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The ESC United “Expert” Panel is back. The Editorial team got to enjoy all 43 entries of the 2017 Eurovision Song Contest, review and rank them accordingly. Needless to say, this is all subjective and you may totally disagree with us. There is a reason we put quotation marks down. Which is why we included a poll and in the end we’ll compare the reader’s results to our results. So check out our comments first and the scroll down to vote in the poll. Let’s get rollin’!

Montenegro: Slavko Kalezić – Space

 

Sean – 10 Points
Utterly fantastic. Montenegro has proven to be one of the alternative voices in recent years and once again throw a curveball in 2017. This time it’s a dancey, catchy, ostentatiously flamboyant funk banger and completely unexpected from such a country and one I cannot pull myself away from. This is perfect for lifting the spirit, and Slavko really sells it well. I cannot wait to dance along to this in May!

Gerry – 8 Points
If anybody’s bringing realness to the stage at Kyiv this year, it’s Slavko. Space is a disco masterpiece; I can see this becoming a staple at Euroclub for years to come. Slavko’s a wonderful performer; he can put on a fabulous show and he’s a great singer. Plus, it’s the raunchiest song we’ve seen at Eurovision for years, with the lyrics being very thinly-veiled metaphors for man-on-man action. It’s so risqué and so camp, I can’t help but applaud Montenegro for their out-of-the-box decision. Consider me slayed.

Robert – 8 Points
Well I was expecting some kind of mess from Monetengro, but this surpassed that expectation for sure; it’s a hot mess! Goodness me, just when you worried entries like this had died out, this comes bounding along with a vengeance! “Wet dreams” get a mention on the second line which kinda gives a clear idea of where the song is heading throughout. If the staging isn’t fabulously camp come May, I’ll be sorely disappointed! Talking of the lyrics, I do feel that spending the last minute or so just repeating the chorus is somewhat lazy given it’s only a three minute long song. At least it builds into a wonderful climax musically even if the lyrics are lacking a little. It’s a Eurovision song through and through, and it’s not afraid to admit it!

Calvin – 8 Points
Moldova, take notes. This is how you make sleazy lyrics work. Slavko is well aware of how ridiculous some of the elements of his song are, and he runs with it, giving us a fun, delicious slice of mid-late-2000s schlager. Sure, a song based on space-related innuendo is a cheesy idea, but the song is compelling and addictive enough musically that it doesn’t matter much. Some people may call this “dated,” but as far as I’m concerned, that’s just a dysphemism for “fun.”

Matt – 7 Points
Wet dreams, Come into me from within, we can be together as one in the sin, the spaceship is ready to blow, I’m gonna explode, I have my suit on, no need to worry, if you come my way. Too many sexual innuendos in three minutes….I can’t. Montenegro sends a song that is so over the top, it hurts…but it hurts so good. That chorus is HEAVEN, melodically that is. That disco vibe and beat is just delicious, I can’t resist. I expect nothing less than a mind-blowing feat in Kyiv. Slavko lives by the motto, go Big or go home.

Nenad – 7 Points
Sexy mode on! Montenegro continues to send a different kind of song each year – but Eurovision is about Diversity, isn’t it? My country’s hopes this year lies with up-tempo and dance song, with a memorable chorus. It’s difficult to analyze my country’s song, but for now I can say that this could do well in Kiev. Doesn’t matter the fact that song sounds like  it’s 2009 and a bit trashy – but we must admit that Slavko sells this track. He is surrounded by team of High Quality professionals, so I want to believe that this thing will work. We hope to reach a Grand Final after 2 year of absence.

Stefan – 6 Points
Knowing Slavko’s personality, I kinda expected a song like this. It has that 90s Balkan music vibe with a pinch of Swedish production. There’s no doubt that he will use everything what stage has to offer.

Zack – 5 Points
The lyrics make me cringe quite a bit. But a great instrumental with production that alongside San Marino, provides a great guilty pleasure for this year’s Eurovision

Ferdi – 5 Points
Seeing Slavko told Europe to be prepared to be shocked, this is quite a tame entry. That doesn’t mean it’s bad, though. It starts out intriguing and then when the chorus hits, the song turns into a kind of a party song. Not really shocking, but a nice entry nevertheless and there’s plenty of room for Slavko to shock with his staging. It is far from my favourites thoug

Romeo – 1 Point
As I am forcing myself to listen to this song, I am increasingly wanting to hit the bottle. I think it is a blatant attempt to get people talking. I see no musical merit. It is a mix of early 00s disco with Serhat’s voice.

David – 1 Point
This is quite something interesting, but not in a good way. I’m sorry Slavko, but I find this song very awkward and uncomfortable. I don’t wish to sound harsh in any way, but like I always say “It’s impossible to please everyone”, I’m sure Slavko could make a song I’d love in the future, but this is not the one. The song is very old-school as well, and it has some disco vibes as well, all of that is just not me. The lyrics don’t seem suiting as well for a listener like me, it does get quite creepy.

 

Final Score: 66

 

Now it’s your turn, vote in the poll and let us know how you ranked it. You can comment here or join thousands of Eurovision fans and comment on our Forum HERE.

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This is the current ranking of the Panel, you can see all Reviews by clicking HERE.