So, I had listened to the Danish entries before just briefly and my notes say "No pot. win, value@dnq v worst Sc. Duerlund?" So yeah, no potential winner, betting against Denmark likely to be a value bet and I'm rather unsure about some Duerlund. Now, I have listened to the entries more intently to do a write-up about what I expect is going to happen and what I think should happen and I understand what I mean. Denmark has no winning song, in fact this selection of songs is so bad it's actually offensive to me. Last year Denmark had this insipid little piece of jack all that needed all the cuteness in the world to somehow finesse its way into the final where it did pretty well because of a very friendly placing in the running order between a bunch of weak songs and unlikable characters. This year it's going to be the same trick I guess, because there's no way to salvage this junk. Or is there?
Bullshit Tier:
Jamie Talbot | Bye Bye Heaven |
Isam B | Bølger |
I'm Going To Get Some Snacks/Something To Drink Tier:
Sander Sanchez | Screens |
Benjamin Kissi | Faith |
Emil | Ville ønske jeg havde kendt dig |
Sys Bjerre | Honestly |
Leaves 3 (4) entries that are just about viable, but only just:
Kenny Duerlund - Forget It All : I like that this song builds to a proper chorus with a break-beat that's always very helpful to just feign a nice velocity in a slower song. Melodically not that interesting, but it's not bad at all. With good staging and a very strong performance by the singer this could go places. Worried though that the singer doesn't have the pipes, because the performance on the recording isn't great. Feel that this track has a low floor but a high ceiling. This is probably the best choice to make given the weakness of the other entries I perceive.
Maja & De Sarte Sjæle - Den eneste goth i Vejle : If you're trying to do a song on 80s angst this is the way to do it. This does sound like The Cure in a slightly more modern jacket while keeping the core of it intact. It's likely to be appreciated by a wider audience than one would expect and there's a lot of potential for staging this in a way that's going to be memorable. This is what I want to see in Rotterdam, but it's going to take one stellar acting job for her to pull this off in a way that's going to work beyond the rest of the 'Greater Germanosphere' so to speak. It's a very high risk for only a decent reward. Not the best choice, but I feel like Denmark just has to do it.
Jasmin Rose feat RoxorLoops - Human : Let's put it like this: this song pretends to be far better than it actually is. This is just not at all entertaining and it doesn't really sound good. Production is only average, relying on very basic tricks that we have heard a thousand times before. And then after 2 minutes and a bit the song is basically done. So, as this is Eurovision, what do you do? A key change. What? It's almost never a good idea to go for a key change in a dance track. It's certainly not a good choice here. So what you're left with is a lazily produced song with a chorus that just has a very uninteresting vocal line and there's just not much else here. It will lose to every other banger out there. It's also a simple dance track so there's nothing here you can fix with staging or a stellar vocal performance. It's probably a better song than Vejle and Forget It All, but there you can make the act be better than what the song is giving you. This is really just asking for a DNQ in the semis. This should not be chosen.
Now, all that I have written above is written as if the following never existed. Unfortunately it does:
Ben & Tan - Yes : Great, an IKEA commercial. There is nothing in all of music I despise more than stuff like this. This is children's music, except it's very loud and sung by two hipster shits I would simply leave to die even if they needed my help. My brain hurts just thinking about this stupidity posing as a song. Stuff like this has been very hit and miss at Eurovision and this is easily the most irritating thing I have heard in a very long time and that includes the auditions for the NF of Moldova which was absolutely horrible. I am completely unable to judge this song because of my extreme intrinsic dislike of utter crap like this. I have no clue if this is a good choice or not. It's probably the best Denmark has? I have marked it as a decent entry, it's melodically very strong and I can't argue with such melodies. I just don't ever want to be forced to listen to this again in my life. Please.
So what will happen? Well naturally Denmark, being the god-forsaken piece of flatness it is, will choose Yes. It worked last time didn't it? And what alternative do they realistically have? Ugh.