Coming out of the closet.

[MyHeartIsYours]

I kinda agree with what you said...
This "comming out" things are kinda pointless for me.
Be who you are, that`s the most important thing

I would also agree with this and I do wish that coming out was unnecessary but in my life it had to be done because I grew up liking girls also and in our society, it is 'presumed' that everybody is straight.

 

[nikolay_BG]

I would also agree with this and I do wish that coming out was unnecessary but in my life it had to be done because I grew up liking girls also and in our society, it is 'presumed' that everybody is straight.

Then that means that UK is more homophobic then Bulgaria

If you don`t know even before the "Love parades" started, there were gay clubs in Bulgaria. Yes, even before the commies to come here. I speak for the years around the 1930s.

 

[MyHeartIsYours]

Then that means that UK is more homophobic then Bulgaria

If you don`t know even before the "Love parades" started, there were gay clubs in Bulgaria. Yes, even before the commies to come here. I speak for the years around the 1930s.

Well I've never been to Bulgaria but it's not homophobia here because when you do come out nobody has a problem with it, but it's very straight-orientated, as I said it is 'presumed' you're straight. And it does make you (well me anyway) feel sort of isolated about it, even though nobody has anything against it.
The UK was previously the most homophobic country though. It is strange how times change really, even in a matter of decades. Our famous gay writers from the inter-war period all went to Berlin to escape 'stuffy' Britain in the 20's and 30's . We only got our rights here when Tony Blair became Prime Minister in 1997, that is one of the reasons why I am one of his biggest supporters.

 

[nikolay_BG]

Well you know, it was never legal to be gay here and most of the gay clubs were "secret". When the commies came in 44th year , the gays were chased like "witches"(?). Most of them were greeks or serbian (who were here, cause in Greece there was the junta etc.) so after 44th year the gays were seen as "ill". But after 89th year the commies left, but (older) people still see them as ill, but the newer clubs after 89th year were...gay clubs. Also we had travestite shows etc. That was way before 97th year

That`s why we make a difference between "gay" and "faggots" (pedal in bulgarian).

And of course we have neo nazis here, who are extremly homophobic, but most of the people don`t actually care so much about who`s gay and who isn`t.
That`s why most of the bulgarians find "comming out" and "gay parades" pointless. They just don`t work here. Maybe it`s an eastern thing, dunno :?

 

[MyHeartIsYours]

I always wondered why the Soviets were so against homosexuality - the socialist line is supposed to be that everyone is equal and that there isnt anything wrong with GLBT people. But I think it was Stalin who was a rather evil man - Lenin didnt really mention homosexuality and I think even under his term it may have been legal in Russia?
Well it has been legal here since 1967 but we didnt have any rights like equal age of consent, military service, discrimination protection, civil partnerships or adoption until Tony Blair came to power in 1997. Margaret Thatcher was infamous for removing what already few rights gay people had in the 1980's. It is still strange for me to think that when my Mum and Dad were born it was illegal, it must have been really difficult for people back then, I cant imagine :?.

Our far-right is strange in that they actually have a GLBT society and they talk of defending gay people. They hope to gain support I think from those of us who are concerned about Islamification - I am concerned about it but Id still never be tempted to support such thugs. And many old people here do still struggle with the issue; they either are against homosexuality because when they grew up they were taught it was wrong, etc or they dont have a problem with it but they dont understand it fully. This of course is a gereralisation, but you can pick the trend out on opinion polls on the issue.

 

[AlekS]

^ It was illegal in Russian Empire as well ... it was clear religious hatred.
Stalin came from Georgia, extremely religious society (esp among poor and uneducated people).
Educated people and esp scientists were seen as atheist thus they couldn't be manipulated with their faith, blah blah blah...

Unfortunately Lenin & Stalin murdered/departed almost all scientists and their substitude were uneducated people who thought that they were scientists or "prostitutes" who changed their own principles just to fit that sick ideology. They thought that gays couldn't have kids thus they were useless for society, thus they had to be imprisoned/murdered etc.
Yep, incredible primitivism.

Also gays and lesbians were seen as ill people whose "disease" came from the West.
It was a rare symbiosis of paranoia mixed with total lack of education (Soviet communism was formed by workers and villagers) and hatred against the West (later against USA after WWII).

Later gays were blamed in spreading AIDS, even despite 85-92% (!) infected peeps are straight drug addicted and 5% are straight couples who caught it via sex.
In other words communist politicians just search for reasons for this extreme discrimination in order to justify their ideology

Ukraine and Baltic states suffered from Soviet regime (esp until the 50's) the most. Thus we were the 1st who accepted the difference.
Ukraine was the 1st country that legalized gays, we were the 1st who added a punishment for rape, few months ago we allowed gays and lesbians to register LGBT-themed organizations officially ie. from the juridical point of view they became equal. We even have official homosexual churches, lol.
Of course we have a lot of homophobes still and it will be hard to get rid of that crap but in our case it's possible.
Comparing 1990 and 2011 - it's 2 huge differences.



Btw, our X-Factor (10ml. viewers per week) judge doesn't hide his orientation.
As well as 1 judge from Dancing for You show. We have openly gay singers and even bands, politicians, TV hosts etc. )))

 

[Sabiondo]

Aleks, don't forget the rumors about Stalin hide Sexuality

 

[Sabiondo]

^ It was illegal in Russian Empire as well ... it was clear religious hatred.

It was illegal outside the Winter Palace in Leningrad, but within that was a secret orgies .. or u must tell to Rasputin & co.

 

[AlekS]

^ except Rasputin wasn't gay.

Everyone's gay according to rumours - Stalin, Hitler, Chavez...




And it was Stalin who made it illegal in USSR.
It was a great gay plan, Sabi, yep... it was:
1. To become father of 3 children
2. To imprison all bi, gays and lesbians
3. To depart jews and tatars
4. To kill 10 mil. Ukrainians
5. To imprison 25 mil. people
6. To become gay

 

[Sabiondo]

^ except Rasputin wasn't gay.

I know but i read in somewhere that the Tsar Prince, Felix Yusupov was fall in love with her ''..ck'' and was a prince who tried to hide their sexuality in all.

And it was Stalin who made it illegal in USSR.
It was a great gay plan, Sabi, yep... it was:
1. To become father of 3 children
2. To imprison all bi, gays and lesbians
3. To depart jews and tatars
4. To kill 10 mil. Ukrainians
5. To imprison 25 mil. people
6. To become gay

Don't foget that he was divided the Caucasus at his will and now we have the conflicts of Nargomo-Karabakh, South Ossetia, etc ...

But i found something interesting about him : http://englishrussia.com/2009/12/14/“gay”-notes-of-stalin-on-the-celebs-reproductions/

 

[AlekS]

I know but i read in somewhere that the Tsar Prince, Felix Yusupov was fall in love with her ''..ck'' and was a prince who tried to hide their sexuality in all.





Don't foget that he was divided the Caucasus at his will and now we have the conflicts of Nargomo-Karabakh, South Ossetia, etc ...

But i found something : http://englishrussia.com/2009/12/14/“gay”-notes-of-stalin-on-the-celebs-reproductions/

Don't 4get that it's not political forum

and its' all about 2 sh*ttiest things in the world: yellow press and speculating on hatred.

 

[nikolay_BG]

I think we should leave gay people as they are.

Past is past, we can`t change it. So...?

 

[94ayd]

Not that I've had to tell people about something like that but I'd find it most natural to speak to my parents first. I guess it depends what your relations with them are like.

 

[MyHeartIsYours]

^ It was illegal in Russian Empire as well ... it was clear religious hatred.
Stalin came from Georgia, extremely religious society (esp among poor and uneducated people).
Educated people and esp scientists were seen as atheist thus they couldn't be manipulated with their faith, blah blah blah...

I think it was illegal in most of the world, France being a notable exception. This is still evident when you look at the African countries; in former French colonies (non-Islamic) homosexuality is generally legal, but in former British colonies, it is mostly illegal - South Africa excepted. People here who're against the Empire use this as a case against Imperialism, the fact that it's got a 'poisoned' legacy. However, I dont accept this - Great Britain was just as homophobic as our colonies but we've managed to change so I dont see why countries like Uganda and Ghana should try to use it as an excuse - instead of moving towards rights and legality, instead they're moving in the opposite direction and actually thinking up crueller and more horrible punishments. Scott Mills, our commentator for the Eurovision SemiFinals, is gay and he travelled to Uganda on a fact-finding mission for the BBC. The programme was very interesting but also sad, I recommend it to anybody to watch.
And I think Stalin was just an evil man... I do not have time for any of the Soviet dictators except perhaps Gorbachev. I am grateful to Stalin for the fact that he helped us defeat Hitler but that's about it, he took pleasure out of people's misfortune and he would take any reason to discriminate against anybody I think.

Unfortunately Lenin & Stalin murdered/departed almost all scientists and their substitude were uneducated people who thought that they were scientists or "prostitutes" who changed their own principles just to fit that sick ideology. They thought that gays couldn't have kids thus they were useless for society, thus they had to be imprisoned/murdered etc.
Yep, incredible primitivism.

I know what you're saying but did the real scientists of the day really have understanding views anyway? They called us 'ill' until about the 1980's I think and I still think that even in this day scientists just look at things simply, without considering emotions, feelings, etc. I personally distrust science - I think they've always abused their position.

Later gays were blamed in spreading AIDS, even despite 85-92% (!) infected peeps are straight drug addicted and 5% are straight couples who caught it via sex.
In other words communist politicians just search for reasons for this extreme discrimination in order to justify their ideology

Same here - by the time of the AIDS crisis it was legal here but homophobia was widespread. You look at The Sun newspaper, some of their headlines were: “STRAIGHT SEX CANNOT GIVE YOU AIDS – OFFICIAL" "The Poofs of Pop" "EastBenders". It is actually true that in the United Kingdom gay/bi men are the most common group to have HIV/AIDS, but that doesnt justify homophobia, in my view it shows that people need more help and support in order to fight the disease. I think that some gay men use promiscuity as a way of coping with their sexuality, if the government and rest of society just ignores this then the problem will only get worse.

Ukraine and Baltic states suffered from Soviet regime (esp until the 50's) the most. Thus we were the 1st who accepted the difference.
Ukraine was the 1st country that legalized gays, we were the 1st who added a punishment for rape, few months ago we allowed gays and lesbians to register LGBT-themed organizations officially ie. from the juridical point of view they became equal. We even have official homosexual churches, lol.
Of course we have a lot of homophobes still and it will be hard to get rid of that crap but in our case it's possible.
Comparing 1990 and 2011 - it's 2 huge differences.

Exactly, it's been 20 years and the progress has been good. I think much better than the progress we made from 1967 to 1987. Sadly public opinion doesnt develop as fast as we'd like; the legislators have to get the balance right between leading public opinion and following it. From 1997 we got the balance right and that leads to much more public support and in the end, many more rights, than what would have happened otherwise. Now the Conservatives are the one's wanting gay marriage; I never would have thought this possible even only 5/6 years ago, I still find it hard to believe.

Btw, our X-Factor (10ml. viewers per week) judge doesn't hide his orientation.
As well as 1 judge from Dancing for You show. We have openly gay singers and even bands, politicians, TV hosts etc. )))

Celebrities and media are very important in encouraging equal rights and persuading people to be against homophobia. Especially to young people who lets face it are the ones who matter because the older, less accepting, generations are running our countries at present, but they shant be doing in the future.

 

[seb89]

I think it was illegal in most of the world, France being a notable exception.

Hey! Don't forget the little countries: Luxemburg, Monaco, the Netherlands & Belgium .
France is very progressive country when it comes to LBGT-questions imo, but the UMP blocked, blocks and will still block equal rights like mariage and adoption for LGBT-people.

 

[nofuxCZ]

bump

well, I'm quite comfortable with everyone knowing except my family. I've been thinking of telling them these last months but I dunno. What's your experience?

 

[r3gg13]

I never really parade/flaunt/show off my sexuality, but I do think that my parents HAVE to know.

So, I came out to my parents last year, on my birthday; I just told them bluntly that I'm gay. Both my mom and my dad reacted pretty positively. They told me that it's perfectly fine, that nothing has changed in how they see me, and they thanked me for opening up to them. They even asked me when I'd introduce them "my man." (to this day I haven't really introduced anyone, well because there's really no one to introduce ) In general, they're open-minded and non-judgmental about a lot of things, so that made it easier to come out to them.

I'm just so glad I got to come out to my dad before he passed away. At least, he knew that aspect of my life.

I came out to my sister a few months before that. She said she already knew even without me telling her, and she thanked me too for opening up. Oh, she said she can't wait to cockblock me; she's so hilarious

To be honest, it felt so good coming out to my family. I just felt like I was more connected to them, and that I wasn't "hiding" anything from them.

 

[nofuxCZ]

Aww good for you! I don't know why it's so hard for me to tell them, because I don't have any problem telling anyone else xD I know my parents would support me but still...

Anyway, I should not come online and revive years-old threads when I'm drunk

 

[r3gg13]

Aww good for you! I don't know why it's so hard for me to tell them, because I don't have any problem telling anyone else xD I know my parents would support me but still...

Anyway, I should not come online and revive years-old threads when I'm drunk

At the end of the day, you do it for yourself. Do it because you feel like it will make you feel better or it will make the situation between you and your parents better. If you don't feel like you aren't ready, or if circumstances aren't right for you, don't do it. If and when you're ready, do it.

 

[pinkchiffon]

I haven't ever sat someone down and announced my sexuality to them. When I wanted people to know that I wasn't straight, it seemed like I just started making jokes and offhand comments about it whenever it naturally came up / was appropriate, as if I were already "out", and it became so. Maybe part of the reason I did this was because I didn't feel comfortable describing my orientation any particular way for a long time, but even though I can honestly say I'm a lesbian now, that's still the way I prefer to publicly display it. Unfortunately some people expect a "coming out" and will stop a conversation to say "wait, you're GAY? Why didn't you tell me / have you always been gay / are you sure", but when that happens, I try to just make them feel awkward for making a big deal about it, instead of taking it awkwardly myself

I'm thankful that my parents are very accepting and just took it naturally when they noticed that I was gay (which happened gradually, not at any distinct point.) However, they don't like to question me about my life, so recently, I decided to tell my mom how I feel about my identity and what I am actually looking for in relationships, because I knew that she would appreciate knowing those things, but she would never ask That was a little bit like coming out, even though she already knew the less detailed answer.