Every year our “Expert” Panel comes together to judge all entries for the Eurovision Song Contest and they’re back to take apart the 2013 entries and rank them accordingly. While their characters and comments may be wacky, the scores are dead serious. All 13 panelists will comment on the song and rank them accordingly giving it points using a scale from five to zero. At the end you’ll also get to cast your vote in the poll. If you would learn more about the panelists and to discuss the show, join us on our Forum HERE

Let’s have a look at the current scoreboard:

Next up is Latvia which will be represented by PeR with their song “Here we go”. What does the Panel has to say?

[vsw id=”P4lwr-zMSnM” source=”youtube” width=”425″ height=”344″ autoplay=”yes”]

Nice attempt from Latvia this year. It’s fresh comparing with a huge plenty of ballads, but something is really missing. Also these guys reminds me last year’s Belarus representatives. The rap part ruined the whole concept of the song.

Here we go Latvia, another fail. The song starts pretty nice, but as it progresses it gets weaker. And that performance looks like something that has been seen before and stayed in the semi-final. I think it would be better if they would wore my robes, instead of those silly sparkly outfits. You always get noticed when you wear robes. Those glittery outfits would fit Glittery Bob, and he surely is missing a shirt.

Are you sure this is a song for this year’s Eurovision, and not for 2002? I double checked and it’s indeed from this year. Well, the song is dated as my grandma’s jewelry but at least it’s listenable.

Latvia continuing their tradition of sending songs that just scream “I want to stay in the semi”. This sounds like something they recorded in their bedroom.. not that there is anything wrong with home recording. I myself a dabble in the art of home recording. I lean more towards the lofi experimental, avant-garde side of things. This is trash. Maybe quite enjoyable trash? But it’s TRASH.

That Young’un must wear an t shirt under that jacket as it was very disgusting like that strange ol’ bloke Glittery Bob and they cant sing at all!

I don’t like it. It’s got a bad rhythm, the singer is too loud, and the message is very vague! Where are we going? How are we going there? Who is this we you’re talking about? I want answers! If I wanted questionable and suspect things I would eat my ratatouille. I can never tell if you’re supposed to put real rats in it…

This some kind of mixture between rap, rock and a little bit of disco music it sounds in my head like children screams’ in my head when they loose their teeth. It sounds at least strange, but it could be worst, let’s face it.

This song is not worth any comment apart from the fact thatit won’t qualify. See you next year Latvia.

How do you review this? The voters were clearly on the same drugs as PeR were during this song. They throw the kitchen sink at this. It’s kind of an anthemic rap number. It screams 90’s, but not in a good way. It’s dated, the singing is atrocious and the whole thing sounds like a jamming session. Plus they make really weird noises near the end which freak me out. You see, I don’t get out of my mansion much. I predict this stays in the semi and goes down as yet another awful Latvian entry.

And I thought I was the dumb one , thank you PeR for making me look like a genius.

Here we go, here we go, we stay in the semi. This is a good match. They have a cheap song with bad delivery. I cannot find anything good from the musical side, it all sounds like a big mess to me. Bigger mess are the singers. They sound like the most amateur rejects of X Faktor that I judged.

Eau: I feel so insulted that we’re even just asked what we think of this entry. Oh dear. These 3 little glittery creatures produce noise that’s supposed to be singing? Fortunately I don’t have any royal relatives in Latvia. It would be utterly embarrassing to our family.
Liz: I didn’t know they had this kind of music in Latvia to be honest. Maybe they’re just a little bit behind when it comes to imitating American pop culture.
Eau: Good gracious Liz, they’re not even trying to copy. It’s a poor attempt… (to be continued)

This is what I don’t wanna hear in this contest. It feels very pointless and makes me only more stressed. I leave this to the others. The ones that should have Arelearned what good music taste is from their mothers…