How do you feel?
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Me: (as I just send my OM votes 23:59:59)
*offended*
Hahahaha
I imagine you actually waiting for the right time to send your votes, that is, 23:59, and not before
Dragonfly21
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- April 22, 2021
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I'm really happy. Just got my decayed tooth removed lol
TL;DR: No one here will understand but the answer to the thread's question is 'angry at the world'
I just made a big rant in a Barbie-related FB group that the general storylines/worldbuilding/characters of barbie movies are highly underused due to them just beign 'low budget children's media' and wishing that something that is essentially a mix of barbie and lord of the rings exists (A pink glittery feminist epic fantasy quest in a world with giant flowerhouses, rainbow unicorns and pretty ethereal mermaids) or barbie movies *at least* being on-par with an LGBT-approving version of disney, and people answered...
'They don't have the budget for that and they're for children, what do you expect, we just love them for nostalgia'
And I was like:
I am not asking Mattel to make a rainbow feminine LOTR lol. I am manifesting it into the universe for Hollywood to pick it up.
(I watched and loved She-Ra and the princesses of power, but it still isn't quite it. Also not enough pretty dresses)
I just made a big rant in a Barbie-related FB group that the general storylines/worldbuilding/characters of barbie movies are highly underused due to them just beign 'low budget children's media' and wishing that something that is essentially a mix of barbie and lord of the rings exists (A pink glittery feminist epic fantasy quest in a world with giant flowerhouses, rainbow unicorns and pretty ethereal mermaids) or barbie movies *at least* being on-par with an LGBT-approving version of disney, and people answered...
'They don't have the budget for that and they're for children, what do you expect, we just love them for nostalgia'
And I was like:
I am not asking Mattel to make a rainbow feminine LOTR lol. I am manifesting it into the universe for Hollywood to pick it up.
(I watched and loved She-Ra and the princesses of power, but it still isn't quite it. Also not enough pretty dresses)
Sooooo, I wasn't going to mention it here but it's something with a very positive outcome and I think this topic doesn't see a lot of positive stuff... but anyway, I officially come out as gay to my family the other day. I've always been in a weird place about my sexuality as it's something i've always been awkward about, in that I don't like to talk about it - its my business, no one elses. So I never spoke about it, and if it ever come up I shot it down. So I've been in this state of purgatory where everyone on here knows (or rather assumes it's the case because ya know, eurovision fan) and I go with it but in real life my friends, family & close work colleagues don't, or rather they all probably do suspect/assume it but it has gone unconfirmed and I never speak about it. I found it very oppressive to my mentality and just my whole wellbeing generally, but I chose to carrying on that way because I preferred the status quo to any potential backlash or becoming the centre of attention. Anyway, recently one of my closest friends was having her own battle with her sexuality and she had made the step to come out, and given her personal circumstances it was an especially massive thing to do. It put a lot into perspective for me and with her courage it gave me the nudge to make the step also, so I wrote a super long letter addressed to my mum & family and left it out for them to see. Anyway, my mum saw it, read it and then she came to me crying saying she still loved me, she's proud of me and I should be of myself also, that it changes nothing and she's super happy I finally told someone about it. I must say, I feel so much happier for doing it, idk why I didn't sooner. It's like the weight of the world has been lifted from my shoulders. It's one less worry in my worry filled life.
@AshleyWright that’s a huge step towards a free life, being yourself no matter what! I knew your mum was a great, lovely mother. I wish you the best, you know it 
Congratulations @AshleyWright 
May the divine Natalie Horler guide you on your way to owning who you are. Your mum probably was as worried about you keeping it to yourself than you about telling her. It will undoubtedly strengthen your ties because it takes trust to show such a vulnerable part of you to someone. Shoutout to your friend, whose personal journey made that possible.
On a totally different subject, I will add my contribution in the "good news" category, something this thread sadly is not about for the most part.
It's been quite a few years now that I was looking to change my career path and did not know how to reach that goal. I will spare you the negative details, but I faced a lot of hardship for seven years both in the professional and personal departments: many failures, a major passing in the family, a hasty move, and a relentless battle against my depressing thoughts.
I found out the best way to move forward was to take a competitive examination, which was even more hell waiting to happen considering I am not a racehorse. For various reasons, I had to prepare and study by myself, not knowing whether it would be enough. 2020 session: I failed the exam due to a single mark I am still unsure how I got it. A feeling of crushing defeat ensued because I would have to wait for a whole year before trying again, with no guarantee to succeed and no viable alternatives in sight.
Two months ago, after months of preparation and stress (just living for that exam), I attended the 2021 session: contrary to the year before, the written papers left me disheartened because I could not finish them in time and thus expected low marks. Game over. Against all odds, I was taken to the second and last stage: the oral paper, which I attended last week. It went so-so, could have been worse, could have been better, but I was not hoping it would be enough for me to succeed.
Today was results day and... BANG! My name was among the successful candidates that will officially take up their new job next September. I wish I could say I am happy right now, but instead I feel sort of numb because I was 100% prepared to fail once again. So not only this news marks a career change, but it will also lead to a change of life for the better, more stability and fulfilment. After all the crap I have had to deal with for years, now seems to be my chance. As my grandmother - who lived a super tough life - likes to say: "the sun shines for everyone, if it's not your turn today, it will be tomorrow". If you guys have dreams, don't give up even if you feel like you hit rock bottom and there is no apparent way of improving the situation. It can take time, but the opportunity will come. Then it's a matter of you being ready to seize it. If I did it, so can you.
I know hope can be a scarce commodity, so I wanted to give you some.
May the divine Natalie Horler guide you on your way to owning who you are. Your mum probably was as worried about you keeping it to yourself than you about telling her. It will undoubtedly strengthen your ties because it takes trust to show such a vulnerable part of you to someone. Shoutout to your friend, whose personal journey made that possible.On a totally different subject, I will add my contribution in the "good news" category, something this thread sadly is not about for the most part.
It's been quite a few years now that I was looking to change my career path and did not know how to reach that goal. I will spare you the negative details, but I faced a lot of hardship for seven years both in the professional and personal departments: many failures, a major passing in the family, a hasty move, and a relentless battle against my depressing thoughts.
I found out the best way to move forward was to take a competitive examination, which was even more hell waiting to happen considering I am not a racehorse. For various reasons, I had to prepare and study by myself, not knowing whether it would be enough. 2020 session: I failed the exam due to a single mark I am still unsure how I got it. A feeling of crushing defeat ensued because I would have to wait for a whole year before trying again, with no guarantee to succeed and no viable alternatives in sight.
Two months ago, after months of preparation and stress (just living for that exam), I attended the 2021 session: contrary to the year before, the written papers left me disheartened because I could not finish them in time and thus expected low marks. Game over. Against all odds, I was taken to the second and last stage: the oral paper, which I attended last week. It went so-so, could have been worse, could have been better, but I was not hoping it would be enough for me to succeed.
Today was results day and... BANG! My name was among the successful candidates that will officially take up their new job next September. I wish I could say I am happy right now, but instead I feel sort of numb because I was 100% prepared to fail once again. So not only this news marks a career change, but it will also lead to a change of life for the better, more stability and fulfilment. After all the crap I have had to deal with for years, now seems to be my chance. As my grandmother - who lived a super tough life - likes to say: "the sun shines for everyone, if it's not your turn today, it will be tomorrow". If you guys have dreams, don't give up even if you feel like you hit rock bottom and there is no apparent way of improving the situation. It can take time, but the opportunity will come. Then it's a matter of you being ready to seize it. If I did it, so can you.
I know hope can be a scarce commodity, so I wanted to give you some.
So happy for you @tuorem, congratulations Your post really spoke to me and gave me strength to continue because maybe there will be a happy end on my street as well, maybe...
I attended several examinations like that in the recent years, two times an entrance examination to become a magistrate and one to become a court clerk last year. Unfortunately, all ended in failure and my self-confidence hit Mariana Trench levels. No matter how many months I studied - one, three, six - every time I fucked it up.
Cue to today, when I attended an examination to become a court clerk #TakeTwo. In the past two months I lived and breathed civil procedure, criminal procedure and subjects like that, to a point I even questioned my sanity. I was hopeful that this time the examination will go better, but alas, I had again some tough stuff, not the stuff that I fucking knew by heart after two months, but stuff that I had to improvise. A lot. Fuck. I might pass but I have a bad feeling about it...but c'est la vie at this point.
I felt like crap in the past two hours but reading your post really made me think about things in another perspective so thank you
Your post really spoke to me and gave me strength to continue because maybe there will be a happy end on my street as well, maybe...I attended several examinations like that in the recent years, two times an entrance examination to become a magistrate and one to become a court clerk last year. Unfortunately, all ended in failure and my self-confidence hit Mariana Trench levels. No matter how many months I studied - one, three, six - every time I fucked it up.
Cue to today, when I attended an examination to become a court clerk #TakeTwo. In the past two months I lived and breathed civil procedure, criminal procedure and subjects like that, to a point I even questioned my sanity. I was hopeful that this time the examination will go better, but alas, I had again some tough stuff, not the stuff that I fucking knew by heart after two months, but stuff that I had to improvise. A lot. Fuck. I might pass but I have a bad feeling about it...but c'est la vie at this point.
I felt like crap in the past two hours but reading your post really made me think about things in another perspective so thank you
Don't mention it @Gera11 Thank you for sharing your account. First of all, I am so sorry that you are going through stress and doubt right now: competitive exams are - in themselves - a test structure-wise because they require a mindset that should adapt to conditions that are not those found in the workplace. There is the extra pressure of standing out amongst other profiles and being on top of your game because a whole career path depends on a one-off performance.
I really feel you about everything you wrote, the heavy preparations, the papers catching you off-guard, the despondency knocking on your door after having invested so much time and effort in an exam whose outcome either did not turn out well or does not give you confident vibes...
Pieces of advice may be pointless because everyone is different and reacts in a very personal way to such failures. But I would still tell you - with my own experience - to:
-Take every step of the exam like a valuable try as much as possible and think how you could improve if you had to participate again in similar conditions. What can you learn from that? If that exam is the means leading to the path you want to take, do not give up thinking it is not for you, because all the participants are in the same boat. Some people succeed with one try, others after the fourth one, that's true: but a lot of factors step in. Stick to the mould you are expected to fit.
-Focus on your craft and your craft only. It's very easy to put extra pressure on yourself by thinking of other candidates' abilities and stuff. Do what one asks you to do as if you were the only one applying.
-More importantly, when it comes to failure, just put things into perspective and tell yourself you cannot control everything and there IS a part of luck in such exams (level of difficulty of the papers, number of candidates, the various profiles you are competing against, the jurors and examiners responsible for marking your work...). When I understood that, I felt better about failing: yes, I had identified room for improvement (which I kept in mind for the next attempt), but there are some factors beyond control too.
Let me/us know what comes out of your exam if you want to. I cross my fingers for a nice surprise, you get all my support. I am certain you are more than capable to prevail over it and embrace your dream job.
First of all, I am so sorry that you are going through stress and doubt right now: competitive exams are - in themselves - a test structure-wise because they require a mindset that should adapt to conditions that are not those found in the workplace. There is the extra pressure of standing out amongst other profiles and being on top of your game because a whole career path depends on a one-off performance.I really feel you about everything you wrote, the heavy preparations, the papers catching you off-guard, the despondency knocking on your door after having invested so much time and effort in an exam whose outcome either did not turn out well or does not give you confident vibes...
Pieces of advice may be pointless because everyone is different and reacts in a very personal way to such failures. But I would still tell you - with my own experience - to:
-Take every step of the exam like a valuable try as much as possible and think how you could improve if you had to participate again in similar conditions. What can you learn from that? If that exam is the means leading to the path you want to take, do not give up thinking it is not for you, because all the participants are in the same boat. Some people succeed with one try, others after the fourth one, that's true: but a lot of factors step in. Stick to the mould you are expected to fit.
-Focus on your craft and your craft only. It's very easy to put extra pressure on yourself by thinking of other candidates' abilities and stuff. Do what one asks you to do as if you were the only one applying.
-More importantly, when it comes to failure, just put things into perspective and tell yourself you cannot control everything and there IS a part of luck in such exams (level of difficulty of the papers, number of candidates, the various profiles you are competing against, the jurors and examiners responsible for marking your work...). When I understood that, I felt better about failing: yes, I had identified room for improvement (which I kept in mind for the next attempt), but there are some factors beyond control too.
Let me/us know what comes out of your exam if you want to. I cross my fingers for a nice surprise, you get all my support. I am certain you are more than capable to prevail over it and embrace your dream job.
This is what I realized, that it's really down to luck sometimes. There were 300 people signed up for the examination for something like 20 positions, so it was bound to be hard enough to not have too many people pass.
I definitely see where I can improve next time, the stuff that I should've probably focused more attention on, a chunk of the examination will always be down to luck, whether the law articles I have to write down from memory are some I could easily memorize or the ones that are such a bitch to remember. Nevertheless, the worst part is the waiting - in case that I fail - until November-December or next year in summer for another round of examination. Years passing by. >.>
Merci beaucoup pour tes conseils.
Nicholas123
Well-known member
Ngl, i would feel the same if i had to study these stuff. Brrrrrrrrrrr. (administrative law still rules)
And now i am getting serious. Not gonna sugarcoat anything, i know that failing sucks and it's bad for ur self esteem. But the most important lesson i got in this life is that we must be flexible and always devising a plan b (or c or even d). I mean, ok. If it wasnt't meant for this year to pass your clerk or magistrate exams, it will the the year after and if not, then there must be another alternate, like freelence law practicing, or something else. Keep trying and eventually u will be rewared.
Ngl, i would feel the same if i had to study these stuff. Brrrrrrrrrrr. (administrative law still rules)
Haha
It's the first exam I had to write articles mot à mot (word-by-word) on the exam paper 
Thank you Nicholas
Yeah I'm totally going be a flexible bitch in the near future, gonna dip my toes in the 'legal advisor' territory even though I'm not very crazy about it and maybe I will try for the bar exam too since right now it looks rather easy compared to the shit I had to study for the one I just attended. x_x
A conversation in the post office:
- Hey, you gotta queue like the others!
- No, I don’t have to queue because I’m only leaving here some letters that don’t require any registration or signature, as they still haven’t the postbox ready after the remodelling of the office. This is how I was told to do.
- Well, we are queuing so you should queue as well.
- No.
*Asking a worker about this out loud so he could hear it: “no, you don’t have to queue for this” and leaving the letters on the desk*
- I told you, people don’t have to queue in these cases, we’re not requiring a single second of personal attention so it doesn’t affect you at all.
- We are all queuing, and you should queue too.
*me: wondering what kind of intellectual disability this man has*
- Well I didn’t queue so f*ck off.
Why are some people this retarded?
- Hey, you gotta queue like the others!
- No, I don’t have to queue because I’m only leaving here some letters that don’t require any registration or signature, as they still haven’t the postbox ready after the remodelling of the office. This is how I was told to do.
- Well, we are queuing so you should queue as well.
- No.
*Asking a worker about this out loud so he could hear it: “no, you don’t have to queue for this” and leaving the letters on the desk*
- I told you, people don’t have to queue in these cases, we’re not requiring a single second of personal attention so it doesn’t affect you at all.
- We are all queuing, and you should queue too.
*me: wondering what kind of intellectual disability this man has*
- Well I didn’t queue
so f*ck off.Why are some people this retarded?
OMG I'm so happy you finally got itCongratulations @AshleyWright
On a totally different subject, I will add my contribution in the "good news" category, something this thread sadly is not about for the most part.
It's been quite a few years now that I was looking to change my career path and did not know how to reach that goal. I will spare you the negative details, but I faced a lot of hardship for seven years both in the professional and personal departments: many failures, a major passing in the family, a hasty move, and a relentless battle against my depressing thoughts.
I found out the best way to move forward was to take a competitive examination, which was even more hell waiting to happen considering I am not a racehorse. For various reasons, I had to prepare and study by myself, not knowing whether it would be enough. 2020 session: I failed the exam due to a single mark I am still unsure how I got it. A feeling of crushing defeat ensued because I would have to wait for a whole year before trying again, with no guarantee to succeed and no viable alternatives in sight.
Two months ago, after months of preparation and stress (just living for that exam), I attended the 2021 session: contrary to the year before, the written papers left me disheartened because I could not finish them in time and thus expected low marks. Game over. Against all odds, I was taken to the second and last stage: the oral paper, which I attended last week. It went so-so, could have been worse, could have been better, but I was not hoping it would be enough for me to succeed.
Today was results day and... BANG! My name was among the successful candidates that will officially take up their new job next September. I wish I could say I am happy right now, but instead I feel sort of numb because I was 100% prepared to fail once again. So not only this news marks a career change, but it will also lead to a change of life for the better, more stability and fulfilment. After all the crap I have had to deal with for years, now seems to be my chance. As my grandmother - who lived a super tough life - likes to say: "the sun shines for everyone, if it's not your turn today, it will be tomorrow". If you guys have dreams, don't give up even if you feel like you hit rock bottom and there is no apparent way of improving the situation. It can take time, but the opportunity will come. Then it's a matter of you being ready to seize it. If I did it, so can you.
You deserve the best 
@Gera11 sis I know you will find your way and pull through, I don't know about your knowledge or professional abilities but you have the soft skills for it
I don't know about the stress of failing such important exams, but I graduate from my master in 2 months just after internship and... I don't have any serious plan for the future
Well, I know in which field I wanna work, I know which type of companies I would like to get in and where they could make a food use of me but the current situation doesn't help AT ALL in creating opportunities.
This morning I got the first dose of the covid vaccine and so far I only feel that my arm hurts a bit. Let's see tomorrow XD.
Apart from this, yesterday I could relax at the beach and go for a walk along the coastline (I'll show some pictures below). I always go very early in the morning because there are fewer people. At least before the pandemic it used to get crowded at around 12 am, but to me at this time it gets so hot that it's unbearable. A good thing is that it was the first time I drove the car to the coast (around 45 km). As I said in a previous post, I had my driving license in 2008 but never drove a car since, so I kinda forgot it and I've had to take lessons again. Not gonna lie, I'm much better at driving in urban areas To sum up, it's been a pretty nice weekend.
Apart from this, yesterday I could relax at the beach and go for a walk along the coastline (I'll show some pictures below). I always go very early in the morning because there are fewer people. At least before the pandemic it used to get crowded at around 12 am, but to me at this time it gets so hot that it's unbearable. A good thing is that it was the first time I drove the car to the coast (around 45 km). As I said in a previous post, I had my driving license in 2008 but never drove a car since, so I kinda forgot it and I've had to take lessons again. Not gonna lie, I'm much better at driving in urban areas
To sum up, it's been a pretty nice weekend.
Brandt
Well-known member
- Joined
- December 27, 2014
- Posts
- 3,203
I just went through the most intense day of my life. I have been feeling weak and had some rather weird symptoms on my body since Monday especially. Today when I looked it up on Google, they were basically half of what acute HIV symptoms are like. I stressed over it so badly that no minute ever passed so easily. I went to a hospital after work to get tested. The slowest 45 minutes of my life, waiting for the results. But in the end, it came negative and I had a blast.
EurovisionSmile
Veteran
I feel more or less like her... Not only today, but for the past few weeks. Desperately needing holidays!