Warning; Contains Opinions. please try to not be offended.
Note: this is part 3 of a four part review series. We recommend that you start by reading part 1, which can be accessed here:
With the 2024 season well underway, time has now come to slice into another group of Eurovision hopefuls. Eesti Laul has a new head of delegation and new format, and we definitely do not want to miss out on providing our usual mix of constructive criticism and cathartic rants. Did the new HoD deliver more on her first run than Tomi Rahula did, or is Estonia back to square one?
Thus, one hundred and twenty write-ups by our six editors, each with differing views, morals and weights. Who is going to emerge as our favourite and which are out five qualifiers for the upcoming semifinal on Saturday? Let’s race!
On Estonia’s review panel we find:
- Representing Angry Logic, it’s Boris Meersman!
- Representing Clueless Heterosexuals, it’s David Popescu!
- Representing Socially Drunk Guncles, it’s James Maude!
- Representing Unrelentless Positivity, it’s Jasmin Prišć!
- Representing the Five Stages of Grief, it’s Tyler Griffith!
- Representing Unassuming Young Fans, it’s Yehonatan Cohen!
Today we will be reviewing these five hopefuls:
Each ranker has provided a score between 0 and 10 to the twenty hopefuls, unaware of what the others have written and scored. All the information we currently know (studio cuts, interviews, live performances outside of EL) can be taken into account for reviews, but be aware that opinions may change or age poorly based on what happens during the Semifinal on 20 January, and Grand Final on 17 February.
But before we begin, the usual disclaimer so we don’t get blacklisted:
Opinons stated below only reflect the views of the editor, and not of ESCUnited as a whole, nor those of our benevolent overlord Matt. You may direct your grievances at the editor responsible for vertical classification. Each reviewer is also aware that their opinions will be made public so if you’re one of these five reviewed artists and you meet the editor that eviscerated you, feel free to trash them back. They knew the risks. ^_^
And let’s delve into our first batch of five, in order of appearance, and we begin a collab between a returning band and an indie scene phenomenon:
Boris – 6 – “Actually not too bad?! The loungy soul pop is hardly pushing boundaries but after years of submitting experimental miscarriages, Sofia has finally given birth to an Eesti Laul song one could enjoy without reservations. Hooray! I hope she gets the lasting love she longs for! Estonia will, of course, reward her for it with second last over Laura, but let’s not dampen what’s fully at stake here: I am now finally ~at peace~ with Sofia Rubina’s growth in Eesti Laul. 💫”
David – 1 – “I’m sorry, but it’s hard to be good towards a messy song as this one. Holy heck, like what is even going on? Just go crazy on the instruments and overload my mind with all kinds of sounds. Oh yeah, the lyrics are even a mess and are just as all over the place. There’s just far too much going on, then there need to be.”
James – 6 – “Moral of Sofia’s story: she needs time to get to know you because she wants a one night fling to turn into a much longer affair. A good message, especially when it’s aimed at a fanbase full of irrational and immature man-whores. Malmo’s motto is “Diversity. Meetings. Possibilities.” Not “What happens in Malmo stays in Malmo.” Behave. Though I doubt this fairly paint-by-numbers soul exercise will get out of Tallinn, no matter how hard ESC United co-founder and editor Sean Tarbuck tries wooing Sofia with a bunch of roses and a four-pack of Babycham.”
Jasmin – 6 – “The combination of higher energy and subtle jazzy experimental music in places makes this song unique. It also reminds me of some 80s or 90s music. It will stand out in the mass and have its fans for sure.”
Tyler – 7 – “Sofia has a faint hint of funk and soul going on in her track, and I’m good with that! “Be Good” is fun and while I wish the vocals went harder and had just a bit more oomph to them, I’m still impressed by it. If Sofia doesn’t flop the vocals in the live performance, I can see this making at least top ten in the semi-final. I just like that this is a fun entry even if it doesn’t get that much more interesting than that.
Yehonatan – 5.5 – “I was not expecting to hear early 2000s Americana songs, but you know what it’s not as bad as I expected. Sofia is obviously the strongest part of the song, and is carrying it together with the backing vocalists. Other than that it isn’t very special, but still pretty fun.”
Statistics
Total Score: 31.5/60
Highest Rating: 7 (Tyler)
Lowest Rating: 1 (David)
Lowest non-David Rating: 5.5 (Yehonatan)
Amount of 1s handed out by David: 3
Final Mark: C (53%)
Listen to “Be good” below:
Agree with our editors? Let us know in the comments how #YOU would rate this entry.
Boris – 8 – “HENENE HENENE HENENE. Antsud/Etnopatsy will delight us with pseudo-traditional granola hippie tunes punctuated with rock riffs and crusty dreads as sure as night follows day, and just as sure will I reward them with high scores because the Estonians won’t. I don’t know, what exactly is wrong with music like this? Pleasant neopagan anthems with good use of vocals and variable chord progression, Estonia could do so much worse for themselves. If only the Estonians loved themselves and their roots as much as they love to and wish to be Swedish, huh?”
David – 1 – “I have no idea how to describe this, like some sort of fairytale-rock? I’m just confused and wonder, what have I just heard. Song eventually becomes obnoxious with the repeated phrase… I don’t even know how to describe it, but I’m certain anyone who have heard this know what I’m thinking about. It’s an interesting effort, for the first few seconds, but it just gets annoying.”
James – 7 – “Mood is “Hippies Pissing About in the Woods.” Or, Adult Contemporary of the Folk-Rock ilk from 1990s Newfoundland. An entry like this is easy to make fun of, but there’s a lot to recommend. It upends convention without sounding discordant, such as introducing an early guitar solo at the minute mark. It has a new age vibe without being too cringe (I hope Estonia’s version of the EPA evaluated the stream they drank from, which could be downstream from a Russian lead works for all we know). And despite the new age tones, there’s an energy that makes it feel breezy and not staid. The vocalists chant with gusto, even if the constant “Henenene” may get on some people’s nerves.”
Jasmin – 7.5 – “I appreciate ethnic / rock experimental sound this song brings. The underlying melody created by the backing vocalists helps this song achieve further depth. However, the song gets repetitive after some time which bring is down for me a bit.”
Tyler – 7.5 – ” I’m a simple man. I see Estonian folk music with a twist, I hit the “like” button and move on. I’m not sure if “Vetevaim” is a viable option for Estonia, but I still enjoy the song anyway, so who cares! I loved the electric guitar solo in the middle that breaks up the folksy singing that can get a tad repetitive. Would definitely be one of my votes to escape the semi-final, and I hope it does!”
Yehonatan – 8 – “Antsud takes us through a mystical journey of Estonian folk. The vocals on the track are brilliant and the sensation from the music video ethsetics is of witchcraft and magic. It would be fantastic if Estonia will finally send the Estonian langauge again with this entry.”
Statistics
Total Score: 39/60
Highest Rating: 8 (Boris, Yehonatan)
Lowest Rating: 1 (David)
Lowest non-David Rating: 7 (James)
Amount of 1s handed out by David: 4
Final Mark: B (65%)
Agree with our editors? Let us know in the comments how #YOU would rate this entry.
Boris – 7 – “No roses without thorns, no contests without its filler. And this trippy futuristic Troye Sivan-lite moodsetter is about as top shelf as filler gets. A welcome palate cleanser before Queen Cecilia’s (um spoiler) grand entrance. “Lately” is less of a song and more of A Vibe, but I’m down for it since it’s not overstaying its welcome at a mercifully brief 2 minutes and 20 seconds.”
David – 1 – “Get rid of the vocoder… considering how much it’s used in the song, it just ends up provoking me. Song is dull and very energy lacking, so easy skip! There’s just so many things that shouldn’t have been done, which are done in this song.”
James – 5 – “The chorus is cool. When the first verse slowly got going, I thought that we were going to get a mopey “missing you” ballad, which this largely is, but it is punctuated in an interesting manner at the chorus. Lyrics wise, it’s about a guy trying one more time with a former romantic partner who dumped him a while ago. There’s clingier versions of this out there in national selection land, but it’s still a sad sack song I could do without.”
Jasmin – 4 – “Another song in modern electro pop production. I dislike the vocaloid effects as I find the vocal to be good as it is. This song reminds me of Danish song from 2023 in places because of the production. I feel this will appeal to younger viewers but it’s not for me.”
Tyler – 7.5 – “Too short for my liking! “Lately” is such a me vibe, I like how musically interesting the song is and I can overlook how the vocals won’t be up to par during the live performance. But I don’t care! Well, I’ve adjusted down accordingly, but this will probably be one of my random faves out of the Estonian selection that will not escape the semi-final and that’s okay, this song is for me only.”
Yehonatan – 2 – “I’m a bit tired of those lifeless songs washing over the national finals this year. It doesn’t have a strong melodic line, nor hooking instrumentals, the vocals are average, and it is just unmemorable. I wish I had more to say but the song lacks a lot of character for me to talk about.”
Statistics
Total Score: 22.5/50
Highest Rating: 7.5 (Tyler)
Lowest Rating: 1 (David)
Lowest non-David Rating: 2 (Yehonatan)
Amount of 1s handed out by David: 5
Final Mark: F (44%)
Agree with our editors? Let us know in the comments how #YOU would rate this entry.
Boris – 9.5 – “It was true love on first listen with this rags-to-riches Planet of the Bass campfest. Gods, is FOMO ever the fanwank but it is so good at being a fanwank: A spoilt heiress comes in and sweeps everyone with a catchy hyperpop beat that thunders over the proceedings, insane and quotable lyrics that appeal to my inner egomaniac, all embellishments on top a competently produced techno song that evokes the concept of Los Geh’n. Cecilia is the mother of all gay rights club bangers. Weeks later parts of her song still dwell rentfree into my ravaged mess of a brain . (SPOILT TO THE CORE / WHEN IT RAINS I ONLY SEE DIOR // GOD MADE ME AN AQUARIUS / TO MAKE MY LIFE LUXURIOUS ) (I so hope she isn’t actually an aquarius btw <3) . Can you imagine if this ends up as a live slay? Can you image the uproar a FOMO would cause at any pre-party, let alone in Malmö? Of course, all of the above (and the fact that it’s my favourite) means FOMO is going to be absolutely disastrous live with Cecilia pupating herself into a Pia Maria, as is the creed with Eesti Laul uptempo and anything resembling a fave of mine. Frankly, I cannot wait. WE WILL RAVE.”
David – 1 – “Christ in hell, crank the beat to 1200! Sure, let’s just make a dance beat and call it a day. The overall composition is a train wreck, this is just loud music. Lyrics are completely lost and pointless, ain’t no one even paying attention to them, let alone with the track being so loud. No FOMO here, cause nothing was really missed.”
James – 8 – “A club track for narcissistic idiots! I am down for it. The beats sound a little off to me – I am sure at the bpm they’re going there’s better, more modern sounding choices out there to make it sound a bit more polished? A minor quibble, though, in what is an overall fun entry. My concern is that Europe at large may like this one more than Estonia itself – it’s obviously Estonia’s call to make, but I think Europe would be missing out on a fun, lower top-half finisher if Cecilia didn’t win.”
Jasmin – 8 – “This song immediately catches ones attention with slightly uncanny feeling created by the music in the first verse. The beat and the rhythm achieved later on prolongs into the chorus. Electro sounds in the background are unnecessary in my opinion as they distract a bit from the vocal and the beat. Vocals are slightly affected by the production as well. Overall, interesting package that promises a potentially great live performance.”
Tyler – 6.5 – “I’m both a fan of “FOMO” but also disappointed by it. The backing track is much too loud for my liking, and I get lost trying to listen to the lyrics that Cecilia is singing. The ending feels too abrupt for me too, as I felt this song could go on for at least another 30 seconds or a minute. I need to see the live performance to become a true fan of this entry, as I think this has potential but choices have been made to the studio that causes me to not have high hopes for this to escape the semi-final.”
Yehonatan – 9 – “This song sneaks up on you without any warning. After a relatively gentle first verse, the sickest beat in the entire national final season smacks you right in the face and it’s hard to recover from that. The production of the track is insane, and we need more of those hardcore EDM sounds in Eurovision. My only worry is will Cecilia be able to live up to the expectations with a song that is so synth-y in both the vocals and staging.”
Statistics
Total Score: 34/50
Highest Rating: 9.5 (Boris)
Lowest Rating: 1 (David)
Lowest non-David Rating: 6.5 (Tyler)
Amount of 1s handed out by David: 6
Final Mark: B+ (68%)
Listen to “FOMO” below:
Agree with our editors? Let us know in the comments how #YOU would rate this entry.
Boris – 5.5 – “Ewert is such a well-known name in the indie scene, and I could not contain my excitement we’d get TWO songs by him… only for this and Oblivion to be the songs. Hm, Okay! “Hold me now” is a delicate but fairly insipid composition that could become engaging on the stage (coming right after hurricane Cecilia who will, for better or worse, leave nothing but destruction in her wake). The studio cut isn’t doing it for me though. As an entry it feels more like “I am doing EL to promote my new album and increase the selection’s prestige” than a “I am doing EL because I want to do Eurovision” sort of entry. If it were the other around Hold Me Now would already be in the finals. Speaking of, the promotional stuff doesn’t bother me, so long as you don’t take up a spot in the finale when only five acts qualify in a roster of fifteen.”
David – 1 – “Bruh… it’s the same guitar riff and drum beat for 3 minutes… maybe, I dunno, try something?”
James – 7 – “A gentle Gaelic indie-rock style song with a sweet message (cherish the moments you have with the ones you love). Its problem may be that it is just a little too gentle to be noticeable. The chorus almost sounds like mumbling it passes through that swiftly and smoothly.”
Jasmin – 7.5 – “This song gives me throwback vibes but in a positive way. I’d like if the climax happened a bit earlier in the song and even there isn’t many lyrics in this song, it still gives you enough so everyone can relate to the lyrics in some way. It’s simple, warm, and cute but probably wouldn’t make a massive impact at Eurovision.”
Tyler – 5.5 – “I’m very curious to see what the staging for this will be like, as the lyrics and vocals feel a little too quiet to make an impact and the reason this score is above average is because of how effective the music video was. But you can’t send a music video to Eurovision, so how will this work? “Hold Me Now” seems like a good post-quarantine song that would bring people together, and that’s a nice thing to have. Needs to have a killer performance to get some fans though.”
Yehonatan – 7.5 – “With so many pop entries in this selection, it’s very refreshing ot have a good indie rock entry. This will not be most people’s cup of tea, but something in the roughness of the song works wonders for me. The raw emotion is actually felt in this song unlike most of the sobby ballads, and it feels true and geniune. It’s a niche song, but it’s my niche.”
Statistics
Total Score: 34/60
Highest Rating: 7.5 (Jasmin, Yehonatan)
Lowest Rating: 1 (David)
Lowest non-David Rating: 5.5 (Boris, David)
Amount of 1s handed out by David: 7
Final Mark: C+ (57%)
Listen to “Hold Me Now” below:
Agree with our editors? Let us know in the comments how #YOU would rate this entry.
And that concludes our reviews for today. The final part, containing the five qualifiers is being prepared as we speak!
THE RANKING:
A major shuffle near the top of our leaderboard, as Cecilia skips to first 70% and narrowly takes first place over Ollie and 5Miinuust & Puuluup. Antsud also pierce their way into the top five, right behind Anet Vaikmaa, pushing Traffic out of our qualifiers.
On the other end of the spectrum, Silver Jusilo fails to get a passing grade, landing him in the bottom three with Laura and Ingmar. Ewert Sundja’s songs were equally well-received by our panel, clocking in at 58% and 57%. Finally, Sofia Rubina wins the tiebreaker over Yonna, having scored a stronger high score.
- Cecilia – “FOMO” (70%)
- Ollie – “My friend” (69%, two 9s)
- 5Miinust & Puuluup – “(nendest) narkootikumidest ei tea me (küll) midagi” (69%, one 9)
- Anet Vaikmaa – “Serotoniin” (68%)
- Antsud – “Vetevaim” (65%)
- Traffic – “Wunderbar” (60%)
- Peter Põder – “Korra veel” (59%)
- Cartoon ft Ewert Sundja – “Oblivion” (58%)
- Ewert and the Two Dragons – “Hold me now” (57%)
- INGA – “No dog on a leash” (53%)
- Sofia Rubina – “Be good” (51%) (one 7)
- Yonna – “I don’t know about you” (51%) (zero 7s)
- Silver Jusilo – “Lately” (44%)
- Laura – “Here’s where I draw the line” (43%)
- INGMAR – “Dreaming” (35%)
VOTING CHART
Below you can find a visualization of how our editors voted for the five songs in this update:
The full chart will be posted in our fourth and final update.
IN OR OUT?
All fifteen semifinalists have been rated and ranked, time to post our IN or OUT chart? Which are the FIVE acts that we want to see emerge on top of the scoreboard this Saturday:
As you can see, our panel chose for a varied selection with Cecilia’s techno, Ollie’s soft metal, 5Miinust & Puuluup’s folk punk, Antsud’s New Age folk pop and Anet Vaikmaa’s bubblegum pop. But would these five have been the acts we would put amongst the ~autofinalists~? That’s right, in our next post, we will add an additional tier, and you will able to see which five acts we would have picked as automatic finalists and which five other acts we would have advanced from the semi. What does our ideal finale look like, and how much does it differ from the actual finale? Join us tomorrow for part FOUR and find out!
Other parts of the EL24 review train can be accessed here. Note that the link to part 4 will be defunct until the post goes live on Saturday.
