Yeah this jury vote, man... as if we needed more reason to purge international juries from NFs all over the euroverse.
"Fire" wasn't even that bad lol. This was a very good NF and Yan is my second least favourite by default. If he had won, he would've been a 4, which a mark i reserve to songs i'm mostly meh on. A bad winner amongst this crop and one who would've conformed to the midtempo male-fronted mediocrities that have been clogging up the lower parts of each of our rankings. The last thing this contest needs is another Tom Lame.
Thus, I am absolutely
baffled by the Cantiello Effect that compelled the jury (including William Lee Adams????) to reward anything with a penis (thus, Yan and half of VAL), over the myriad of wonderful, show-stopping trash angels that would've taken ESC by STORM. It's not even that Yan was their fave - he Cesar'd it, simply by being the lowest common (male) denominator out there.
I am less annoyed that the Chakras lost. Ley-la-ley is transcendental ASMR. It is a more accessible 'Pich'. It is not for everyone. But Chilly Pepper was right there, providing us with a banger better than "Me tana" (mhm I went there). The infectuously cheerful "True love" was right there. Hell, even
Anastasia, with her Sandeman-sponsored outfit and melovinese diction ("A measly ball" holy cackles) would've been an iconic rep.
However, disappointing as these results were, I do think the winners were good. VAL were weird in that, in a SF that where everybody absolutely *OUTSOLD* themselves during live performance ("Rocky Road" was good. Like...
what?), "Da vedna" weirdly undersold itself, despite arguably being the best song. I don't blame VAL for this tbh. The composition has legs and there's plenty of time to mold the staging into something more show-stopping.
Tonight's show was a positive shock to many, but there would've been no guarantee that Belarus would have been capable of recreating the same levels of shock and wonder in Rotterdam. Chakras probably would've Conan'd themselves into an unceremonious exit. The juries wouldn't even
need to see the "06. Belarus" chyron to chuck Chilly Pepper into the bin. In the end, Belarus chose for the best song, which as a base is probably the best they can work from.
I harbour no delusions about VAL's chances. I don't think they'll qualify, but I don't think they are chanceless either. At worst, the role they are fulfilling is that of inherently likable, interesting, pleasant death fodder and in a semi as competitive as the first one, their presence is
definitely needed as a tension defuser. It is that role which might endear them to an audience, I think. 'finally something would any built in pressure'. Perhaps I'm wrong and they qualify after all and someone else (Cyprus? Belgium?) is left in the dust instead.
Don't sleep on them. I don't. Neither should you.
I'm sticking with

points.