No, I will NOT be ranking my top 100 songs here

[BorisBubbles]

And with that, I've also booted Croatia:

~CROATIA~

Average placement: 278
Average Yearly Rank: 29th
Favourite entry: Maja Blagdan - "Sveta Ljubav" (1996)

An utterly disgraceful decade. Up to and including 2009, Croatia was one of the consistently best ESC countries. Never got relegated, always finished either in or very close to the top 10, delivering several masterpieces (Sveta Ljubav, Neka Mi Ne Svane, Marija Magdalena) as well as several overlooked indie faves (basically everything else except for Put, Tony Cetinski and Goran Karan) along the way.

Now they are one of the WORST countries in Eurovision. Like, I think they are mathematically the lowest ranked country on my list? WORSE THAN IRELAND AND RUSSIA, imagine that!! Croatia have constantly underdelivered, refusing to put in any effort, resulting in a qualification rate that is barely better than that of San Marino. What the fuck happened? They seriously need to get their fucking shit together, because at this fucking rate Spain is going to win before they will.

Cumulative Country ranking:

1. Slovakia
2. Croatia

 

[BorisBubbles]

Reached the top 100

110. 2011: Hotel FM - "Change"
109. 2010: Safura - "Drip drop"
108. 2019: Chingiz - "Truth"
107. 2013: Amandine Bourgeois - "L'enfer et moi"
106. 2012: Kaliopi - "Crno i belo"
105. 2014: Mariya Yaremchuk - "Tick tock"
104. 2016: Sanja Vučić - "Goodbye (Shelter)"
103. 2013: Alyona Lanskaya - "Solayoh"
102. 2012: Sofi Marinova - "Love unlimited"
101. 2019: Conan Osíris - "Telemóveis"

~TOP 100~

: (Juliana, Eugent)
: (Aram, Iveta)
: (KMH)
: (Conchita, Zoë)
: (Farid, DiHaj)
(Litesound, IVAN, NAVIBAND)
: (Tom Dice, Loic, Laura Tesoro, Blanche)
: (Dino Merlin)
: (Elitsa & Stoyan, both Poli’s)

(Minus One, Eleni)
(Lake Malawi)
(Rasmussen)
(Malcolm Lincoln, Ott, Birgit, Stigelina, Elina Netchayeva)
(Kuunkuiskaajat, Krista, Softengine, Norma John)
(Jessy, Madame Monsieur, Amir)
(Sopho N., Shin&Mariko, Nina S., Nika)
(Lena 2.0, Michael)
(Giorgos, Koza Mostra)
(Kati, Andras, Joci 1.0, AWS)
(Hera, Greta 2.0, Hatari)
(Molly)
: (Nadav, Hovi, Imri)
(Emma, Francesca, Francesco, Mahmood)
(Aarzemnieki, Aminata, Justs)
(Fusedmarc, Ieva)
(Jana)
(Gianluca, Michela)
(Pasha, Aliona, Sunstroke 2.0, DoReDoS)
(Who See & Nina Z.)
(Joan Franka, Anouk, Common Linnets, Duncan)
(JOWST, KEiiNO)
(Cleo)
(Suzy)
(Paula & Ovi 1.0)
(Polina)
(Crisalide)
(Bojana)

(Maja, Tinkara, Maraaya, Lea, ZalaGasper)
(Ruth, Miki)
(Loreen, Måns)
(Sebalter, ZiBBZ, Luca)
(maNga)
(Zlata, Jamala)
(Lucie)

Whom are YOU rooting for/against?

 

[Ana Raquel]

TOM DICE AND MICHAEL SHEERAN HAVE TO GO

i'm glad bojana is the remaining serbian entry talent won

and the shin & mariko the three fans are united here

 

[njdevils94]

poor

 

[Edweis]

There're so many I'm rooting for
Eugent, Laura & Loic, Greta & Hatari, Softengine & Norma John Fusedmarc, Mahmood, both from , Naviband, ZiBBS, Poli (Na Inat), AWS, Miki, Rasmussen, Dino Merlin

As to whom I can't wait to see go... ELENI

 

[BorisBubbles]

hmm okay, i've dragged a lot of fanfave entries into my top 100... now it's time to mercilessly boot them. :twisted:

100. 2011: Kati Wolf - "What about my dreams?"
99. 2013: Aliona Moon - "O mie"
98. 2017: Francesco Gabbani - "Occidentali's karma"
97. 2015: Nina Sublatti - "Warrior"
96. 2013: Farid Mammadov - "Hold me"
95. 2019: Duncan Laurence - "Arcade"
94. 2017: Lucie Jones - "Never give up on you"
93. 2016: Amir - "J'ai cherché"
92. 2017: Sunstroke Project - "Hey mamma"
91. 2010: Malcolm Lincoln & Manpower 4 - "Siren"

And with Lucie being gone it's time for a recap:

~ United Kingdom ~
Average Placement in the ranking: 231
Average Ranking per year: 24th
Personal favourite entry: Katrina & The Waves - "Love shine a light" (1997)

This track record could have (and would have) been a lot better if the chief broadcaster didn't have such a blasé, defeatist, uncaring outlook towards the contest. I know "Brexit" is the general buzzword thrown around for UK's general failures at doing well, but it really just comes down to a bad attitude. Perhaps the Big 5 should have a brexit of their own. :twisted:


two of the first three countries to be fully eliminated from my ranking made LastDreamer's top 10 whoops. :?

 

[RainyWoods]

I will cheer for queen Juliana Pasha, Valentina, Young Georgian Lolitaz, Jamala.. and that’s basically just cherry picking some of my super faves out of what made your top 100, Boris. A very good healthy chunk of songs I like there. Aarzemnieki I’m pleasantly surprised to see made it. I thought I was the only fan who loved that entry.

TOM DICE AND MICHAEL SHEERAN HAVE TO GO

I like how we always want the same things mercilessly destroyed (preferably by elephant stampede).

 

[Ana Raquel]

I like how we always want the same things mercilessly destroyed (preferably by elephant stampede).

couldn't expect better taste from a cezar stan

 

[BorisBubbles]

I have my reasons for ranking Tom high and I don't think you need a crystal ball to figure out why (hint: look at the flag next to the avatar)

AS FOR MICHAEL, he (teaser) ranks high mostly in spite of being an Ed Sheeran clone. Be patient ^_^ I've already written his boot write-up, he should show up in about a week. (since i'm about ~10 updates ahead in my queue)

 

[LastDreamer]

two of the first three countries to be fully eliminated from my ranking made LastDreamer's top 10 whoops. :?

 

[BorisBubbles]

TOP 90

90. 2014: Suzy - "Quero ser tua"
89. 2017: Jana Burcheska - "Dance alone"
88. 2019: Lake Malawi - "Friend of a friend"
87. 2016: Jamala - "1944"
86. 2012: Joan Franka - "You and me"
85. 2017: Norma John - "Blackbird"
84. 2015: Molly Sterling - "Playing with numbers"
83. 2019: Luca Hänni - "She got me"
82. 2018: Eleni Foureira - "Fuego"
81. 2014: The Common Linnets - "Calm after the storm"

This update has eliminated , , and from my ranking

 

[BorisBubbles]

~ *Portugal* ~

Average placement in the ranking: 170
Average placement per year: 17th
Personal favourite entry: Lucia Móniz - "O meu coração não tem cor" (1996)

Portugal is such an underrated country in Eurovision honestly. They are rarely bad, and often just overlooked because they don't give a fuuuuuck what other people say and think, and instead do their own thing 100% of the time They're the LastDreamer of Europe and it's a gorgeous thing. Pity they won Eurovision with... that. OH WELL.

~* Macedonia *~

Average placement in the ranking: 226
Average placement per year: 23rd
Personal favourite entry: XXL - "100% te ljubam" (2000)

Sean said it best: Great music, absolutely disastrous transitions into the live. I hope Tamara will inspire a renaissance, instead of merely being their Aminata.

PS: still refering to them as 'Macedonia' because I don't believe in bullying. Except for when directed at Australia. Fuck you, Australia Culpepper. :twisted:

~* Czech Republic *~

​

Average placement in the ranking: 257
Average placement per year: 26th
Personal favourite entry: Lake Malawi - "Friend of a friend" (2019)


This year's entry was the first good one :?. However, I am convinced Czech are going to win soon. It's like how you can smell a downpour before it happens. Czech's entries since their return feel experimental, as in "let's explore how to do well in Eurovision" and now that they've nailed the televote and jury vote in the past two years, it won't take long to find an entry which appeals to both.

~* Ireland *~

Average placement in the ranking: 272
Average placement per year: 27th
Personal favourite entry: Linda Martin - "Terminal 3" (1984)

Another bad decade for my least favourite country [that isn't Russia], but thanks to Roko, Ireland mathematically outrank Croatia on the averages, proving once and for all that ... maths is a fuckin' waste of time in rankings and you should 100% rely on intuition ^__^

 

[LastDreamer]

XXL - 100% te ljubam
Indeed, iconic girls. Sadly their performance was worse than in NF.

Ireland always was the one from my all-time ESC favourites and before damned Jedward they didn't send any bad songs.

 

[BorisBubbles]

lmfao

At least we agree on XXL (there IS a gif of me drunking their choreography on the internet somewhere (I'm sure Alaska has it saved in a folder), but let's not elaborate on that before I'm inevitably doxxed and shamed.)

 

[Citelis]

Yes both Jedward crap entries are a disgrace in the Ireland's amazing Eurovision history.

 

[Ana Raquel]

lmao jedward the prequel is one of the few entries of ireland who is actually good (the sequel is pretty bad)

a country who sent created rock & horror kids doesn't deserve praise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and i hate most of its entries anyway



let's praise XXL instead

 

[Ezio]

Why is the last place dark red? What does it mean? Will it be relegated to the Belgian national final 2020?

 

[BorisBubbles]

Why is the last place dark red? What does it mean? Will it be relegated to the Belgian national final 2020?

Haha no. It's for personal convenience. It's a long ranking, that I am breaking up in updates of 4-5 songs. It is really easy to lose track, both for myself and for my readers, of what has been ranked and what is yet to appear. This is what it looks like for me when I don't use the filters:

If I didn't have the final columns I would forget my ranking statistics, which I have to repeat often because of the size of the project. It also prevents errors, like how I earlier thought Estonia was the last country to lose an entrant, although France and Bulgaria were still intact in my ranking at that point. It's important that, if I write down "Bulgaria is the last country to lose an entrant" it's also factually correct and colour-coding the last placer helps me with that. ;-)

Also, I wish I had more info about the Belgium's 2020 selection but there isn't any. It appears to be internal again though. Which I think is good, because I don't wish a Belgian NF on anybody.

 

[Ezio]

I wish I had the stamina to compile such rankings, but then I think my personal ranking would not be statistically meaningful to myself. My taste is too fluid. I once tried to crack the 2013 results, but I lost the files.

My last place would definitely go to Switzerland 2004. It just does not have redeeming qualities.

My first place could be Slovakia 2010. I need Gerbear's sorting tools for all these years to sort it out.

 

[BorisBubbles]

Piero hit himself in the face with his own microphone stand during the performance and i got a cackle out of that, so it's not entirely worthless!!

Out of all the songs that could have been your favourite I never would have guessed HOREHRONIE. The wonders of the internet, yall. You never know when you're talking to one of those people that spamvotes Horehronie in the annual ESCradio poll.

Top 80

80. 2013: Birgit - "Et uus saaks alguse"
79. 2016: IVAN - "Help you fly"
78. 2014: Shin & Mariko - "Three minutes to earth"
77. 2010: Hera Björk - "Je ne sais quoi"
76. 2015: Maraaya - "Here for you"
75. 2013: Valentina Monetta - "Crisalide (Vola)"
74. 2016: Greta Salóme - "Hear them calling"
73. 2019: Miki - "La venda"
72. 2014: András Kállay-Saunders - "Running"
71. 2010: Sofia Nizharadze - "Shine"

__________________

~* San Marino *~

Average placement on the list: 197
Average placement by year: 19th
Personal favourite entry: Valentina Monetta - "Crisalide (Vola)" (2013)

A high average for a country I generally don't care all that much about. I dunno, as someone who LOVES trainwrecks and hot messes a country such as San Marino, whose entire appeal hinges on cheap campness, should be my catnip, but I am not really that bothered beyond the Monetta Saga. In part because intentional humour is nearly always worse than unintentional comedy, but also because San Marino IS capable of being genuinely good when they put in the effort (Crisalide, Social Network Song, Say Na Na Na). USE SERHAT'S 10TH PLACE IN THE TELEVOTE TO CAPITALIZE ON THE CAMP!!!