Every year our “Expert” Panel comes together to judge all entries for the Eurovision Song Contest and they’re back to take apart the 2013 entries and rank them accordingly. While their characters and comments may be wacky, the scores are dead serious. All 13 panelists will comment on the song and rank them accordingly giving it points using a scale from five to zero. At the end you’ll also get to cast your vote in the poll. If you would learn more about the panelists and to discuss the show, join us on our Forum HERE

Let’s have a look at the current scoreboard:

Next up is Farid Mammadov’s entry “Hold me” from Azerbaijan. What does the panel has to say about this song?

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I really like this song. Though I preferred to hear something up-tempo from Azerbaijan this year, “Hold Me” impressed me a lot. This product is very appropriate for the singer Farid Mammadov. Composition suits his voice and energy on the stage. The guy is good enough in live singing, which rises the value of the song. Romantic lyrics seems like to be felt by singer and he can show the whole atmosphere of the song to public. Plus the guy has a very good looking

Am I crazy if I think that this guy is hot?! Ohhh…but also the song isn’t bad either… Maybe it will be a top 10 for Azerbaijan this year?

I hate the fact that Azerbaijan for another year will not sing a single word in Azeri. The song is ok, but nothing original or amazing. And again a foreign production from Azerbaijan. A Greek composed it, and two Swedes wrote the lyrics. I can understand why a Greek would like to write a song for Azerbaijan, with all this crisis he must make a living and in Azerbaijan they have enough money, but I can’t understand why these two Swedes wanted to do the same. Don’t we have enough jobs in Sweden guys?

I really like the lyrics and the guy that sings feels competent, but it lacks. At times this feels as exciting as getting a fax. But the chorus is really nice, makes me think of Enrique Iglesias. This song needs to win to be more spontaneous.

Farid wears a blazer well – I’ll give him that! This song,however, is a little boring until the livelier part…I’m sure there will beplenty of hot woman who wouldn’t mind holding him! There is a decent key changeand this lifts the song entirely. If they change the start, this could do verywell indeed. It’s one of those songs that lurks in the background and thereforeis a dark horse. I respect him for his decent dress code but I’m a littleworried that he may take the spotlight away from me – there’s only enough roomfor one hot guy!
Another good entry from this country.It’s a strong ballad with feeling. The chorus, while good, has a massive whiff of Johnny Logan. It’s very catchy though. The interlude between chorus and second verse is excellent. Later, we have some rock elements and OF COURSE, we must have the key change for the final chorus. This is a technically very good song, and a strong singer. Once again, expect Azerbaijan to do well in the contest.

Hold Me? Ahh, Johnny Logan is back! And he’s gotten a lot better looking! Oh this is someone else? Even better! The song is not too good, as it reminds me of giving the heimlich maneouvre in my old restaurants, but apart from that it’s ok. At least it’s not Eldar!

I passed a kidney stone trying to pronounce the name of the country. The song is more forgettable than a Julia Roberts movie. Everything about “Hold me” is average and since nothing makes it stand out, it’s overall below average.

Either he is out of tune or my ears not working!

I do not hold anyone. Let this be clear to all of you, even you princess Emma. Lucius should take a note on this, as this is better than his dirge. To be fair, this sounds like something Dima Bilan would sing and with that thought alone – I feel empty and disrobed. He seems like a good vocalist, but this is quite average and not something I would prefer.

Farid is from the land of fire, he is made out of fire. His voice releases all the tensions built up in your body, you stare into you his deep deep eyes and it talks to you in a language that is love. You fall in love with the singer, his voice and the song. Then, you wake up into reality, you realize he is mostly looks and less substance.

I have a beef with the country of Azerbaijan. When I was dere last yeeeear, they a rip me off with the prices of their coffee. I gave them piece of my mind at the airport and told them “@%$% you”. I must put that behind me whilst evaluating this a song. Hmmmm well it’s ok. Very old fashion. Certainly no fresh like a Ralph Siegel composition. The music is enjoyable however, his voice ok. Reminds me of something I can’t quite put my wing tip on.

Eau: Oh dear. It’s the Azeri entry. Can you guess what type of song it is and how it sounds, Liz?
Liz. Oh…the Azeri entry… I guess it probably sounds like a generic midtempo pop ballad with airy echoes, made with Swedish precision…am I right?
Eau: That is absolutely correct, Liz. But it wasn’t such a difficult guess was it? Just like the last two years they send a Swedish produced middle of the road ballad that has just the right ingredients to please the masses. (to be continued)