RainyWoods
Croak-kay
2019 is coming to an end and we're about to enter a new decade. It's a biggie! Time to make some resolutions for the new year that we'll inevitably drop within a week, but together we can make it to at least a month, I'm confident.
Here are mine..
Be kinder to people (show more warmth):
I’m generally good at this, and I guess any online friends I have would possibly be confused right now, but IRL I can be that guy with the resting bitch face that’s hard to approach. I’ve got a really, really short fuse. I want to work on that. I’m great with friends once I’m comfortable enough with them, and I’ve only ever fallen out before with similarly feisty characters to myself, but there’s still stuff to work on, first and foremost I think is better managing of my anger. I don’t fit the hippie looking person stereotype very well right now. The red I see is really unhealthy and hard to live with. More peeace man inside myself and loove.. and all that good shit. Also, I want to be less brutal when writing about songs on the forum, which probably is going to upset some people as I know my yearly dumps on NFs have some amusement value, but painfully average songwriters and annoying pretentious sounding vocalists have feelings too.
Take better care of myself health wise:
I never thought I’d be approaching my 30s close to fitting the bear (or cub rather if I'm being more realistic) stereotype, but somehow it’s happening and I don’t mind… it’s just I need to proportionize it all a little better. Beef up a smidgen even cause at the moment I’m like a male Shakira. My weight is all around the hips, butt and lil’ round sometimes pregnant belly area. I want to get more active. Maybe lift some weights, running etc. I know it’s going to make me feel better in the long run. Also, I need to start eating healthier. Perhaps call off my love affair with Pringles.
Do something daring I deep down wanna do but I’m scared to, like:
- Get a nose piercing (I find nose rings highly sexy, not gonna lie)
- Cut my hair. This is a biggie of course but the time feels near, especially as Jesus continues to pluck strands from the corners of my hairline for some reason.
- Wear some fabrics that aren't denim or 100% cotton Charles Wilson shirts. I need to take some exciting fashion tips from Arilena Ara I think or even Serhat. Two style icons there. My dad rock look is gonna be with me forever surely, but why not spice it up a little from time to time?
Bring playing music back into my life (generally getting creative again):
I’ve gone cold turkey from playing instruments now for two or three years. It was my passion and I just stopped. A whole host of things made me give things up. A lack of confidence derived mostly from being untrained, depression that was terrible at the time and just this general feeling that what I was doing was pointless, that no one would care, that I'd never be able to evolve properly. I need to dust off that piano, acquire proper recording gear and start to write again. Perfume Genius didn’t get going until he was in his thirties. I still got this.
Join and get involved in another online community:
Something that interests me obviously. Maybe a hangout for horror fans, people that dig hip-hop or perhaps even a forum for home music recording. No lurking allowed. Joining up and talking with people is what I gotta do. I’m awkward with new people, but that’s ok. I’ll end up feeling as comfortable as I feel being here eventually. Gotta combat my social anxiety.
Start reading books:
Thinking about it, I read ALL the time, but it’s just whatever tidbits I find that interest me on the net. I never sit down to read books outside of the odd biography/autobiography of musicians I take a deep interest in (like Nico, The Velvet Underground, Dessa, Elliott Smith etc). I need me some fiction. Instead of filling time by playing video games, watching horror films or listening to music, READ... you lazy thing. Get that brain twirling.
Start a blog:
People have told me in the past that I really should blog cause of the way I’m able to share my problems in a very open, raw kind of way that I guess in turn invites others to open up too. Problem is I don’t feel entirely comfortable talking about myself. I just tend to spontaneously take any opportunities to share something about myself when nudged, with me then feeling awkward and exposed shortly afterwards. If it would be beneficial to others, I’d think about doing a blog, possibly video blogging even on youtube. I think a series in which I discuss and document my mental health struggles could potentially help others whilst also being a beneficial self-release of emotions.
Do one selfless thing each day that's going to make someone else happy:
Self explanatory really.
Learn a new skill:
Again, kind of self explanatory. It could be anything. Calligraphy, brick laying, swinging around a pole. Something new for me that's gonna be useful. I've got this urge to start painting with oils actually as I'm crazy for Bob Ross at this very minute. He's my icon of the moment.
Be like this gif:
So what are your plans for 2020 and the new decade?
Here are mine..
Be kinder to people (show more warmth):
I’m generally good at this, and I guess any online friends I have would possibly be confused right now, but IRL I can be that guy with the resting bitch face that’s hard to approach. I’ve got a really, really short fuse. I want to work on that. I’m great with friends once I’m comfortable enough with them, and I’ve only ever fallen out before with similarly feisty characters to myself, but there’s still stuff to work on, first and foremost I think is better managing of my anger. I don’t fit the hippie looking person stereotype very well right now. The red I see is really unhealthy and hard to live with. More peeace man inside myself and loove.. and all that good shit. Also, I want to be less brutal when writing about songs on the forum, which probably is going to upset some people as I know my yearly dumps on NFs have some amusement value, but painfully average songwriters and annoying pretentious sounding vocalists have feelings too.
Take better care of myself health wise:
I never thought I’d be approaching my 30s close to fitting the bear (or cub rather if I'm being more realistic) stereotype, but somehow it’s happening and I don’t mind… it’s just I need to proportionize it all a little better. Beef up a smidgen even cause at the moment I’m like a male Shakira. My weight is all around the hips, butt and lil’ round sometimes pregnant belly area. I want to get more active. Maybe lift some weights, running etc. I know it’s going to make me feel better in the long run. Also, I need to start eating healthier. Perhaps call off my love affair with Pringles.
Do something daring I deep down wanna do but I’m scared to, like:
- Get a nose piercing (I find nose rings highly sexy, not gonna lie)
- Cut my hair. This is a biggie of course but the time feels near, especially as Jesus continues to pluck strands from the corners of my hairline for some reason.
- Wear some fabrics that aren't denim or 100% cotton Charles Wilson shirts. I need to take some exciting fashion tips from Arilena Ara I think or even Serhat. Two style icons there. My dad rock look is gonna be with me forever surely, but why not spice it up a little from time to time?
Bring playing music back into my life (generally getting creative again):
I’ve gone cold turkey from playing instruments now for two or three years. It was my passion and I just stopped. A whole host of things made me give things up. A lack of confidence derived mostly from being untrained, depression that was terrible at the time and just this general feeling that what I was doing was pointless, that no one would care, that I'd never be able to evolve properly. I need to dust off that piano, acquire proper recording gear and start to write again. Perfume Genius didn’t get going until he was in his thirties. I still got this.
Join and get involved in another online community:
Something that interests me obviously. Maybe a hangout for horror fans, people that dig hip-hop or perhaps even a forum for home music recording. No lurking allowed. Joining up and talking with people is what I gotta do. I’m awkward with new people, but that’s ok. I’ll end up feeling as comfortable as I feel being here eventually. Gotta combat my social anxiety.
Start reading books:
Thinking about it, I read ALL the time, but it’s just whatever tidbits I find that interest me on the net. I never sit down to read books outside of the odd biography/autobiography of musicians I take a deep interest in (like Nico, The Velvet Underground, Dessa, Elliott Smith etc). I need me some fiction. Instead of filling time by playing video games, watching horror films or listening to music, READ... you lazy thing. Get that brain twirling.
Start a blog:
People have told me in the past that I really should blog cause of the way I’m able to share my problems in a very open, raw kind of way that I guess in turn invites others to open up too. Problem is I don’t feel entirely comfortable talking about myself. I just tend to spontaneously take any opportunities to share something about myself when nudged, with me then feeling awkward and exposed shortly afterwards. If it would be beneficial to others, I’d think about doing a blog, possibly video blogging even on youtube. I think a series in which I discuss and document my mental health struggles could potentially help others whilst also being a beneficial self-release of emotions.
Do one selfless thing each day that's going to make someone else happy:
Self explanatory really.
Learn a new skill:
Again, kind of self explanatory. It could be anything. Calligraphy, brick laying, swinging around a pole. Something new for me that's gonna be useful. I've got this urge to start painting with oils actually as I'm crazy for Bob Ross at this very minute. He's my icon of the moment.
Be like this gif:
So what are your plans for 2020 and the new decade?
xflop. Being a flop is quite amazing though if I may say so myself. At least when some people refer to 'flop' things, they seem pretty amazing to me a lot of times. Jokes aside though, I think as I know a lot of you by now, I think I get why you would want to work on those things right now, you truly have the perfect mindset right now and Idk I sense growth with you 
roaring 20s loading. Slay them dirty thirties. Ur a forum icon already, now take over the world and you let them know y u the best.
Thinking things through is a good thing at times, but a lot of times.... Just letting go is simply the most logical and healthy thing to do. And I know we both do this with bigger things but also with the smallest things and it just is mad xd ok bye thats it.
Not only that I think i've grown and matured so much, I'm more confident, I wouldn't say happier or healthier but I'm certainly in a better place. I got an honours degree from University, a job and got to meet so many different people through that job. I think I've got a long way to go yet to fully be at my true potential but I have goals I want to achieve before 2030. I want to be a better financial position, I want my own home, I want to find someone to share it all with, but overall i'd like to be happier and feel more content with myself. So, heres to the roaring 20s. Cheers. xxmas
I forgot to add but I think one of my own personal biggest achievements isn't getting a degree or whatever, but it was travelling abroad to meet Yaro on my own. Some of in quite stress ways. My entire family laughed at the thought of me going abroad alone, but I managed to do it twice when none of them couldn't. 
The forum is one of the first places I check here each day. 
I am happy to share I made it all the way through and I am thinking to continue with it in 2021. 
I will try to make another resolution for 2021 and update my post here.
