stuff. Looks like not much is going to change and I guess I'm fine with that
I understand you, but you forget something: friends are the family you choose, so even if you don't see very often your relatives, you won't be lonely if you have your friends there. Your other family.
AdilHassani
Member
Bad because of my bad results and bullying about me in twitter
DutchSuomiFan
Member
That's true. But the problem is that I mostly know my friends from work. There's only one friend from work which I have a lot of contact with outside of work. And there's still a big difference between being lonely and feeling lonely. I know I'm not lonely, but when the family's here and I'm the only one who doesn't get involved in all the conversations then yeah, it feels bad to say the least. I am really good at finding contacts/friends on social media + forums, so it's great to know that I haven't only got friends in real life
DutchSuomiFan
Member
That's true. But the problem is that I mostly know my friends from work. There's only one friend from work which I have a lot of contact with outside of work. And there's still a big difference between being lonely and feeling lonely. I know I'm not lonely, but when the family's here and I'm the only one who doesn't get involved in all the conversations then yeah, it feels bad to say the least. I am really good at finding contacts/friends on social media + forums, so it's great to know that I haven't only got friends in real life
You remind me a lot of me
in my case I don't like group dinners because most times I'm the one that only listens to what others say, because whenever I speak only the people next to me pay attention, but all the others... it's like I don't exist. I'm just not made to socialise in a group, I'm much more comfortable with one or two people, not more. If you are like me, perhaps you have to meet your relatives in very small groups from time to time, you might get much more involved in the conversation. Anyway, you are lucky because you have a family to celebrate Christmas with. My family is completely broken and since years ago I only celebrate it with my parents, brother and niece, no uncles or cousins. So whenever you can, enjoy this family meetings as much as you can! When you don't have them, you miss them a lot, trust me.
DutchSuomiFan
Member
You remind me a lot of me
The fact that I'm autistic won't help me out either. Yes, I can be very talkative, but it just doesn't happen when I'm with my family. They just have completely different interests than me. They will pay attention to me when I talk though. We already meet each other in very small groups, simply because we are a very small family! I haven't got any siblings and I will not get any children. I wouldn't be able to handle getting children because I'm autistic. I'm very sorry to hear about your family being completely broken. I do enjoy them because I get to see them and to eat good food (my mom is a great cook!). I've said it before, but I just haven't got a click with any of them. Plus all of my family live on the other side of the country or they're not here in Rotterdam that often. Actually I never had a click with any of them. Maybe when I was a little kid, but that's it.
AdilHassani
Member
That is horrible!!! What happened, if I may ask?
Bad results in fan contest in twitter I started to crying and say I was robbed etc