It's strange to think that a couple of years ago I was playing with the humongous region of Midwest USA. When I was there I held an NF and sent this guy, Elliott Smith. I don't think since that moment have I put more effort, thought into, and have had such an emotional investment with an edition and entry (and you know, i'm a hot wreck 45% of the time). For all the good fortune i've had playing this game (and I know i've been blessed with a lot), that occasion had a really painful ending and left a taste I couldn't get rid of until recently. Forget everything about that entry and all the stuff I might have said about this guy before, and let's start again.
*clears throat* ... ahem.
For WorldVision 93 i'm making good use of this PQ and i'm sharing with you what is one of my favourite songs of all time by an artist that has a very deep place in my heart. Elliott Smith is not really an easy guy to introduce anyone to, as I feel like i'm telling people a secret. One that has to be explained as best as I can, but i'm unsure if people want to hear it or not. It's difficult to speak about him but at the same time I can easily say a lot about Elliott and his music, and the impact the songs and his life story has had on my own life. There are a small handful of songwriters for me who's sadly short lives and the works they put out during their time here, that manage haunt and touch me in such a profound way. There's Nico of the Velvet Underground, there's Judee Sill and then there's Elliott Smith, who's body of work as a whole probably means the most to me (tough call anyway, would have to flip a coin between him and Nico).
Elliott was born Steven Paul Smith in Omaha, Nebraska, 1969. From the get go, things seemed tough for him. Getting straight to the hard point here, It was believed very sadly that Elliott experienced an abusive childhood, suffering at the hands of his stepfather. His trademark whispery vocal style I recall reading was a result of him being around a lot of shouting, and I guess Elliott just felt that loudness wasn't the way to let out his emotions. That unpleasant and really turbulent upbringing would haunt a lot of the music Elliott made throughout his life.
Elliott was playing from a very young age. In 1991 he formed the band Heatmiser. A cool alternative, a lil but grungy kind of sound they had going on, though Elliott later held resentment for the music he made with that band as being too loud and not really him, feeling like he was being someone he wasn't when he was performing their music. It's still good stuff though I think, in the same way Nico's Chelsea Girls album is still a fricking great record despite Nico herself hating it. Artists are their own harshest critics sometimes.
At the same time he was with Heatmiser, Elliott got his solo career rolling. His first two albums
Roman Candle and the self titled
Elliott Smith set down the foundations, beautiful, very raw and lo-fi acoustic albums, but it would be his third album released in 1997 that would leave the biggest footprint, and cement him in place as one of the greatest, quietly celebrated songwriters of a whole generation.
Either/Or is Elliott's masterpiece. This is the Elliott Smith album I hold dearest, and that's saying a lot as I love them all, but this record besides being wonderful, also houses the song that was my introduction to his music, and still to this day remains one of my all time favourite songs.
Between The Bars is that song. A short little thing clocking in at just over two minutes, but those are two minutes that still hurt in strange ways like no other song has for me before or since. All these years later, I still feel the exact same feelings for it. It still brings a tear when it catches me off guard and it gives me longing pangs in chest. The second verse in particular is something.. well I don't even know how to describe it properly. "Drink up baby, look at the stars. I'll kiss you again, between the bars" is probably my single favourite lyric from any song ever. And how that moment arrives as the song in a very subtle way adds another haunting guitar melody behind the main strums that are leading it. It breaks my heart and forever lingers with me. It's a song that carries a weight for me, that perhaps looking in from the outside is a bit more difficult to understand as it's such a short and seemingly simple song. With time that weight has gotten heavier and heavier, and today
Between The Bars is up right at the top, sittings besides two or three other songs that have a special importance to me. A certain something that feels near untouchable by anything else and will never fade.
Like the majority of Elliott's songs, the meaning of
Between The Bars remains a mystery. The lyrics, along with knowing Elliott's life story leaves the song open to multiple interpretations. Some people believe the song is sung from the eyes of alcohol comforting Elliott. Some believe the song cleverly alludes to a person with a drug addiction. Some simply think it's a beautiful love song. For years I always imagined the "between the bars" line in a very literal sense of two people separated kissing between bars, but my mind was blown the other day when I read someone suggesting that it could be between
the bars that people drink at, which also makes sense. The wonderful thing with Elliott songs is the sense of mystery and how your own imagination can be let wild whilst listening to his beautiful poetic lyrics. I tend to zone out when I listen to his music and attach moments to these gentle guitar strums. It brings back very specific memories for me, and often faded ones that I can't quite piece together. I'm uncertain if I first heard Elliott in a dark and a little bit dingy cafe when I was a really young child (I swear I did), but somehow it's something that's there in my head. Whether I did or didn't hear him back then is an uncertainly, but what I do know is that his music properly came into my life thanks to a jazz cover of
Between The Bars by Madeleine Peyroux, released in 2004. I was a full on jazz geek before Elliott's music made it's proper introduction into my life. It opened up a whole new world for me.
After his
Either/Or album, Elliott released a few more records. His later releases were rather lush, with swirling strings and ridiculously catchy hooks. Stuff that could be quite easily put side by side with the best of the Beatles, specifically very John Lennon-esque but totally unique in the way the music was presented. He just had a full on knack for making these eargasmic melodies and making you feel things whatever it was he was singing. The songs were often very complicated compositions melodically but despite the sludgy and at times murky outer shell, Elliott himself had pop sensibilities and made his music often feverishly melodic (try and listen to
Ballad of Big Nothing without singing along). The album
XO was one of Elliott's finest moments from the latter period of his work, and then the gigantic in scope
Figure 8 would be the final record he would be around to see released.
Elliott Smith passed away October the 21st, 2003. Two stab wounds to his chest. Fifteen years later and the case is still open as to whether it was suicide or murder. Both seem plausible and it's painful to have these confused thoughts. It feels like something that will never have proper closure. Elliott struggled with depression, and had drug and drink addictions. Reading into the deeper details of his life is harrowing and a difficult experience. For all the light that was there in his life, there was also darkness. His lyrics didn't shy away from the melancholy, and his tone naturally comes across as somber, though Elliott was adamant that his music wasn't all sad.
"Depressing" isn't a word I would use to describe my music. But there is some sadness in it - there has to be so that the happiness will matter.
I was reading this quote a while ago and it allowed me to see his music in a totally different light. I would always go to his stuff when I was down, but i'm starting to feel this positive sort of warmth. I mean, that warmth was always there and how real and sincere he was is a huge part of my attraction to this mans work, but i'm starting to not just listen to Elliott when i'm panicking or in a wallow. He's not just this sad sack who composed some of the most devastatingly melancholic and beautiful little songs. He also was a light to people that knew him. A very kind and gentle soul who hated being put into boxes. So I won't do that anymore.
Between The Bars has poignancy like no other song for me, but at the moment i'm listening to it and feeling positivity from it. Thanks for listening, reading if you did and allowing me to be so extra and nut job-ish here in this lil greenroom. There's no other way i'd probably send this song, so having it as my pre qualified choice feels so right and is an amazing gift (sorry King Tuff, you'll get your chance at WorldVision soon
and probably come second from last in a semi now). I'm so pleased to finally share this very dear song with you all. Whatever happens, I can have a happier WorldVision memory attached to Elliott now and it brings me a special something inside knowing that everyone was able to listen to someone who's special to me.
You know... it's strange sometimes to think about the power of music.. how people you've never met or will ever physically have contact with can hold such a power over you, and feel like a friend. To me it's a beautiful and wonderful thing. When people are so deeply the music they create, and you choose to listen again and again to what they've made, they become like this part of your existence. You don't know them but
do know them kind of thing. I know if I didn't have Elliott's music i'd be in a worse off place. It's good to have something always to lean back on whenever you need it, and music can be that. I feel like i'm introducing you to a dear friend.
p.s post 15,000 baby!!!! And yes, this timing was intentional and not a coincidence x
I can go and thank people for the nice comments left on the shows now that i've finally finished this post