I am hopping on the bandwagon and PED is upon us

[lavieenrose]

So a few other folks have created this iconic bandwagon, and I, as someone who will NEVER turn down an opportunity for vanity re: my musical taste and as a person who recently completed the top fourth-ish of a 2010s ranking, have decided to hop on this iconic bandwagon. With that (in spoiler because the next section is gigantic and, appropriately for a ranking by me, obnoxious):

WELCYUM TO MY

TOP

ONE HUNDRED

AND ONE

ONE MORE TIME

MINUS ONE

(Minus One, by the way, are Sirs Not Appearing On This Countdown. Sorry.)
ESK SINGS OF THE 2010S

"Woo yay" - Someone in the back I hope
"UM ACKSHULLY the 2010s began in 2011 and there's still one more year of the 2010s and didn't you start following the contest in 2011 so wouldn't it be both more accurate and more emotionally resonant for you to wait until next year to do this?" - Someone whose opinion is probably correct but unimportant

In all seriousness, I have loved this contest and kind of let it consume my life for pretty much this decade, and I wanted to do a tribute of some variety to the entries from this last decade I hold the dearest and, in its own way, to the friends I've made here who've challenged me to think differently about Eurovision's cavalcade of songs and supported me in the oddest and most conventional of those thoughts; this list would've looked a lot different if I didn't have y'all to talk through entries with!

With that, let's get ranking! I am at least self-aware enough to know not to give each song its own gosh darn post, so I shall endeavor to have the first one up with #101-#99 in the next couple days at the latest.​

 

[Ana Raquel]

yay here for this cezar appreciation topic

 

[Alaska49]

YASSSSSSSS

also decades begin with the 0 year and end with the 9 year and that is final!!!!!!

 

[sivso]

Good luck Vilija

 

[lavieenrose]

Let's get started, shall we?

#101

#101: NORWAY 2019 - KEiiNO - Spirit in the Sky

Truly a miracle that this song made it onto the list, given where I was on it at first, so let me tell you a little bit about the journey which brings us here. When the song was first released, the miracle was that I found it tolerable, given that while I have a high tolerance for camp, my tolerance for cheese is actually quite low, and boy was this ever cheese. But first impressions can be quite deceiving, especially, as we’ll learn, my own.

This was my soon-to-be husbando’s[SUP]1[/SUP] favorite of the year, and while his adoranerves at this song not qualifying[SUP]2[/SUP] leading up to the semi didn’t hurt, they weren’t what really got me on board. When I REALLY started to turn in its favor was after the semifinal performance. All three of them were genuinely flawless, including and especially a lyrical mishap from which they recovered in superbly professional fashion. All three of them were Natalie Portman at the end of Black Swan levels of uncannily perfect. It was still a little bit of cheese, but god damn, was it ever high cheese. Piave, burrata, Tillamook extra sharp cheddar,[SUP]3[/SUP] all of you move the fuck over. This is my new pick for best cheese ever.

Then came final night, where I, when faced with the need to describe the song to a parental unit following along with an even lower tolerance for cheese than I and a far less burning flame of love for camp, said the following:

“Maybe the most Eurovision song of the night. It has EVERYTHING: folk traditions getting sold out, a beat straight out of both 1992 and 2009, preening to the camera, a slightly over the hill performer, lyrical incoherence…”

"Preen!!!!" -My dad upon seeing the final's even more extreme version​

And I realized that I love just about every single one of those things. How, truly, could I do anything but fully embrace this song?

Oh, yeah, and this song WON the televote. Results slays at Eurovision can often make feelings more extreme,[SUP]4[/SUP] and in this case, they kind of did, too. It made me unspeakably happy to know that in 2019, a song like this can not only be allowed, but be embraced as thoroughly as this one was. All of this gets it a most unlikely spot on my countdown in Position #101.

[SUP]1[/SUP] Actually realistic self-goal: finish this list while he’s still my STBH
[SUP]2[/SUP] LOL this was never realistically missing
[SUP]3[/SUP] You’re welcome for embedding my ranking of the three best cheeses into one post here instead of starting a topic just for that too.
[SUP]4[/SUP] Would “Running Scared” still be my least favorite entry ever if it didn’t win? Maybe?

#100

#100: BOSNIA & HERZEGOVINA 2019 - Maya Sar - Korake Ti Znam

Our first “conventionally orchestrated non-English ballad!” There will be more, I promise.[SUP]5[/SUP]

What really draws me to this song and elevate it into my heart are its special little moments of fragility. There are so many which transcend “Korake ti znam” beyond what could have come off as “easy listening” and pat and make my ears perk up. Three of the very best:
3) The run at 1:47. I love a good string of low notes, and Maya’s stand out here because they’re both very fragile and strangely heavy-sounding. The textures. The layers. I love it.
2) 0:27, when she changes from one melody to another and lets out a remarkably delicate “i sve,” trailing off beautifully. Remember this moment; we will come back to it.
1) When the strings swell around 1:22. It so could’ve easily been melodramatic but comes off only as celestial in the delicate hands of the song’s production.

The language also helps. I will go to my grave insisting that unvoiced consonants are the most beautiful sounds on earth, and there are some great ones which Maya chews the absolute shit out of. She picks such great “k”s and “t”s and “s”es to emphasize, another one of the subtle gifts the song grants me as a listener.

Let it as well not go unnoticed that some of the shots in this entry’s performance are incredible. Not necessarily flashy but still fabulous and evocative. The shot at 0:27 with the sequence (h/t Roxxxy Andrews) from her dress seeming to melt off the piano in the same way her voice does is a personal favorite.

Opulennnnnce. Maya Sar’s cameraman. Slays. Everythinnnng.​

Now, the last minute-ish. Am I aware it happened? Yes. Would this be top 50 at least without it? Yes. Why Maya Sar left the piano will remain one of life’s greatest mysteries. That’s the last we’ll say about all that. EXCEPT that it doesn’t exactly grant a spot on American radio to a song which already had no place there. It’s just for Eurovision. And, as you know just from the songs on this post, there’s nothing I love more.


[SUP]5[/SUP] And also one on my decade-wide bottom 10! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ooo6GvZNLhI

#99

#99: AUSTRALIA 2019 - Kate Miller-Heidke - Zero Gravity

The song was always there. Not place-on-this countdown there, but still, pretty good. It would take a ton for me not to take opera-schlager when it’s on offer; what a special genre this contest blesses us with in that. Not to mention that it was Australia’s best effort ever and their first time reflecting why they wanted to be a part of Eurovision for 30 years rather than how to come top 5 once they get there.[SUP]6[/SUP]

Let’s talk about how Australia solved this conundrum I posed soon after it was revealed:

I think the problem is Kate herself. I don't think she quite has the "GOD damn it, I am HERE" confidence of past Eurovision opera divas. She's among the most talented performers this year but isn't ready for opera schlager primetime. She kind of performs like she's in her own little world…I hope she goes on the promotional tour circuit and realizes that when there's a crowd of homosexells and ppl hu cam in by acsident [sic]…there’s a lot of energy she can feed off of and work. Maybe I'd be able to connect with it more once she figures that out.

The best stagings at Eurovision are those which celebrate what is celebrable[SUP]7[/SUP] about a song and performer and justify the potentially off-putting choices they make instead of hiding them.[SUP]8[/SUP] And Australia staged this entry legendarily well. Of course Kate was distant and not really connected to the audience: she was literally hovering around space. And it was awe-inspiring to see how well they made it look like she was. In short, Australia solved this conundrum by telling me to go fuck myself. I truly can’t do anything but applaud such nerve.

AND THEN THEY SHATTERED THE ILLUSION BY SHOWING THE POLE SHE WAS BALANCING ON. And boy am I glad they did. Because that left me even more awestruck. How on earth was she hitting those notes suspended and flinging herself around? This list will not be a countdown of the most vocally impressive entries ever seen at Eurovision, rest assured, but just this once, it’s worth noting that the chops Kate displayed by managing to deliver the song as she did in the position she did were pretty effing superb. It left me floored. Stunned. What a performance.

Our (literal) overlord.​

[SUP]6[/SUP] “Australia need to start reflecting why they wanted to be a part of Eurovision for 30 years rather than how to come top 5 once they get there” is my version of Gags’ “hundred people in a room” spiel.
[SUP]7[/SUP] Yes, this IS a word! I know, I was as shocked as you are.
[SUP]8[/SUP] We’ll get to Midnight Gold much later on this countdown, but see also: Midnight Gold

 

[Alaska49]

notes:
- we need a "CHEESE: NOTES ON FASHION"-themed met gala so i can better understand the difference between cheese and camp
- if you remind me way too much of my singlehood i will chop your fingers off but like with love or something
- my three favourite cheeses are just danbo, parmesan and minas cheese, the most common non-mozzarella cheeses in brazil; my pitifully low brow taste for cheese is both literal and figurative
- oh yeah spirit in the sky fucking slaps lol
- korake ti znam, on the other hand? not even a so much a poke in the back for me lol i do love when people write about songs i don't really care much about because it gets me paying more attention than i usually would but it's just not my thing
- not to leave you hanging though, et uus saaks alguse is not really my thing either; i did click that link eagerly expecting it to be a zeljko joksimovic composition however and was disappointed
- i am not sure i can deal with very many rupaul's drag race references for that show will destroy the gay community faster than you can sing the lyrics of look away, but as a good friend i will try my best
- zero gravity is at least 90 spots too low and you are cancelled!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- how would they not show kate's pole? just like a technical question because i don't think it would be possible even in optimal conditions let alone in the [gif of spongebob's brain on fire] that was KAN's hosting

your write-ups are incredible and i demand many more of them

 

[sivso]

love the writeups ^_^

 

[lavieenrose]

notes:
- we need a "CHEESE: NOTES ON FASHION"-themed met gala so i can better understand the difference between cheese and camp
- if you remind me way too much of my singlehood i will chop your fingers off but like with love or something
- my three favourite cheeses are just danbo, parmesan and minas cheese, the most common non-mozzarella cheeses in brazil; my pitifully low brow taste for cheese is both literal and figurative
- oh yeah spirit in the sky fucking slaps lol
- korake ti znam, on the other hand? not even a so much a poke in the back for me lol i do love when people write about songs i don't really care much about because it gets me paying more attention than i usually would but it's just not my thing
- not to leave you hanging though, et uus saaks alguse is not really my thing either; i did click that link eagerly expecting it to be a zeljko joksimovic composition however and was disappointed
- i am not sure i can deal with very many rupaul's drag race references for that show will destroy the gay community faster than you can sing the lyrics of look away, but as a good friend i will try my best
- zero gravity is at least 90 spots too low and you are cancelled!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- how would they not show kate's pole? just like a technical question because i don't think it would be possible even in optimal conditions let alone in the [gif of spongebob's brain on fire] that was KAN's hosting

your write-ups are incredible and i demand many more of them

I would like to put your notes in a book and put it on my coffee table. As for the last one, there are plenty of shots once they're moving around where it's just the torso-up. They could've just used those (but, again, glad they didn't). Onward and upward!

#98

#98: France 2013 - Amandine Bourgeois - L'enfer et moi

Okay, fine, the orchestrations are a bit too every-song-on-Alt-Nation-in-2013. But there’s one secret weapon this song has which brings it onto this list. This song is here on the back of Amandine Bourgeois, who is a noted force.

The studio version was our first preview of the many versions of Amandine Bourgeois to which we were going to be exposed. This first one may not be the best we’d get, but it showed promise for sure. Just listen to the way she slithers around the notes, especially when she has room to sustain - see for best example the very beginning of the first chorus when she goes into head voice; it all just sounds so cool. This is nicely echoed in the way she slithers around the Clue mansion they got her for the music video.

This woman is clearly no stranger to FLAMES…ON THE SIDE OF HER FACE…​

Even when her vocal goes bigger at the end, the studio version gives this song a little bit of unctuousness, and the almost frightening levels of anger ebited in the live performance at the end of the song are at most nicely packaged with a cool lil vocal effect.

Then came the final performance, and, luckily for fans of laugh-away-from-a-tear contraltos with endless streams of bitterness such as yours truly, it all kind of veered, including Amandine herself. Especially in the final minute of the song, she took to whipping her hair, mic stand, and self around the Malmö stage as frenetically as she possibly could, not to mention singing with as much passion, anger, and desperation in her voice as she (or anyone) could possibly muster. It is not the most vocally impressive performance ever given at Eurovision.[SUP]1[/SUP] Nor does it offer the same experience the smooth and mysterious studio version does - there is no sense of restraint ebited here by noted force Amandine Bourgeois, and what was in the song’s studio rendition a fairly minimal climax became a damn explosive one. But it is one of the very rawest Eurovision has ever had, and, through that, oddly one of its most sincere. And I can hardly object to that.

[SUP]1[/SUP] Told y’all this wouldn’t just list those!

#97

#97: Portugal 2018 - Claudia Pascoal & Isaura - O Jardim

While I write these, I have the song that I’m writing about on repeat, and as I was writing, it became clear to me how difficult “O Jardim” is to sit through. I don’t mean in the “Arcade” way. It stops me and makes me work on it and it alone. Once I found out what the lyrics were, I could hardly listen to it and think of anything else. And the lyrics to this song are quite a heavy thought.

Perhaps now is a good time to clarify my policy on lyrics. I penalize bad lyrics that I’m asked to take seriously[SUP]2[/SUP] and do reward ones I find particularly touching or enjoyable and are communicated well musically. And while “the lyrics to ‘O Jardim’ are particularly touching” is not a super original take, it’s one I embrace wholeheartedly.

It took me a while to get behind that pumping percussion they chose to pair the lyrics with (I worried that it made me feel a little empty), but it is an unexpected and opaque choice. And boy oh boy does “unexpected and opaque” spark joy in me. My armchair English major interpretation is that it’s meant to signify that time is still passing but the emotional journey is complete, so the emptiness is intentional and justified, until the end when the percussion goes away and the emotional journey restarts.

Unfortunately, that same feeling of (highly poignant) emotional emptiness made it doomed at Eurovision to an extent that I should’ve seen coming, but at least we had it around for three minutes. It came, it reached me in graceful fashion, and it departed.

Claudia and Isaura themselves are great vehicles for the story as well. Claudia, especially at the final, guided us through the story of the song in a way that at the very least reached me (and formed the basis for my interpretation).

This just about finishes me.​

What exactly Isaura’s role is here I’m still not sure. Maybe it’s two different vocal tellings of the same story. But, again, unexpected and opaque. Thank you, Portugal. To many more years of making me wonder what you’re going for.

[SUP]2[/SUP] This is an incredibly small group and a rule I will break, as you will find.

#96

#96: Armenia 2016 - Iveta Mukuchyan - LoveWave

Ahoy hoy. It’s me. New look habba zarbun, I know it might sound strange, but suddenly, I’m not the same I used to be. It’s like I stepped out of space and time and…COME ALIVE.

Things I have time for, a list:
1) Campy spoken word sections
2) That is all

Studio “LoveWave” post-campy spoken word section is good but not great THAT’S NOT WHY ANY OF US ARE HERE LET’S BE REAL

The semifinal performance of “LoveWave” is unbelievable, every bit as good as its hype suggests.

Confession: during rehearsals for “LoveWave,” I was skeptical. The in-hall rehearsal angles were not as good as the hype suggested, nor was the in-hall sound. But there were some things I wasn’t expecting.

First off, the Stockholm sound mixer made every damn part of the song sound fucking great. The qamancha[SUP]3[/SUP] solo stood out in particular, knocking me out of my seat in the semifinal and keeping my attention even as the song transitioned from a campy spoken word section the song celebrated and elevated once it got to Stockholm.

Second off, Raven.[SUP]4[/SUP]

Third off, it’s hard to communicate exactly how many shots there are in the song and how quickly the camera moves and how brilliant the effects looked through words alone. Because when you put “87,356 camera cuts” onstage, it’s a helluva lot more impressive and frenetic than it sounds. Iveta disappears, reappears, moves, replicates, truly does it all over the course of the song, and more importantly, every movement was justified within the song, reinforcing the gifts it had rather than distracting from them.

Where’s Iveta?, coming soon to a children’s bookstore near you​

It looked every bit as phenomenal as I was told it would. I didn’t trust the rehearsal coverage. Clearly, I should have.

Simply put, “LoveWave” did things I never thought it could do. I hope I’ve made clear that there are a lot of ways to deliver on the Eurovision stage and receive my plaudits, but that is one of them.

[SUP]3[/SUP] I think? I didn’t go to school for Armenian musicology
[SUP]4[/SUP] Sorry, [MENTION=12489]Alaska49[/MENTION] - I’m TRYING to cut down.

 

[BorisBubbles]

Liking Korake Ti Snore but hating the literal adorableness of Et Uus Saaks Alguse is NOT an acceptable choice. At all.

I like the other choices though. There's definitely an abundance for emotional introvertedness and that's nice to see. LoveWave was robbed by :checks notes: at least 92 spots tho :-)

 

[Alaska49]

more notes!!
- amandine SLAYS. she had no staging and i didn't even care. sold it sold it sold it. deserved more than she got, both in staging and in points. imagine if they sent it this year, both in current led screen staging standards and current "france actually gives a fuck now" standards. TOP 10 PLEASE AND THANK YOU.
- i never thought you'd just put a bunch of vocally impressive performances here. that's boring. you're not boring. or *too* boring, everyone is allowed to be a some amount of boring by the FDA i think.
- lol pahr duncan laurence. i am so fine with his victory. he is very emmelie de forest. a very nice human, with a very nice song, with very nice staging, that not once challenged my brain and never will in a million years, but sometimes that's fine. sometimes it's what i need.
- i do understand and respect your right to resent it though, and i would understand it even if it was 100% because of his fans. i did pretty much just declare rupaul's drag race to be trash because of the fans lol.
- anyway CLÁUDIA!!!! i love her so much. it's tragic that she achieved the rare feat of downgrading her staging from the NF to eurovision, which ended up getting her last place, but the song is beautiful and the lyrics hit so hard. when isaura turns her chair around in the NF, i feel the impact like a gunshot.
- two posts in and my probable top 2 of the decade is already out. BYE. lovewave is my religion. loved it from the day the song was released and didn't even think it could get better but it did. strong contender for favourite entry ever (shortlist: lovewave, sanomi, rendez-vous, le dernier qui a parlè, sokrati).
- AND you added a rpdr reference in HER write-up. you HATE me. 1
- i do agree the semifinal performance is the canonical one, though. the grand final one was still great but just a bit off, just a bit less iconic. it is the semifinal one that leaves me bald every single time. she has that in common with kate this year!

 

[lavieenrose]

:checks notes:

HOIST UPON MY OWN PETARD

abundance for emotional introvertedness

Oh there will be more where that came from!

- lol pahr duncan laurence.

Hehe, I wasn't even thinking of him. I was thinking, like, Freddie. But yes, now that you bring it up, also "Arcade."

 

[Alaska49]

Hehe, I wasn't even thinking of him. I was thinking, like, Freddie. But yes, now that you bring it up, also "Arcade."

i was going to say that the whole point of literal arcades is to be difficult to sit through and make you pissed off, but then again, what would eurovision if not that? the jury in particular is basically there to eat all of your coins and run you off the place crying.

 

[lavieenrose]

#95

#95: UK 2017 - Lucie Jones - Never Give Up On You

Stupid Bold prediction time: a ballad cull in the semis is almost inevitable. Given that, I'm starting to think the UK…will stand out a lot more in a final field…but Lucie gets a fast track from the semis and won't have to worry about surviving the ballad cull. Thus, I think…Lucie might be headed for at LEAST top 20.

HOORAY FOR ONE OF MY ONLY ACCURATE PREDICTIONS

Okay, I won’t pretend it happened like I expected.[SUP]1[/SUP] But when this song was released, I kind of couldn’t believe that the UK let it slip through a usually very vacuum-packed national final. I didn’t have to aspire for “least awful” like I had the previous year; here was Lucie Jones existing with an actually good entry and a pretty compelling performance!

The easiest way to tell me and [MENTION=9441]RainyWoods[/MENTION] apart is that I love a musical theatre voice, and by god did Lucie and her weird belty sincerity have one on full display, and the melody to the song moved in a way that really had some potential if it was delivered convincingly, which, as we know, the UK LOVE doing at Eurovision.

THEN they revamped it into something completely different and roughly equally good! While contemporaneously savaged, I actually thought the revamp was at worst a wash and at best a slight improvement, adding a little bit of a rollercoaster to the song's build.

This entry made the cut here, though, in no small part because the BBC did something they hadn't done in years and haven’t done since, namely, stage their entry in an eye-popping way which enhanced what worked about the song and turned its build into something authoritatively fab to hear and see unfold.

Remember the forum shit-losing when this part of the performance got released?​

The UK can always, if not exactly fight for the win, leave with a song and performance worth being proud of every year. No, I do NOT think that means that the UK has to take it “SERIOUSLY!!!1!” every year. But no matter the mood they set, when they give their song a little bit of love and pick a song that deserves it, the UK can figure themselves out. Perhaps that is the most frustrating part of the UK's already Eurovision-wide worst Esk discourse.[SUP]2[/SUP]

[SUP]1[/SUP] Or like I didn’t also later say this would outperform and LOL
[SUP]2[/SUP] Maybe Spain?

#94

#94: Switzerland 2018 - ZibbZ - Stones

Quite a few revamps suck. From “Home” to “Requiem” to “Amanecer” to “Përrallë Fairytale,” there are no shortage of entries who’ve missed a spot here because of a bad one.

When Switzerland chose “Stones” from what was a typically pat national final, the first thought I had was that it could maybe turn into something with a superb revamp but that it was, as it was presented at the national final, very typically “Switzerland at Eurovision,” which is to say almost uncannily uninteresting.

“*Roughly 3 years of silence*[SUP]3[/SUP] *2 chords* Wild joker on a gold throne *Roughly 3 more years of silence*”

And my ears are perked.

Post-revamp “Stones” is MASSIVE. Just about every choice which came across as dull in the original caught my attention in the revamp. To borrow a turn of phrase from Todd in the Shadows, this is a song to load ammo to. I just about lose my shit every time Corrine unleashes the “STOOOOOONES” note into the final chorus. A textbook case in how to deliver a revamp which enhances the original in every conceivable way while also staying true to the spirit of the entry. Best Eurovision revamp ever.[SUP]4[/SUP]

ZibbZ then managed to channel their seemingly newfound epicness into their performance as well. The spark effects were really well done I actually thought, the vocal was absolutely there (some pre-parties suggested she wouldn’t do aforementioned big note, but she did, and it was stellar), and there was a ton of the energy present in the revamp and absent from the original. The Semi 1 results in 2018 were so WTF that I hardly had time to process “Stones” missing, but I absolutely thought they’d done enough to qualify. This was a robbery.

[insert that entire monologue about being hurt here]​

In a genre full of songs which are easy to ignore, ZibbZ managed to find a way to make themselves command attention and sound impressive. No easy feat.

(Fun detail with a h/t to [MENTION=13476]Gabe[/MENTION]: Corinne apparently trashed the greenroom after this NQed; usually I hate results temper tantrums because Esk is fun but this one only makes me like this more.)

[SUP]3[/SUP] Offer may not apply to Eurovision performance.
[SUP]4[/SUP] I know I’m breaking some hearts here, but the other candidate you’re thinking of will be coming much later.

#93

#93: Norway 2012 - Tooji - Stay

“I hate Calvin.”
- [MENTION=9441]RainyWoods[/MENTION] after I found a comment expressing that he liked this entry from seven years ago

Make no mistake: I am fully aware of the shittasticness on display here. But the entry’s aforementioned shittasticness is so charming that I truly cannot do anything but embrace it it. The three minutes “Stay” gets are filled with so much that I’m breaking my standing one-gif-per-entry pattern. Perhaps the best example of this is its intro, which gives Tooji a really powerful introduction. Because Tooji is Tooji, the image he projects fails to land the moment he begins to sing and reveal his glorious fail self. But boy do I love a glorious fail self, and he charms the crap out of me personally. He’s like a Maltese NF participant in this regard.[SUP]5[/SUP]

Yasss strut, be distant, be seductive, be powerful

…sure.

I will love you, a woman, forever[SUP]6[/SUP]​

Let me be clear: my love for Tooji is ironic, but “Stay” just as a song delivers in a far more genuine way. The song is incredibly catchy, and Tooji’s failure to deliver on the grandeur it promises from the jump can only happen because that grandeur is there. It promises so much. Then Tooji delivers so captivatingly little. What an idea. The song had to be genuinely good, and it is.

Plus, more cries of “you better WERQ!” in dance songs, please. Speaking of bad, out-of-place lyrics that don’t ask me to take them seriously.

This is Norway’s second appearance on the countdown, and poetically, they’re both here for the same reason: because they deliver something that truly would not fly outside of Eurovision. Male popstars pretty universally roll my eyes to the back of my head because they’re so done up and slick, but here’s Tooji, getting a song which delivers so much and just trying his best.[SUP]7[/SUP] It’s an adorable entry from a song that could never be presented as “adorable” outside “the bubble.”[SUP]8[/SUP]

[SUP]5[/SUP] More on Maltese NF participants later.
[SUP]6[/SUP] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HVH_I04ZrM
[SUP]7[/SUP] MAYBE this still would’ve been here if he were done-up and slick. I probably would’ve used the words “guilty pleasure” a hundred times.
[SUP]8[/SUP] A note about this writeup: it’s the one thus far which flowed out of me in the least time. Take of that what you will.

 

[Alaska49]

- i don't remember the original version of lucie's song at all and i don't remember thinking the revamp was that different back then lol. is that weird? i do usually think people freak out too much over revamps but still. anyway this was a good entry and one of the very few times the televote let me down this decade.
- spain is still definitely worse than the uk lest we forget the emotional traumas we endured to get miki lol. uk just needs to lock sia in bbc's basement or something.
- speaking of me thinking people usually freak out too much over revamps, perralle/fairytale is basically the only one mentioned that i had actual negative feelings about lmao
- anyway FUN FACT stones is the only 2018 entry that is geoblocked for brazil and i don't understand why and shit like this that makes me think that maruv's contract drama should probably happen more often than it does lol
- i don't think semi 1 results were thaaaat weird other than The Irish Abomination We Shall Not Name Ever Again. i always thought stones was good, but also always thought the semi was too crowded for it to advance. with juries suddenly (but rightfully) loving mall, there was really no room. the televote leaving it for dead didn't help.
- really? tooji? YOU KNOW THE BLOOD HE HAS ON HIS HANDS, RIGHT??? [doremdeideideideideideideia intensifies]
- but really, while i do understand where you're coming from, watching a Clearly Gay Man trying to sell me a pretty straight boy concept is just kind of painful. he doesn't even hit one of the two moods i accept for this concept, which are 1) repressed gay tension bursting in the heat of the moment (example: imri ziv in the semifinal), 2) not even half of an attempt of looking straight (example: sergey lazarev, more extreme example: daniel oliver in the icelandic NF this year). he's just... there, being sort of gay but also weirdly eager to sell his concept. it's narm.
- it doesn't help me that both song and staging is just discount store eric saade. tooji, we just had eric saade a year ago. he was better. i can smell ham just from typing popular in the youtube search. you are not on his level you will never be on his level [/naomi campbell].
- i do love tooji now that he freed himself from the shackles of this, though. please do MGP again and show us what you can do now, tooji!!

 

[Alaska49]

UPDATE: it has come to my attention that daniel oliver is in fact an out gay man by the way of daniel oliver saying it himself in the youtube comments of his own performance, which removes him from the aforementioned trope. i apologize for my confusion and thank daniel oliver for the representation served this year in the form of extremely homosexual butt shelves. SAMT EKKI EKKI EKKI.

 

[tuorem]

Yaaass! I'm living for these reviews Keep 'em coming sweetheart [MENTION=14007]lavieenrose[/MENTION]

We have such similar tastes, that's crazy. My body is ready for what comes next, I expect some entries in particular to be featured, I can't wait to read your comments about them.

-Nice to see "Korake Ti Znam" in your top, I always thought that one was underappreciated. I miss Bosnia.
-Justice for "O Jardim"! 1 The song and performance moved me from day one. Totally undeserved result imo, I blame the juries for not supporting such a quality effort. It doesn't surprise me viewers overlooked that one, but "experts" should have known better.
-"Stones" deserved a better fate as well. I didn't 100% connect with the song at first (now it's in my top 10 that year), but the performance turned out to be very convincing and enticing to me. It was a mood, I remember writing on the forum about how it looked and felt more like a concert performance than merely a Eurovision one imo, which I found refreshing. With that being said, I still fail to understand why it received so few points from televoters.

 

[njdevils94]

Off topic but Co from Zibbz had a baby recently and he was born on the night of the 2019 ESC final.

https://wiwibloggs.com/2019/05/29/h...out-her-baby-bowie-and-her-new-single/239454/

 

[BorisBubbles]

Luciebot3000 RIP my sweet malfunctioning android princess.

God I love "Stones" LOVELOVELOVELOVE IT. One of my favourite NQs EVER. It's a mental health awareness song that manages to both nurture AND empower, all at the same time. That shot of Coco with the flare is pure unfiltered power. I will never forgive Hans Pannecoucke for murdering it via wideshots. NEVER!!!

(also I need ZiBBZ back in my eurovision life asap, since the rest of their non-esc discography also lowkey slaps lol. Hopefully they are ready to return for Switz once Coco is back from maternity leave)

I can't get behind Tooji love though, given that he robbed Joan Franka, Litesound and Sofi Marinova. I may have LOL'd irl at him distributing roses backstage to curry favour with the delegations and then finishing last anyway lmfao

 

[lavieenrose]

Off topic but Co from Zibbz had a baby recently and he was born on the night of the 2019 ESC final.

https://wiwibloggs.com/2019/05/29/h...out-her-baby-bowie-and-her-new-single/239454/

Me when I read that and missed the bold words

 

[lavieenrose]

#92

#92: Albania 2014 - Hersi - One Night's Anger

Albania have done an amazing job and are being recognized more and more for staying true to themselves over the past couple years, but as you’ll find on the countdown, my favorite renditions of the highly recognizable Albanian “type” come from a bit earlier in the decade. “One Night’s Anger” is a little bit uncanny, a lot dated, and presented with some pretty serious talent and charisma attached.

The first version of ”One Night’s Anger” “Zemërimi i një natë” I find highly impressive. It was a highly enjoyable entry with a distinct and unique point of view presented by a deeply charismatic and talented performer.

Then came the revamp.

The revamp did change the song for the worse, if only for the loss of the bizarre Hell’s-Bells-Into-Piano intro. I can’t escape that. But guess what: after the revamp, “One Night’s Anger” was still, lo and behold, a highly enjoyable entry with a distinct and unique point of view presented by a deeply charismatic and talented performer!

Hersi rules. She’s absolutely bizarre and puts into practice basically every vocal idea that pops into her head, hitting the notes as she knows them and bringing depth to what could have lacked impact. The song's build matches her really well, too, letting the original version breathe a bit as time goes by. I love the bizarre guitar solo, as much for how weirdly out-of-place it sounds as anything else, as well as the moment between the bridge and the final chorus where the song promises to give more and then, all too shockingly, lets us not have it.

This is the FIRST SHOT of the performance. Res ipsa loquitur.​

Nothing about it, from the song to Hersi’s performance therein to the way it was presented, makes any effort to appear accessible, and the result was a direct consequence of this lack of translatability. But just because Europe didn’t get behind it doesn’t mean I can’t recognize the nerve it took to present, and "nerve" is one of those special things Eurovision has that I can't get anywhere else on the radio.

#91

#91: Slovenia 2019 - Zala Kralj & Gašper Šantl - Sebi

Our first entry on the list from my favorite Eurovision country!

When I first heard the snippets for EMA, “Sebi” stood out to me for the gigantic mood change it was from everything else in the selection, and I named it my favorite in a very promising national final. Once the full versions of the EMA songs came out, though, I ended up having some problems with it, feeling it was a bit long for what it was.

But Zala and Gasper won me back with a beautiful world-building of a staging. I was highly entertained by the EMA performance and the atmosphere they created on stage, and after it won the NF and I kept engaging with “Sebi,” “atmosphere” became a bit of a buzzword for me in describing exactly what it was about the song that kept me coming back. It truly was one of the warmest, most entrancing moments on a Eurovision stage I’d ever seen. When I was listening to the song, it gave me something to visualize and enjoy every time.

This is effing magical (and not just the message to vote for them!).​

Okay, in fairness, I was actually terrified about how this was going to be staged and about the prospect of the atmosphere not translating from EMA. It would not have been the first time that an EMA concept misses a little on a larger stage.[SUP]2[/SUP]

Luckily, though, everything about it hit (not to mention that the right small changes were made). The atmosphere the two of them created was, as it was at EMA, spot on and a perfect escape and invitation to join them in the world they create. They told the story absolutely flawlessly and did a great job of letting me into their little world. Yes, “Sebi” purely as a song was highest in my estimations as a pre-EMA snippet. But it’s the perfect backing music for a performance which, in this case, truly does come first, however long that may be.

When I said a few entries ago that the best stagings justify choices that are hard sells, this is exactly what I meant. Zala and Gasper took an idea which could have been a bit of a long three minutes to sit through and put on a show which flies by.

[SUP]2[/SUP] More on that later

#90

#90: Georgia 2018 - Ethno Jazz Band Iriao - Sheni Gulistvis

That’s right: TWO abject flops in one post!

When Ethno-Jazz Band Iriao first got announced, I delved into their grave, mournful catalogue with aplomb, expecting something heavy and tragic out of their Eurovision entry. What I ended up getting from Georgia was something even better: a happy, even slightly playful journey of a song.

The vocals are full, but none of it feels heavy at all, if that makes any sense. It keeps on moving and flowing while also keeping the sound level high. As with another previously discussed 2018 favorite of mine, that lilt probably doomed it from a results perspective. But if you’ve gotten this far, you’ll know that essentially asking for a bad result doesn’t doom it here. It makes me feel like I’m on the fun level of an adventure game,[SUP]3[/SUP] a beautiful cotton candy fantasy disguised as a deadly serious ethno jazz band[SUP]4[/SUP] ballad.

Looper guy, by the by, is the undisputed star of the video. So chill but so enthusiastic. Darude is shook.​

This constant movement creates, naturally, some pretty wonderful unpredictability. I can never remember that 1:22 is coming, and it makes me perk up every time. You could call that evidence of the song being unmemorable. I choose to call it surprising and confusing (which I love).

Another serious plus about this entry: THE LANGUAGE. I’m unspeakably glad that Georgian has over the past couple of years made its presence known. Y’all know I love me some unvoiced consonants, and Georgian, or at least the version of it presented here, is full of them. I don’t know if Georgia will ever find a way to get Europe’s ears to love Georgian as mine do (I hope they do), but they could probably send just about anything in Georgian and have my ears perked.

Sure, the song ended up having some issues translating every one of these wonderful aspects to the performance; the blocking was a bit weird and left everything a little bit too static. But they’re all still there and all put me in such a happy place. Was “the fun level of an adventure game” what I thought I’d get going into hearing this song? Absolutely not. But boy am I glad that that’s what it delivered.

[SUP]3[/SUP] Let the record show that this is an entirely guesswork simile; I don’t really play video games.[SUP]a[/SUP]
[SUP]a[/SUP] Or play them well, at least (YES A SUB FOOTNOTE WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT).
[SUP]4[/SUP] I once remarked of "The Dream" that Roko says "dream" so much that it stops sounding like an actual word. "Ethno jazz band" only needs one recitation to stop feeling like a real phrase.