How do you feel?

[DenizESC]

weekly crying is happening now at 2:30 am

Wut happened </3
:O hmu whenever u want ofc. I wish I could cometobrazil to join u x

Bcs can relate, I've been having my own shot of braindeadness today as well as you know. Wrote a whole novel but its something im kind of ashamed off so...

 

[ESC94]

Well, today I received the news that one of my uncles has died. His liver failed due to long lasting alcohol abuse. He died excactly one month after his younger brother, my father.

What makes this even more said is that his wife wasn´t allowed to see him before he died, because due to the coronavirus it´s not allowed to enter hospitals in .

Even though I didn´t see him all that often I feel very sad.

 

[MalagaToledo]

How do I feel? Very sad, miserable and angry on myself. I went to get some groceries and there was a young cashier who was doing practice. It was obvious her first day at work. And I had smth else in my second bag and she probably didn't hear me. But when she said how much it was, I said you didn't scan my groceries In the other bag. Needles to say I lost 2 euros because I couldn't shut my mouth. I will never learn. and it wouldn't even be my mistake because it was her first day. But nothing would have happened even if I didn't pay. I lost 2 euros because I'm such a stupid person.

 

[Ausesken]

I’m not feeling very good. I think it must be the combination of not going out, not sleeping well and spending too much time behind a screen.

 

[ESC94]

I don´t feel that well either. I´ve got a headache the whole day already, and I really don´t know why.

 

[MalagaToledo]

I feel like I've lost control over everything. I can't turn bsck time, I can't be someone else and I don't think I'll ever be happy. But it isn't about this life. Its what comes after it and even there im not sure I could finish in heaven. I know I have a lot of people who don't like to see me here and who would be happy to hear such things. But I don't care. It is anonymous based forum.

 

[Brandt]

I’m not feeling very good. I think it must be the combination of not going out, not sleeping well and spending too much time behind a screen.

Hey that's my summer vacation

 

[Leydan]

So I wasn't actually planning to say something here or make a thing of it but I need to write about it somewhere and I wont to anyone else. At work on Sunday (yes I still go to work) I got threatened by a shoplifter with a needle, in the moment i thought it was a full on knife or a screwdriver even and thought my life was possibly at risk. Anyway it was a whole thing, my work was closed down and the police, CSI Forensics and such come in to work to take statements and do stuff at the scene. The experience at the time left me shaken up a bit, anxious and feeling a bit sick but other than them emotions I was completely fine and when I went home straight after the police left I was feeling ok. But in the few days after the whole experience has been sat on my mind, I haven't been in work since and i'm not back till Tuesday but It's all I can think about atm and I feel like I keep reliving it over and over. I've always been good at hiding at how I truly feel and i hate speaking face to face about how I feel, so that's why this forum is the place I go. The man who did it was arrested and went to crown court, but he didn't put a plea in an has been let out on bail. I could end up having to go to court to give evidence etc, and quite frankly I don't want to, but I will do so if they want me to go. I just hope all of it passes quickly emotionally and in real life and I can carry on.

 

[mauve]

So I wasn't actually planning to say something here or make a thing of it but I need to write about it somewhere and I wont to anyone else. At work on Sunday (yes I still go to work) I got threatened by a shoplifter with a needle, in the moment i thought it was a full on knife or a screwdriver even and thought my life was possibly at risk. Anyway it was a whole thing, my work was closed down and the police, CSI Forensics and such come in to work to take statements and do stuff at the scene. The experience at the time left me shaken up a bit, anxious and feeling a bit sick but other than them emotions I was completely fine and when I went home straight after the police left I was feeling ok. But in the few days after the whole experience has been sat on my mind, I haven't been in work since and i'm not back till Tuesday but It's all I can think about atm and I feel like I keep reliving it over and over. I've always been good at hiding at how I truly feel and i hate speaking face to face about how I feel, so that's why this forum is the place I go. The man who did it was arrested and went to crown court, but he didn't put a plea in an has been let out on bail. I could end up having to go to court to give evidence etc, and quite frankly I don't want to, but I will do so if they want me to go. I just hope all of it passes quickly emotionally and in real life and I can carry on.

That sounds like a terrible experience to make. I have never been in a situation like this, but your descrition made me feel horrible. I hope you recover soon from the shock. Guess all words would be hollow. Such a thing can't be calmed by words.

 

[AlekS]

Get a gas pistol. Tho if that lost soul decided to threaten me, he should pray that somebody would be around
The assault(s) on me changed my own attitude towards self-defence and there's no place for fear. I was beaten at high school by a bully and imagine going to the same class with that person after that, every day. You will have to overcome fear & thoughts about avoiding problems.
After being raped I promised myself that nobody will ever hurt me again. Tho I control my rage against such people but I'm kinda "lucky". In 2 years after that some homeless man threatened me with a knife at the biggest avenue at 21:00 (but there was noone around) simply because he didn't like me walking beside him. I chose to walk away because I felt sorry for him + I kept in mind heavy traffic and that somebody could call police on me, I've got no time for all that bs.

Lulz @ shoplifting but having money for a bail. Such people rarely come back to the same place where they had commited a crime. It's your attacker who should be afraid to meet you again. They are afraid & having issues too. If he's dumb and he wants to rob the same place twice or have a revenge, then you better prepare yourself to whoop his ass

ps. In any case, overthinking that accident will make you stronger with the right approach.

 

[Leydan]

Get a gas pistol. Tho if that lost soul decided to threaten me, he should pray that somebody would be around
The assault(s) on me changed my own attitude towards self-defence and there's no place for fear. I was beaten at high school by a bully and imagine going to the same class with that person after that, every day. You will have to overcome fear & thoughts about avoiding problems.
After being raped I promised myself that nobody will ever hurt me again. Tho I control my rage against such people but I'm kinda "lucky". In 2 years after that some homeless man threatened me with a knife at the biggest avenue at 21:00 (but there was noone around) simply because he didn't like me walking beside him. I chose to walk away because I felt sorry for him + I kept in mind heavy traffic and that somebody could call police on me, I've got no time for all that bs.

Lulz @ shoplifting but having money for a bail. Such people rarely come back to the same place where they had commited a crime. It's your attacker who should be afraid to meet you again. They are afraid & having issues too. If he's dumb and he wants to rob the same place twice or have a revenge, then you better prepare yourself to whoop his ass

ps. In any case, overthinking that accident will make you stronger with the right approach.

I think i'd lose my job if I went in with a gas pistol. It's a nice thought though, they'd soon stop if I had one of them pointing at them. Tbh it all happened so fast to be able to think properly. I'm sorry for all the stuff you've gone through and suffered, especially being raped that is horrific and no one should have to go through anything like that. It's clear you've come out a much stronger person for it at the end of it, which is great. Instead of letting it get you down. That situation with the homeless man you probably did the right thing tbh, better not to start something with a stranger with a knife who could be on any sorts of drugs or whatever. That was my thoughts in my situation when I saw he had the weapon, I was trying to stop him but the second he pulled out the needle I let go, it is just a needle (still a weapon lol) but you don't know what diseases are on that thing.

We get a lot of shoplifters where I work actually, many do return. Many are surprised by it as I work in a more 'posh' well to do area of town, but they all come from the worst part of town. He can't come back though, his bail conditions state he can't come near where I work. So if he does he will be stupid. Well... he is anyway.

 

[AlekS]

I think i'd lose my job if I went in with a gas pistol. It's a nice thought though, they'd soon stop if I had one of them pointing at them. Tbh it all happened so fast to be able to think properly. I'm sorry for all the stuff you've gone through and suffered, especially being raped that is horrific and no one should have to go through anything like that. It's clear you've come out a much stronger person for it at the end of it, which is great. Instead of letting it get you down. That situation with the homeless man you probably did the right thing tbh, better not to start something with a stranger with a knife who could be on any sorts of drugs or whatever. That was my thoughts in my situation when I saw he had the weapon, I was trying to stop him but the second he pulled out the needle I let go, it is just a needle (still a weapon lol) but you don't know what diseases are on that thing.

We get a lot of shoplifters where I work actually, many do return. Many are surprised by it as I work in a more 'posh' well to do area of town, but they all come from the worst part of town. He can't come back though, his bail conditions state he can't come near where I work. So if he does he will be stupid. Well... he is anyway.

Do you go through security check or something?)) It's not a lethal weapon anyway. A pocket defense spray would work too - at work and outside. Spray him and call security.
The stranger... I felt more powerful than him but homeless people have a harsh life and being defensive (especially at night, even if he's drunk) is a natural thing for them, he didn't intend to attack me so it would be wrong to attack him in response.

 

[r3gg13]

@AshleyWright I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. I have been assaulted in the past, so I can empathize with what you're going through. I can tell you that it does get better with time. Give yourself some time and space to process and heal. Also, don't shy away from mental health professionals if you need it, they are there for you.

Are you guys allowed to have tasers or mace/pepper spray at work? When I was a postman, I had a mace to protect myself from the crazies.

 

[Nicholas123]

Day #20(?) of quarantine mood.

 

[Leydan]

Do you go through security check or something?)) It's not a lethal weapon anyway. A pocket defense spray would work too - at work and outside. Spray him and call security.
The stranger... I felt more powerful than him but homeless people have a harsh life and being defensive (especially at night, even if he's drunk) is a natural thing for them, he didn't intend to attack me so it would be wrong to attack him in response.

For a gas pistol? i'm not 100% sure tbh, but the laws are VERY VERY strict here and with normal weapons you have to go through extensive checks and only the authorities can issue out licences. I know BB Guns (which were popular here some years back) are heavily controlled also. I never thought to get a defense spray though, It's something I might look in to. Especially where I live has some very bad areas.

Yeah, there is that also to consider. They're always in a defensive mode and can't take chances. Homeless people are generally easier targets anyway. You had nothing to gain from escalating the problem.

@AshleyWright I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. I have been assaulted in the past, so I can empathize with what you're going through. I can tell you that it does get better with time. Give yourself some time and space to process and heal. Also, don't shy away from mental health professionals if you need it, they are there for you.

Are you guys allowed to have tasers or mace/pepper spray at work? When I was a postman, I had a mace to protect myself from the crazies.

My work actually sent me a letter apologising and offered me access to mental health workers etc if I needed it, I don't think I need any of that tbh but it's a nice thought to know it's all there just in case. Sorry you were assaulted also in the past, it's the problems that come with jobs like that working with the public.

afaik no, tasers definitely not. They're illegal here for the public to possess, you can even go to jail for having it. We used to have a security guard, but work got rid of him as he wasn't cost effective which was a shame as he was really good. We basically have ourselves, and police panic buttons. It's very rare though that anything bad goes down to that level though. Any shoplifters that come in are out in seconds and if they've been spotted just walk out as if they're a casual shopper.

 

[r3gg13]

My work actually sent me a letter apologising and offered me access to mental health workers etc if I needed it, I don't think I need any of that tbh but it's a nice thought to know it's all there just in case. Sorry you were assaulted also in the past, it's the problems that come with jobs like that working with the public.

afaik no, tasers definitely not. They're illegal here for the public to possess, you can even go to jail for having it. We used to have a security guard, but work got rid of him as he wasn't cost effective which was a shame as he was really good. We basically have ourselves, and police panic buttons. It's very rare though that anything bad goes down to that level though. Any shoplifters that come in are out in seconds and if they've been spotted just walk out as if they're a casual shopper.

I'm glad that your work offered you support, that is the least they can do! Sending you positive vibes man

 

[Ausesken]

I’m in a very bad mood today.

 

[DenizESC]

Summary of my carreer found in 1 song

@SaladBreak @anaraqueen @RainyWoods @DaFlo @Genesis @Ausesken

2:55 to 04:05 specifically. I won't have lived until I represent ESC for San Marino with something like this - Ana ur the blonde.

'TEMPO MILLET'

 

[SaladBreak]

Summary of my carreer found in 1 song

@SaladBreak @anaraqueen @RainyWoods @DaFlo @Genesis @Ausesken

2:55 to 04:05 specifically. I won't have lived until I represent ESC for San Marino with something like this - Ana ur the blonde.

'TEMPO MILLET'

Well now we know where cignature got that inventive "peep" beat in ASSA from

 

[DenizESC]

At least that's still a bop so I will forgive them if they include me as ft.