Every year our “Expert” Panel comes together to judge all entries for the Eurovision Song Contest and they’re back to take apart the 2013 entries and rank them accordingly. While their characters and comments may be wacky, the scores are dead serious. All 13 panelists will comment on the song and rank them accordingly giving it points using a scale from five to zero. At the end you’ll also get to cast your vote in the poll. If you would learn more about the panelists and to discuss the show, join us on our Forum HERE

Let’s have a look at the current scoreboard:

Today the Expert Panel is going to discuss the Serbian entry which is Moje 3 with their song “Ljubav je svuda”.

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NONE

If you girls showed in my class dressed like that, you would be expelled. I feel a bit naughty today, it must be because my bum is moving on this song. Although it seems like a nice song, the whole thing deprives my comfort and enjoyment. Their vocals do not quite work here, except for the girl in the golden dress. I was thinking of giving it a 3, but I said I felt naughty today…

EUROTRASH ALERT EUROTRASH ALERT! This is something for the eyes. Just for the ears it’s less enjoyable although still comical and fun. Why is the chorus woman screaming at us? Rona Nishliu is the only one in this world who can get away with such a stunt.

2013 is the year of less successful copies? The first impression was like listening to a up-tempo version of Feminnem – Lako je sve. Three hot girls who bounce between musical notes in a language which hardly anyone will understand… Weak! Or maybe I have too high expectations (especially from Serbia).

How can Serbia send such a song after a row of successful entries? It’s a question for me. I don’t think it’s a good idea to present a cheap pop-dance song of a girl-band, which is not interesting at all. I dislike the way they acting at the stage, their appearance, the live vocals and their union as a group. I had a feeling each of them is singing on their own, the song itself is very ordinary, without any spice. Totally forgettable entry!

I don’t know…..what…..this is just…..I’m confused. What is this? I mean seriously…..whatever.

Moje 3, I already have a 3, it was my song in 2009, it was 1 in all records in this universe. The 3 girls, Mirna, Sara and Nevena are much more beautiful than me, sing better than me, but have WORSE song than me. This is worse than my worst rejected song ever. Who’s bright idea was it to make a trio that sound like they’re competing against each other? Singing nothing but wild screams as if being tortured by listening to my wonderful musical creations. Horrible. Only Mirna’s voice saved the score of this entry.
Now that’s more like it! I want their numbers pronto! Whocares about the song when you have these 3 charming looking ladies? Having saidthat, it’s a catchy tune… however, we’ve had this type of girl band before(Feminnem anyone?!) and they don’t seem to do as well in Eurovision. With notas many straight blokes watching this as gay ones, I’m not sure this will getthe vote. They really need to up their games if they are to wear tacky dresses(but hot for me!) like the ones they’ve got on in the preview video. They’dlook better on my bedroom floor! Even though I’m a fan (guilty pleasure) I’mgiving this a 2.

Ok this is not a false alarm like that awful Romanian man, please call an ambulance! There are three injured Serbian girls here screaming in pain, I think there is blood everywhere, they are saying “JAAAAAAA, MOJA KRV JE SVUDA!!” Please help, I’m so sorry you fell on my swordfish I was preparing!

Oh, Serbia. Good grief. One of the best countries for Eurovision entries has selected this sewage as their entry. They had options, but they went for this generic pop song by a girl group that for the most part couldn’t hit a high note with a frying pan. The song loses track of where It’s going, because It tries little ethnic elements and is also in Serbian, but comes across as a rejected Girls Aloud track. Serbia’s practically guaranteed place in the final each year is in serious jeopardy, as is Cipela’s title of worst Serbian song.

Serbia, are you kidding me? What is this? These girls forgot to have speech training exercises and decided to have them in the middle of the song? And not only once, they have it twice in each chorus! Min Gud! The composer of this song should have very big inspiration to come up with this result!

Is this a song or a group of 3 girls acting very disturbing?

This is among the worst songs I’ve heard so far. I wanna rather than listening to this go and drink in a bar. This feels completely pointless to me. Like hearing the wind are more interesting than this, please let me flea!!

Liz: Oh, Eau, look what my husband brought with him from his work visit in Serbia! He got a gift box filled with little games like puzzles, to keep you busy.
Eau: Hmm, puzzles? What kind of puzzles?
Liz: Crossword puzzles and such. Look, like this one. They have such interesting questions. Like this one: what’s the name of the artist that represents Serbia at Eurovision in 2013? Nine letters.
Eau: That would be Moje three.
Liz: I think … that’s correct. OK, next question. Of which music genre will the Serbia entry of 2013 be? It should (to be continued)