After I went to bed at 2:00, fall asleep at 5:50 and got up at 7:20, I've finally cleared my mind enough to write this novel here. It is very personal, probably the most personal thing I've ever written, but this is how I feel and I must share this.
Back in 2012, my first reaction when I heard her first Eurovision entry was: "WTF! But... not bad at all. I kinda like it.". The song became my guilty pleasure, but I didn't expect her to qualify at all beacuse of all the bad comments people were writing about her.
But then last year, something terrible happened in my life and for a very long time, I didn't even live my life, I only exsisted. Everything was very dark and I seriously began to question myself: is it even worth it? But then... Then I heard a song that changed everything. That song was "Crisalide". I fell in love with that song for the first time I heard it and became sort of obsessed with Valentina. She was my rehab, my therapist. I was reading her interviews a lot and really wanted her to succeed that year. I was really dissapointed when she didn't qualify into the final.
At that time I've felt a lot better. Found some new friends, new hobbies and my life became a lot better. The news about Valentina's return made me even more happier. I really wanted her to finally qualify, but when I heard the song, I was kind of sceptical, I have to admit. I thought "If she didn't qualify with 'Crisalide', she probably won't qualify with this weaker song". I'm so glad I was wrong!
During her performance yesterday, my heart was beating like a very old washing machine. And I cried. Her performance was really emotional and we all could see these emotions in her eyes. And when her performance ended, I called my friend and told her through the tears, that I won't be able to handle with broken heart again, if she doesn't qualify. But then, a thing that I never imagined happened. She qualified! Oh my god, was I happy! So happy, that I woke up my parents. She did it! She really did it!
I smiled through the whole press conference. Just seeing Valentina's smile made me smile. Her reactions during the conference... Priceless, just priceless! And seeing that she pulled the "second half" out of that bowl... Sweet!
I don't care if she end up last in the final, she has acomplished her goal. She made it into the final, this inspiring woman, for which she's been fighting for the past 3 years.
She truly is a fighter and she inspires my life every day. She practically saved me and, I know that I'm repeating myself, I'm grateful for that. And if I'll ever get the chance to meet her, I'll tell her this. Her songs were there, when everyone else forgot about me. And I love her beacuse of that.
So thank you, Valentina. Thank you! Thank you for everything from the bottom of my heart!