Every year our “Expert” Panel comes together to judge all entries for the Eurovision Song Contest and they’re back to take apart the 2013 entries and rank them accordingly. While their characters and comments may be wacky, the scores are dead serious. All 13 panelists will comment on the song and rank them accordingly giving it points using a scale from five to zero. At the end you’ll also get to cast your vote in the poll. If you would learn more about the panelists and to discuss the show, join us on our Forum HERE

Let’s have a look at the current scoreboard:

She is “The Voice” of Russia, Dina Garipova was internally selected to represent Russia at the 2013 Eurovison Song Contest with the song “What If”. Let’s see how the panel liked the song:

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This is an amazing song, which I falled in love with after the first listening. Music is very strong, at the same time it sounds very gentle for my ears. Maybe it sounds like a typical ballad, but there is something in it, which makes me to dream, which increase a sense of living in me. After listening to it, I’ve got myself with teardrops on my face – it really touched my heart. I want to make a special accent to lyrics of this composition, philosophical questions makes me to review my current lifestyle

Such a wonderful voice Dina my dear has! The song she is singing suites her perfect I hope she would do well in chance of winning!

A classic ballad. Could be like fruit salad. But this is much more sweet. Something much more tasty to eat. A great melody. That makes the whole song incredibly. Could it be a winner? Well if it is, Russia, invite me for dinner!

How refreshing to see this beauty instead of those dyergrannies from last year! Clearly Russia is going for the moral behind the storywith these lyrics. Burying our guns? Unfortunately we don’t have many in the UKmy love but I catch ya drift…! This is a stunning song with a fantastic keychange with plenty of time to do a decent power grab Westlife stylie! All she needson stage is a giant fan and she’s set. This is sure to qualify and do well, butthey MUST remember the fan! The ending is one of the best in this year’scontest. Nice one Russia!

Mother Russia presents a song that brings nothing new: a young woman who sings a song that resembles a song that my grandmother sang it back when I was assisting her at the baptism of some child.

Eau: Oh, dear heaven, what happened to Russia? Such a massive change from last year’s entry. Do you still remember them Liz, the six grannies from a distant Russian village hidden in the snow of Siberia?
Liz: Oh yes, I still remember them….. I was always wondering how they could bake cookies in three minutes. I’m still searching for the recipe on the internet.
Eau: But this year Russia is so decent, it’s almost …(to be continued)

As usual, Russia have gone in the opposite direction to last year, and gone with a strong performer with a ballad. It’s a pretty uplifting number, very Disney-esque. Dina’s singing is flawless and the track is very professional, but it has no soul. It ends powerfully but we hear these type of ballads at Eurovision every year. I was hoping more originality. Since It’s a decent, inoffensive ballad by Russia, I expect another high result this year. It won’t win though. It doesn’t stand out enough.

This song is too dreamy! Dina, if you want any of these things to become a reality, get out do these things yourself! I have no time for such dreamers! I too wanted to make a positive change in the world, so I moved to music reviewing rather than cooking! It’s a nice ballad that represents my homeland this year, but nul points from Morenik!

What if I tell you I’ll shoot myself in the nostril with one of those guns you want me to bury in your song if you say ‘What if’ one more time? Talking about repetitiveness…Her voice is nice and I can’t say I hate the song but it leaves me as cold as a cucumber.

The first 30 seconds of this song were very nice, but then the chorus started and I was like living a déjà vu of early 00s American ballads. This is so generic and uninspiring. The radio is full of these songs, we don’t need another one.

Is this Malta? Oh, it is Russia after all. It really does not matter, as my mark was set already after I heard this. Sounds incredibly dull and already heard many times before. I will give this song one point, as this lady knows how to sing. Reserve a spot for them in the final… well, reserve a spot for them for every year in the final.

Biggest country in Europe buys generic cookie cutter, by numbers piece of bland poo from Sweden. Need I say more? Well perhaps I will. This woman has about as much passion in her voice as a packet of crisps. It’s like she’s just been presented the lyrics of the song for the first time and she’s reading them from a piece of paper whilst singing.

WHAT IS THIS, THE 90’s?!? Disney ballad is the way to describe this. Formulaic at its finest. We have “progress” lyrics, belty vocals, very very Disney ballad. Come on, why would I love this, this is horrible. I don’t like it at all. What if we just forget this song exists and move on with our lives, eh?