Warning: this post contains opinions. Please try to not be offended.
Alright gang, Norway’s national final is just around the corner with the second heat (Delfinalen 2) airing tonight. We at ESCUnited of course had our own share of opinions about tonight’s crop of hopefuls, so we’ve gathered our toughts into a smögåsbord of delectable reviews. You’ll have to scroll down and read the nitty-gritty of our opinions below, but we can say that our reviewers did not see eye to eye on most of tonight’s semifinalists. You’re bound to run into opinions you will hard disagree with and some that you may appreciate.
On today’s panel we find:
- Boris Meersman (BE/BG), always one rant away from an anxiety attack
- Daniel Theophanous (GB/CY), as always, duty personified
- David Popescu (DK/RO), firing off low scores in 1-2-3…
- James Maude (US: CA), our new-found beacon of ♥ positivity ♥
- Tyler Griffith (US: UT), will anything defrost his heart today?
- Yehonatan Cohen (IL), on a mission to prove that yes, he does like SOME songs in MGP this year.
As stated above, we will be reviewing all six songs participating in Norway’s second heat. The principle is simple: every song will receive a score between 0 and 10, and a review from each editor. After all 36 reviews (six per song), we’ll post a ranking that will show you which our qualifiers are going into tonight. The songs were rated based on their studio cut and their live potential at MGP/Eurovision.
Our reviews for the third heat will be posted 27 January. WHICH of these 18 acts will be #TeamUnited’s favourite overal? Well, we do not know yet and you’ll have to follow this series to find out :-).
But first the usual disclaimer:
Opinons stated below only reflect the views of the editor, and not of ESCUnited as a whole, nor those of our benevolent overlord Matt. You may direct your grievances at the editor responsible for vertical classification. Each reviewer is also aware that their opinions will be made public so if you’re one of these six reviewed artists and you meet the editor that eviscerated you, feel free to trash them back. They knew the risks. ^_^
From left to right and from top to bottom, these are the songs we are reviewing for #YOU today!
Let’s waste no time and get cracking. One question burns on everyone’s lips and it will be answered
Will Yehonatan like ANYTHING today?
Boris – 5 – “Judge… tenderly… of… me? What a bizarre little song. and I mean that somewhat affectionately. It doesn’t quite work though. I feel like Dag Erik and Anne are going for a Linnet-style country vibe carried by ~*poetic*~ lyrics, but the general cadence and content of their poetry can be best described as “Master Yoda Haiku’s“. It’s more off-putting than romantic and that sort of thing only works if it had been intended that way. Sense a lot it does not make. The route to finals, it won’t take.”
Daniel – 5 – “Variety is the spice of life. Duo Oksvold and Fagermo are here to mix things up a little with a Eurovision country song circa 2014. As the title recommends, I am trying to judge this song tenderly. A pleasant song to listen to, with production values that incorporate all the signature sounds of the genre, but ultimately fails to rise above the mediocre.”
David – 1 – Sorry, but this just depresses me personally, so I’d rather not listen to this, as in… at all
James – 5 – “Why do flowers in her hair make Dag Erik tremble? Does he have a strange fear of Scott McKenzie’s “San Francisco” or Barry Manilow’s “Copacabana”? I can be a sucker for lightweight country duets, but this one is maybe a little too lightweight. It’s like Carousel’s “That Night” from Latvia a couple years back, though somehow less memorable. This is the sort of song you may hear from a live act in a wine bar in Solvang, California, and even without the assistance of pints of Pinot Noir, it’s easy to forget.”
Tyler – 3.5 – ” This song just isn’t for me, sorry! The music sounds saccharine and boring at the same time. Sure, the song itself seems like it’s supposed to be sweet, but I’m snoozing just a few seconds in. Not every song needs to be an upbeat banger and it’s good to have these slower songs, but they also need to be interesting, which this one doesn’t do for me!”
Yehonatan – 6.5 – “This is a very needed break from all the heavy productions in this heat. Sometimes all you need is a guitar and a cute duet to stand out amongst the wanna be viral songs. I say that fully knowing this has no chances of finishing higher than last in the heat, so bless them for trying. ”
Listen to “Judge Tenderly of Me” below:
Agree with our editors? Let us know in the comments how #YOU would rate this entry.
Boris – 9 – “What in the Vidbir? Katya Chilly’s “Pich” re-imagined as a bond theme? Inspired by Wagner’s Tannhäuser? Is this real? Is this NORWAY? “Touch of Venus” is sinister and camp in the exact correct doses and I’m cast under Eli’s siren spell, blissfully forgetting that it’s all an illusion and Norway is the source of my trust issues. The last chorus where Eli Kristin effortlessly transitions from a sultry, chocolatey mezzo drawl into a coloratura staccato and back… yes, ALL the yesses in the world. Mother is calling out to her children and we answer: SEND HER.”
Daniel – 6 – “A Eurovision diva here, or one that aspires to be. There is a lot of drama, with a touch of the Balkan ballad, perhaps owed to Kristin’s vocal, which impressively veers into full-on soprano mode in the song’s denouement. Aspects of this do work, but there is a dated flavour to it. I do however have hunch she will sell it live.”
David – 2 – “I can hear a bit of quality in this, but it also just feels very slow placed, compared to what it seems like the song is aiming for. Overall, it just misses completely for me, it’s very scattered around and very confusing listening to, especially with some of those very out of touch and random high vocal sounds.”
James – 7 – “Pop opera at Eurovision national finals can be dicey – if you go too classical you’re dinged for being too out of touch with modernity, but if you put operatic vocals on top of modern instrumentation you can be dinged for creating a cacophonous mess. “Touch of Venus” gets the blend just about right. The highlight is Eli Kristin’s vocal solo in the back end of the song. She gets the opportunity to show off, though she does occasionally get drowned out by backing vocals in the mix. Other than that, the track is not that interesting. It lacks the seductive power her lyrics reference”
Tyler – 5.5 – ” I usually give higher marks for a song that’s trying to be experimental and show us new things, but the mix of opera and weird chips in this entry reminds me more of something that’s in a Belarussian national selection. There’s no cogent direction the song goes in, and while I think the song can be interesting, this seems like an entry that’s too out there to have any fans.”
Yehonatan – 5.5 – “Another entry that has nothing particularly bad to note about but at the same time fails to provoke emotions in me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining about any of these songs after heat 1 which was full of uninspired songs which were also not good. At least in this heat the uninspired songs are relatively good, and. ‘Touch of Venus’ falls exactly under that category of unispired, but still solid.”
Listen to “Touch of Venus” below:
Agree with our editors? Let us know in the comments how #YOU would rate this entry.
Boris – 3 – “Another soul has discovered the joy of “Fridays” by Ula Ložar.☺ I’d root for this “I Love Rasmus Thall SO Much” stringfest (i ALSO love Rasmus *that* much, #Tresko4Lyf) if wasn’t already too busy cackling at Farida tripping over her own autotune corrections in the studio cut. HONEY, IF YOU CAN’T UPTEMPO, DON’T SING YOUR OWN UPTEMPO. Also um, we’re Anno 2024. Should we really be condoning any Electro–Swing by this point, even the folkified varieties? In or Out and Queen Bees were sketch as f’ck, and those are centuries old in Eurovision years. It’s lowkey embarrassing, for both Farida and NRK that this ramshackle vehicle of a song crawled its way into a selection that is also watched by hundred of fans outside of Norway. So much for currying that international prestige, huh?”
Daniel – 8.5 – “I feel that I would do a disservice to the song if I described it as a guilty pleasure based on the fact it borrows so many pop tropes, we’ve all heard before. At the heart of Heartache, lies a very simple melody, but its Farida’s fluctuating vocal capability and pathos that elevate Heartache into an absolute banger. Clever production values featuring guitar plucking in the verses, a dramatic drop in tempo pre-chorus and infectious euro-pop chorus heavily reminiscent of Gloria Gaynor’s I Will Survive. I cannot wait to see this live!”
David – 8 – “A returnee that I remember, and good lord, it’s with a fun song this time! This is probably what I wanted from Farida. To me, this is miles better than her 2022 attempt. This time, it’s easy to remember, catchy melody, interesting story and lyrics, great delivery. I do however, want it more passionately performed, but otherwise, I really love this.”
James – 4 – “This song has a breakdown and a key change in it, and they’re both amazing in how clunkily they’re inserted. I suppose they give “Heartache” a little character, as it was a trite romance thrown atop dated pop with some “foreign” / non-Western flair thrown in. I am not sure even Farida herself is convinced, as she is not selling it on the studio version. On the plus side, it’s harmless piffle. I have thrown objects at the TV because of past things I’ve seen and heard on MGP, so that I didn’t do so here must constitute a minor victory.”
Tyler – 7.5 – “It’s possible that “Heartache” may be a bit too basic, but I quite liked this song! I thought the beat was catchy and Farida’s vocals were good. This also shows the range she can have as an artist, and if this song doesn’t make it past the semi-final, she’ll have another go and it’ll still be interesting to me. I’m not totally in love with this entry though as I could see it getting lost with other pop songs, but still fun all on its own.”
Yehonatan – 6 – “Farida is serving us a late 2000s schlager melody wrapped in slightly more modern production, and you know what, that already puts it above most things in MGP this year. The verses are definitely the stronger part of ‘Heartache’, and if only the chorus was as hooking as them, it could have passed with a pretty high score for MGP. In summary it’s pleasent when it’s on but I can’t really see myself circling back to listen to this one a lot.”
Listen to “Heartache” below:
Agree with our editors? Let us know in the comments how #YOU would rate this entry.
Boris – 7 – “There are ways to open neopagan folk anthems. Whale mating calls is a new one for me. I think Ulveham slaps? The way in for me was just The Concept of “woman screams slightly off-kilter in a regional dialect” because that reminds me of Strazdas (LT99), and anything that reminds me of Strazdas is endearing in my book. As far as the song is concerned, I like it but i’m also cautious. In studio Ulveham dip a bit too much in disjoined wreck with its unhinged vocals, screechy strings and muted gothic rock undertones that seem thrown in just cuz. I’m fairly confident that a sensory overload cocktail served by an MGP participant leads towards headache, rather than a Eurovision appearance, but I’m happy to be proven wrong by a strong live. We all earned a pleasant surprise from Norway after last week’s tomfoolery.”
Daniel – 7 – “Folk sounds, heavy metal choruses backed by epic electronic production. Only at Eurovision would such a combination exist. It is occupying the same space as Gothminster, but this feels more authentic, less gimmicky with a captivating ethereal vocal that is effectively emotive. Staged well this could be a contender.”
David – 3 – “A song that did seem promising, when you get through the out of style intro, but it somehow seems confused and unsure what it’s aiming for, but musically and style that is. There’s also a lot of tempo switching, between the versus and the chorus and it just sets my interest for the song off. I’m eventually just lost, and not bothering getting back up with it.”
James – 6 – “As gothic folk rock blends go, this is fine. Oddly for this genre, the guitars let this song down. If it was more guitar forward and came in more than in the odd spurt, they could generate more of that gothic atmosphere they’re going for.”
Tyler – 7 – ” Gotta love folk ethno-rock, right? Well, it’s good, not fantastic. The pacing of the song is unpredictable, which makes the composition of the song to be interesting and also frustrating when there’s a part that I’m really getting into but gets cut off (mostly the chorus, which is nonexistent). Perhaps the live performance will have a “Fulenn” moment, which could be a lot of fun to see! It could also have a “Terra” moment and completely fall apart. We’ll see what happens, but I’m excited to see it!”
Yehonatan – 8.5 – “Finally, a worthy song to save Norway from their sins of their mediocrity! This is what I expect the quality of MGP to be across the board usually, but at least there’s one song that got the assignment. Celtic vocals, rock instruments, modern production, what more can I ask for? Such a breath of fresh air! I hope that Norway’s history of robbing songs in their native language wouldn’t have such a hard impact on this one, as right now it is the only song that I could see making the top 10 in Malmö from the selection.”
Listen to “Ulveham” below:
Agree with our editors? Let us know in the comments how #YOU would rate this entry.
Boris – 6 – “I’m not sure how I feel about Mileo. Well okay, I’m sure about how I feel about Mileo. He’s an unctuous demon twink who should be cast back into the hell pit which he spawned from. But “You’re Mine” also operates under the Ovo Je Balkan principle of “Okay, it’s clearly and deliberately cringe, so maybe it is self-deprecating in just the correct amount for it circle back into camp, bunch of question marks”. It’s not impossible that Mileo intends to set himself up for a funny comeuppance by physically proving why simping and homewrecking (and um, homicide) don’t pay off and that sounds like it could be fun. We’re in Norway though, so I will probably loathe him anyway. But in the spirit of optimism, here’s 6 points in case we have indeed hit that ellusive One Percenter.”
Daniel – 5 – “I wasn’t grabbed by this, perhaps its due to the continual shifts in genres and numerous borrowed riffs, with singer attempting – albeit successfully – to sing in every single note of his vocal range. I could never get the gist of You’re Me, thus leaving me unsure.”
David – 7 – “Alright… this comes out as very sassy and it works very well even. A song that knows what it’s going for, and you don’t even question it, you just go with it, which I can really respect. Even gives it a bit of edge of catchiness and the song comes out very good. It does feel short, and I wish it was longer, plus that it had a more powerful moment, but overall, I really enjoy this.”
James – 7 – “I can’t say I have ever heard a Eurovision prospect contain lyrics wherein the protagonist kills and buries the object of his affection’s girlfriend. I am surprised this hasn’t been done much before considering the creeper antics of a large segment of Eurovision fans. So yes, this is an admittedly tongue-in-cheek pop track about obsession, and by and large it works. There’s horror elements thrown into the instrumentals such as the organ, but it doesn’t descend into a Ru-Paul’s Drag Race Tribute to Elvira that “You’re Mine” threatened from the opening bars. This song is snappy, fun and light, and its prospects will depend more on staging than pretty much any other MGP entry.”
Tyler – 4 – ” I’m not sure if the lyrics are supposed to be serious or not, but that doesn’t really matter to my enjoyment of the song itself. The song itself doesn’t sound modern to me and immediately when I’m confronted by a song that is as possessive as this, I push back. “You’re Mine” isn’t a banger to me and I wouldn’t mind seeing this stay in the semi-final, but Norway continues to make “interesting” choices so who knows!”
Yehonatan – 6 – “Wow, it feels like the same factory produced ‘You’re Mine’ and ‘Heartache’. Another example of an outdated chorus on good verses that have some nice story telling. I almost docked half a point for the jumpscare fo that spoken moment in the middle, but it was too short for me to realy dig into. It doesn’t help the overall cringy feeling of the song, but just like ‘Heartache’ it’s catchy enough to enjoy when it’s on and move on with my life once it’s over.”
Listen to “You’re mine” below:
Agree with our editors? Let us know in the comments how #YOU would rate this entry.
Boris – 8 – “This scripted, mercenary and cynical bid at going TikTok viral by the hand of Subwoolfer has no right being this enjoyable. The intended humour of this aqua-tinged pastiche lands and it’s unintentionally funny too? The mere notion of Gaute ditching Ben Adams and replacing him with Erica Norwich, who is presented as the needy, insecure, clingy bimbo foil to the AI domineering her life, automatically makes it camp and funny. Erica IS every thirst-trapping Xwitter cigarette personified in a painfully accurate (and completely accidental) parody of Gays On The Internet and their growing misuse of AI and social media to ingratiate themselves with the oomphs in their phone. As for the act, just go ham. Stuff Gaute in a toy robot costume and style Erica like a dilapidated Barbie doll and let the song do its thing. Don’t try to outclever yourself. Naturally, trying to be too smart will be SuperRob’s true downfall, should it ever become self-aware about its secret intelligence and start using reviews such as this one to overpimp its validity without giving me the credit. As such, I really hope My AI never grows beyond a fun trainwreck contained within MGP, because if it wins, then TikTok also wins, and everyone else loses. ”
Daniel – 5 – “As if the looming threat of AI taking over people’s livelihoods wasn’t enough, it is now threatening to take over our Eurovision entries, thematically at least…for now. With actual, probably factual, rumours that San Marino’s entry this year will be written by AI. Super Rob and Erica Norwic decide to take this current topic and accompany it with a retro euro-trash sound reminiscent of the early 00s. Like many songs floating about the National Finals this year, the influences of Aqua, Vengaboys and Scooter are ubiquitous. Incredibly gimmicky, unabashedly cheesy and oh so catchy!
David – 3 – “Within seconds, all I could think about, was this song being the 2024 version of the song “Barbie Girl”, by Aqua. Similar kind of Eurotrash-pop, the conversation part, the overhyped style… what has the world become?! This is what I’d call a radio-plague, something that you’d hate to hear over and over, but eventually you’ll head-bop to it anyways.”
James – 8 – “This is both fun and depressing, pioneering yet derivative, drudgery with a side of playfulness. And it loses a point for having a chorus that reminds me of Kurt Darren’s terrible Afrikaans pop-ballad “My I.O. Meisie.” However, “My AI” is a sneaky faux-novelty song in that it asks serious questions about how humans may interact with AI, particularly on whether or not there is genuineness to the AI’s responses or it they’re merely preprogrammed responses to human inputs. All packaged in a strangely retro ‘90s EDM package.”
Tyler – 6 – “This is pure televote bait with how bombastic this is, but I’ve seen this before in 2022 when Norway did it. I guess it’s an interesting twist to have a woman be infatuated with their AI instead of the usual pop culture trope of men doing so. If Super Rob isn’t onstage performing and looking like a pink Iron Giant, then what even is the point of this? Catchy song overall though, congrats on making it to the NMGP final.”
Yehonatan – 1 – “Norway. What. For the love of god, the year is not 2001, and singing about robots and AI is cringier than a Laura song finding it’s way to yet another Eesti Laul (also why did every national final decide that robots are the trend of 2024??). I also am deeply annoyed with the fact that the entire purpose of the song is to go viral on tiktok for being a quirky sound to put on videos, as it’s so painfully unpleasent to listen to with that AI voice, which I’m still wondering, how on earth are they planning to do that on the ESC stage? Hopefully a sign that they aren’t going to go that far. ”
Listen to “My AI” below:
Agree with our editors? Let us know in the comments how #YOU would rate this entry.
And that concludes our reviews for Delfinalen 2 of Melodi Grand Prix 2024. If we had full autonomy over tonight’s choices, Farida and Gåte would qualify for sure, with either Mileo or Eli Kristin as the final qualifer.
Voting Chart
Below you can see for yourself how each of our rankers voted:
For all of his (mine) bickering and complaining, Boris is this week’s most positive juror in terms of scores, with an average of 63%. James, still uncomfortable with his role as ESCUnited’s beacon of positivity, has the second highest with 62%, right behind Daniel’s 61%. Yehonatan enjoyed this heat more than last week’s and clocks in at 56%, same as Tyler. David, as per his usual self, was this week’s harshest juror with an average of 40%
Leader Board
So how does this week hold up to last week? Let’s fold these six goons into last week’s ranking and see how emerges victorious.
Ties will be broken based on the average of the two middle scores. If that also results in a tie, we’ll look at the highest mark given, and then how many of those marks each entry received.
New entries are bolded
- Gåte – “Ulveham” (64%), median of 7
- Margaret Berger – “Oblivion” (64%), median of 6.5
- Farida – “Heartache” (62%)
- Ingrid Jasmin – “Eya” (58%), median of 6, highest of 7, 3 6s
- Mileo – “You’re mine” (58%), median of 6, highest of 7, 2 6s
- Eli Kristin – “Touch of Venus” (58%), median of 5.7
- Myra – “Heart on fire” (54%)
- Mathilde SPZ ft Chris Archer & Slam Dunk – “Woman show” (53%)
- SuperRob & Erica Norwich – “My AI” (52%)
- GOTHMINISTER – “We come alive” (50%)
- Fredrik Halland – “Stranded” (49%)
- Dag Erik Oksvold & Anne Fagermo – “Judge tenderly of me” (43%)
Join us NEXT WEEK for the final review of Norway, and find out who our favourite is. Is anyone going to reach an approval rating of 65%? All shall be revealed.
How would #YOU rate these six acts out of ten? Let is us know in the comments, or join the discussion on our Forum or our Discord!
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EDIT: Apparently the Spotify links included in the post weren’t displaying properly. They were replaced with YouTube embeds — Boris.
