I'm home in Bergen, Norway. I want to thank you all for this, but I don't know where to start. So I thought I'd just start with the beginning...
For many years now, I've been living a fairly quiet life in Bergen, working at a glass company, at Garage as a doorman, spending time with friends, family and outdoors. It has been a good life, but something inside of me hasn't been quite the way it should. I haven't really related to it, and have just tried my best to live a good life.
In August 2013 my cousin Josefin Winther, came to me with this song, called "Silent Storm". It was a beautiful song, and when she showed me the lyrics I started wondering...
I asked her if this song was about me, and she said yes. It was a strange feeling that someone had seen me the way she had, and at first I couldn't really take it in. These lyrics, so sore. Was this me? She asked if I would be interested in singing the song, and send it to Melodi Grand Prix. I said yes, without having any clue about what we were about to initiate.
I recorded the song, and didn't really think too much about it, before I got a call from Josefin a couple of months later. She was super excited and told me, that the song was chosen for the Norwegian pre-selections. Out of 700 songs, they wanted Silent Storm to be one of the 15 competing to represent Norway.
Underholdningsavdelingen NRK invited us to come to Oslo and sing the song for them. I did, but afterwards they told us, that this wasn't good enough. I realized I had come unprepared and didn't have any experience with singing under such circumstances, and I did not sing very well. But they wanted to give me a second chance. I was to come back after two weeks, and sing it again. After that they would make their decision.
Josefin, my manager Kimberly Larsen and I discussed where to go from there, questioning if this was the right thing. And we decided to move forward, to go all in.
Josefin talked to her friend Live Maria de Lange, which is a vocal teacher and choir conductor. She asked her for help, and I had my first singing lessons in my life with Live. I practiced everyday in those two weeks, and came back to Oslo. I sang the song twice for the NRK production team, and they were very happy.
Now it was a fact. I was going to sing in front of the Norwegian people. So the work began. I started taking singing lessons with Live every week. Slowly I realized that my voice was an instrument that I could master in a completely different way than I had done before.
On the 27th of January 15 seconds of the song was published, and a lot of stuff started happening. The newspapers wrote about me, radio and TV channels wanted to talk to me, and Sony Music Norway wanted to sign me and the song.
To prepare me as much as possible, Josefin took me on tour with her in the last week before the competition started. We traveled around Norway, playing for beautiful audiences night after night. I grew a bit confident on stage, and started to build my experience.
3rd of March we arrived in Oslo, and the rehearsals started. We were preparing for the three semi-finals, where nine songs would perform in Oslo Spektrum in the final.
As the last artist in the last final, I performed "Silent Storm" live for the first time, with TV-cameras broadcasting to Norway live. I was fairly nervous, but I felt that I had done my best. The votes were counted, and we had won! Josefin came on stage and she cried, and then I shed a tear. We were so happy to have qualified.
A week later we were in Oslo Spektrum, and all of a sudden we were in the top four super final. They then announced the votes from all over Norway, and we had won, receiving so many votes from all over Norway. We had never expected any of this, and now we were asked questions like "How does it feel to represent Norway in the biggest music competition in the world?" by journalists.
We were shocked, happy, thankful and humbled.
We had six weeks to prepare for Copenhagen. I started taking two singing lessons a week with Live and performed at two Eurovision parties, one in London, one in Amsterdam.
I also found myself talking about my inner feelings, like loneliness and searching for one's place in the world with people and journalists from all over the world. They were asking about the lyrics, and I tried to answer as best as I could. It wasn't easy, but I was getting more and more comfortable doing it, and that was a very important thing for me.
And all of a sudden time had come.
I traveled to Copenhagen with a delegation of 20 people from NRK. We had a very tight schedule for the coming two weeks, and we got to it.
We had several rehearsals on the enormous stage, with lighting and cameras like nothing I had seen before. I was getting better for each time, and felt more secure.
There were so many dedicated fans, enthusiastic journalists, and every rehearsal I did was covered, commented upon, and discussed online. It was a spectacular thing to be a part of.
Thursday 8th of May it was time for our semi-final, and I felt I did well. I did not feel sure about qualifying, but was so relieved when I did. Norway had given be this fantastic opportunity, but also a big responsibility, and I did not want to let my country and my fans down. To know that I hadn't was one of the most important things for me in the whole competition.
The next day we were already preparing for the final, and I discovered I had even more to give. With the confidence I now had on stage, I managed to open up even more. Show an even bigger part of me, and it felt so good.
Yesterday, I took part in the biggest TV-show in the world, and the biggest music competition on earth. The final featured artists with so much experience, talent and fantastic songs, and I felt honored to be there.
I was number five in the order, and I felt that it went really well. Of course I was nervous, with 180.000.000 people watching and 11.000 in the venue, but I felt that I had gained what I needed to control the nerves.
Afterwards I sat down in the green room, and enjoyed the rest of the spectacular show. So many good artists, but a couple of them really stood out for me personally. The Netherlands, Finland and Conchita Wurst.
When the votes were announced I was nervous, and a bit anxious to see what Europe thought of me and my performance. Quickly it became clear that Conchita would win, but it was still exciting to see all the votes I received from all over Europe.
I had come 8th in the grand final of Eurovision Song Contest 2014, and I was so proud, happy, relieved and ready to finally lower my shoulders.
Afterwards I talked to the press, and then we celebrated with the delegation, me and Josefin's family and some friends.
I started today talking to the press again, before I left for the airport and traveled home.
I'm home now, and I think it is gonna take some time for me to truly realize what I have been a part of.
What I do know, is that I would like to thank you all from the bottom of my heart. You have changed my life, and given me the biggest experience.
And yes, you will definitely hear more music from me. We have already started planning the next single. I can't wait to start planning the future, and let you know about our plans.
With lots of love and gratefulness from
Carl Espen