The ESC United “Expert” Panel is back once again reviewing all Eurovision songs and rank them accordingly.

You are probably asking yourself on how we pick our panel and the criteria. We looked at people from all walks of life to bring together a unique group of panelists with a wide range in taste. They all bring different skills and tastes to the table so who are they?

Anselm – The Alternative Guy
Arie – The Professional Musician
Daniel – The Noob
Katja – The Schlager Queen
Mike – The Smart One
Olivia – The Journalist

You can read more about them HERE

Disclaimer: While we picked, what we perceived individuals with a wide range in taste, it is subjective to a certain degree so just enjoy their thoughts and if you don’t agree, feel free to post your comments below.

It’s San Marino…..without Valentina. Yes, for the first time in several years, the little nation is sending a different act to Eurovision and it’s a duo. The (very) young Anita Simoncini & Michele Perniola are singing about Chain of Lights. What’s the jury thinking? Let’s find out!

Arie – The Professional Musician
First, let’s talk about the composition of the song.  Though the melody is not as sweeping or dynamic as I would like it to be, I have to say that the syncopation and interesting chord choices make it extremely pleasing.  Next, let’s talk about the arrangement/orchestration.  It’s really pretty and dynamic at the same time.  Beautiful string runs over percussive orchestra hits make this song even more of a draw.  Unfortunately, now it’s time to talk about lyrics which are simply an attempt at emotional manipulation that has gone terrible wrong.  It’s like a bad version of a song one would hear during a Disney fireworks display.  And now, at long last, the vocals.  Is this Junior Eurovision?  Did all the adults in San Marino disappear in some odd “End of Days”/Revelations type of rapture leaving only 2 untalented teens left to represent their country?  If yes, then bravo!  If not, then 6 pts!!!
Points: 6/10

Mike – The Smart One
After three years of Valentina we have a young male/female duo.  The piece is again composed by Ralph Siegel, which once again, is both good and bad.  Parts of the song are very good.  The slightly minor section which leads up to the refrain of “Light a Candle” is beautifully written and orchestrated.  Both of the soloists’ voices are well suited to the music, which calls for very little from either of them.  Yet their lyricism and delivery in apparent innocence works well.  On the other hand the second statement of the refrain and its orchestration reminds one of bad Israeli songs from the 90s.
Points: 6/10

Katja – The Schlager Queen
When Michele & Anita got announced, I was delighted. Yay, Eurovision’s Troy & Gabriella! Or Same Difference! and I was expecting something slightly cheesy but remotely contemporary. Instead we got this misery, taken from Ralph Siegel’s drawer among the demos he probably made when Michele and Anita weren’t even born. I’m on board with key changes, but this is too chance-less, even for me to get on board. That said, Same Difference to save UK in 2016, please
Points: 3/10

Daniel – The Noob
Listening to the intro, this entry caught my attention. So I was expecting a dynamic and powerful song. No chance! The assumed intro is in fact the verse. Too bad because this song stays as sluggish as the verse and that is why there is no arc of suspense. Anyway, this entry disappoints,  since the performers have great voices and work well together.  I am afraid this entry will not stand out from the crowd.
Points: 3/10

Olivia – The Journalist
Upon first listening this song sounds like the rejected theme for a James Bond movie. It’s a bizarre mix of classical strings, musical theatre, and far too many key changes. Yet again San Marino has joined forced with Ralph Siegel, and yet again San Marino has produced a dated, decadent song. The duo is cute, their voices are nice, and the harmonies are spot on. But the song does them no justice. Though Siegel iis a sophisticated writer, the song’s complexities will be quickly lost on Europe’s ears. Having said that, Europe seemed to like last year’s entry enough to vote it through to the finals, so there is hope. The message of building a chain of light is a agreeable image, but this style of peace-giving song writing has had its day. Europe is looking into the future. And sadly, with this song. San Marino will be left behind.
Points: 2/10

Anselm – The Alternative Guy
Where’s Valentina Monetta when you need her? This song is somewhat cute but blatantly screams Ralph Siegel – it’s like he wanted to make it as obvious as possible it’s one of his compositions. “Chain of Lights” reeks of cheese, especially during the last minute of the song. On top of that, Michele’s vocals don’t even sound very good in the studio version. I don’t want to imagine what it’s going to sound like live on stage. At least I can somewhat enjoy this in an ironic way.
Points: 3/10

Overall: 23 Points

Oh dear, that didn’t go too well for San Marino. The Chain of Lights doesn’t leave a glimmer of hope this time around. Ralph Siegel’s compositions goes straight to the Bottom for now.

Do you think that the panel got this right?!? Share your thoughts below and join the convo on our Forum. See yah soon!