Warning; Contains Opinions. please try to not be offended.
Note: this is part 2 of a four part review series. Part 1 can be accessed here:
With the 2024 season well underway, time has now come to slice into another group of Eurovision hopefuls. Eesti Laul has a new head of delegation and new format, and we definitely do not want to miss out on providing our usual mix of constructive criticism and cathartic rants. Did the new HoD deliver more on her first run than Tomi Rahula did, or is Estonia back to square one?
Thus, one hundred and twenty write-ups by our six editors, each with differing views, morals and weights. Who is going to emerge as our favourite and which are out five qualifiers for the upcoming semifinal on Saturday? Let’s race!
On Estonia’s review panel we find:
- Representing Angry Logic, it’s Boris Meersman!
- Representing Clueless Heterosexuals, it’s David Popescu!
- Representing Socially Drunk Guncles, it’s James Maude!
- Representing Unrelentless Positivity, it’s Jasmin Prišć!
- Representing the Five Stages of Grief, it’s Tyler Griffith!
- Representing Unassuming Young Fans, it’s Yehonatan Cohen!
Today we will be reviewing these five hopefuls:
Each ranker has provided a score between 0 and 10 to the twenty hopefuls, without knowledge of what the others have written and scored. All information we currently know (studio cuts, interviews, live performances outside of EL) can be taken into account for reviews, but be aware that opinions may change or age poorly based on what happens during the Semifinal and Grand Final.
But before we begin, the usual disclaimer so we don’t get blacklisted:
Opinons stated below only reflect the views of the editor, and not of ESCUnited as a whole, nor those of our benevolent overlord Matt. You may direct your grievances at the editor responsible for vertical classification. Each reviewer is also aware that their opinions will be made public so if you’re one of these five reviewed artists and you meet the editor that eviscerated you, feel free to trash them back. They knew the risks. ^_^
And let’s delve into our first batch of five, in order of appearance, and we begin a collab between a returning band and an indie scene phenomenon:
Boris – 5.5 – “HMHMMMHMHMHMHMHMMHMHMHMHM — half of Oblivion’s vocals. It’s borderline obnoxious, and yet I kinda dig the idea of pairing a dystopian world narrative (I assume set in the cursed universe where “Moving to MMM” won EL2013 and then Eurovision, triggering a world-wide cultural apocalypse) paired with a dead genre such as drum & bass and well, that chorus. Other than that, Oblivion’s a fairly standard sub-Aviicii-sounding drum and bass track, so you better have a killer act ready to sell it, honeys.”
David – 6 – “Knowing the stuff Cartoon can create, my hopes were high and they don’t disappoint. Lyrically, it’s really on point, powerful stuff for me. Beat is great, but it just doesn’t reach that vibing level, it’s cool and nice, but that’s about it. Musically, I’m missing those touches that would make me wanna re-visit the song more and more.”
James – 7 – “This sounds like the theme song to a modern-set Western TV show that is on a secondary network like MGM+ or Cinemax. I am not too familiar with drum & bass or its variants, but “Oblivion” does have universal appeal and will appeal to those who feel some of the other electronica or dance subgenres on offer at this year’s national selections have all the subtlety and chill of an entire marching band on cocaine. Lyrics wise, sounds like a bog standard break up song of the “wish we could go back” variety. The chill feel almost counters the sentiment – Ewert’s protagonist has not reached Oblivion yet and is still troubled.”
Jasmin – 6 – Humming beginning introduces the melody to the listener and is an interesting way to start the song. The vocal feels competent, slightly dark. Uniqueness of this song is that there is no proper chorus but the humming followed by the instrumental. I can see a great light show during the instrumental drop live on stage. While it is unique, I wouldn’t pick it as a standout favorite.
Tyler – 5 – “A song that claims they can’t tell the listener what’s going on and then proceeds to do so anyway, “Oblivion” has potential but doesn’t make the right choices. The opening humming is way too long and then it continues throughout the song to annoy me. I like the idea of exploring the inner machinations of a mind that is unwell, but I don’t think the song does enough of a good job in explaining it. “Oblivion” is an interesting entry, but that’s pretty much it for me.”
Yehonatan – 5 – “‘Oblivion’ is giving off quite a dark vibe but without really going deeper into it. It has a nice build that, great drums and laid back vocals, but then it drops into a not very impressive instrumental which loses me a little. The verses are the saving grace of this song overall, I just wish the chorus would stick to the same quality.”
Statistics
Total Score: 34.5/60
Highest Rating: 7 (James)
Lowest Rating: 5 (Tyler, Yehonatan)
Amount of 1s handed out by David: 2
Final Mark: C+ (58%)
Listen to “Oblivion” below:
Agree with our editors? Let us know in the comments how #YOU would rate this entry.
Boris – 8- “What’s this? Surely this is some old EDM track Stig Rästa had laying in a drawer somewhere, found no soloist willing to perform it and, not wanting to pollute LUSC further, gave it to his old buddies Traffic? That has to be the narrative because lolthisiseurotrash. Thankfully though, this combination just works for what it is. Wunderbar is fairly basic, but SilverLaas has more than enough charms to pull off its quirky tempi, elevating it as a fun camp party song without many pretences. It’s also deceptively catchy which is something most of the other uptempo in this EL struggles with. Wunderbar is here for our enjoyment and I do. Good enough for me.”
David – 3 – “- Well… absolutely not what I expected from Traffic if I may be honest, a full-blown party track. It’s cool and all, but I just get the feeling it doesn’t work. I’m just not left with the feeling that I was listening to a dance track, but rather someone who gave a dance track a shot, without considering if it would work out. In the end, I’m just not feeling it.”
James – 6 – “I get an early oughts uplifting pop vibe, even right down to the impossibly corny chorus. This may also be too slight and gentle to make it to Eurovision – its light and sunny disposition without being too memorable could work against it. Still, I’d rather have something lightweight yet pleasant than a lightweight break-up song or something lightweight with negative undertones.”
Jasmin – 7.5 – “I feel the energy of this song, especially during the drop. The non-English lyrics make it even better. I dislike the overly produced vocals at the end of the song, I find it unnecessary and sligthly distracting from the song. Overall, a nice package”
Tyler – 5 – “When I think of Traffic’s previous Eesti Laul songs, I don’t picture them sending something like this. I’m not a fan of Traffic to begin with, but with the high-pitched talking star thing in the music video, it feels like Traffic has sold out just to represent Estonia at Eurovision. It’s not a modern entry and maybe the public will give them a chance with this song, but I’m still not a fan of it. Still better than their previous entries though!”
Yehonatan – 6.5 – “An interesting change from the style we’re used to hear Traffic with in Eesti Laul. Despite what you might think, turns out that uplifting country band can produce a good soft EDM track. They should probably stick to country if it was up to me, but this is a pretty solid effort nonetheless.”
Statistics
Total Score: 28/50
Highest Rating: 8 (Boris)
Lowest Rating: 3 (David)
Lowest Non-David Rating: 5 (Tyler)
Amount of 1s handed out by David: 1
Final Mark: C (57%)
Listen to “Wunderbar” below:
Agree with our editors? Let us know in the comments how #YOU would rate this entry.
Boris – 0 – “This is one of the worst songs ever penned, surely? Dreaming’s instrumentation, chord progression and vocalizations are so full of stop motion rhythm that it is borderline painful to listen to. Without taking into account it is an even more unctuous Our Choice and this time there are zero dead spouses / unhinged widows involved. Its narrative evokes “Annoying upper middle-class Theatre Kid whines about how his privileges aren’t big enough” WHY DO WE STOP DREAMINNNNG? Idk, your parents told you a white lie about becoming the next Timothée Chalamet when you were five and you chose to believe it when you were twenty. Now get back to work, those supermarket shelves won’t stack themselves.”
David – 3 – “A very dramatic song, especially for my likings. I can respect and hear the effort, there’s a nice build up, the message and the overall production, it’s honestly very nice and well done. I’m just not effected by it, and my focus eventually gets lost. It’s really not my style of music, so I’m simply not part of the target audience.”
James – 6 – “I get that the gospel choir is supposed to give the song an uplifting feel, but gospel choir in European songs is getting to be a tired trope at this point. Otherwise, this would be a top shelf “don’t stop following your dreams” anthem. That theme may itself be a tired trope at this point, but it’s a timeless one and you can’t begrudge an artist dipping into that well. Ingmar sells both the pain of a dream slipping away and the triumph of succeeding in achieving it. A few tweaks, such as removing the choral elements and some stop-start elements in production, would greatly improve this and Ingmar’s overall excellent vocal performance better.”
Jasmin – 6 – “Compared to other piano ballads, this one relies more on Ingmar’s competent vocal. The production sounds slightly outdated, especially during the chorus. Choir in the background adds gospel vibe to this entry.”
Tyler – 2.5 – “An assault to my earbuds. An affront to my sensibilities to have some 20-year-old ask why people have given up on their dreams when he’s barely taken his first steps. Should I keep dreaming that “Dreaming” flops in the semi-final so I don’t have to think about this song? This is a Broadway “I Want” song that has Ingmar go immediately into a 100% and keeps building to the point that I’m afraid that he’ll lose his voice on stage and collapse under the weight of expectations he’s built. I really don’t like this entry, but maybe it works for someone else? Ack!”
Yehonatan – 3.5 – “Disney ballads is not what I expected to hear in Eesti Laul. And this one in particular isn’t memorable enough like I’d want a Disney ballad to be. Overall it’s just a little too cringy to pass for me.”
Statistics
Total Score: 21/60
Highest Rating: 6 (James, Jasmin)
Lowest Rating: 0 (Boris)
Final Mark: F (35%)
Listen to “Dreaming” below:
Agree with our editors? Let us know in the comments how #YOU would rate this entry.
Boris – 9.5 – “Me südameis on serotoniin. 💞A perky synthrock pick-me-up by the hand of Lõhmus? On to the love pile it goes immediately, no questions asked. Some things are just always great no matter how you twist it, and things that make one happy are near the top of that list. We really do undervalue them too often. One could argue Serotoniin is a bit too basic, but I think it’s simplicity enhances the song. Serotoniin is accessible, catchy (despite being in Estonian) and an endorphilic, uplifting experience emulating punch-drunk love, is there a better kind 🤍🖤💙. Anet is ready to eat, and her song’s a buffet. Also, she’s is on directly after human dementor Ingm*r, further annointing Serotoniin as a soothing balm on a troubled mind that, no less than three minutes before, had to sit through the most traumatic experience it ever had to endure.”
David – 3 – “Girl power rock, something I haven’t heard in a good while. It’s neat and catchy, but not for long. The song is overcharged with power and energy, but Anet doesn’t bring the same energy and power in her vocal performance, so the songs falls flat and interest disappears eventually. I don’t mind the song, but I don’t care for it either.”
James – 6 – “A fairly bland, bubble gum pop punk anthem. It’s lacking a great hook to make it memorable, even though by and large it is free of objectionable lyrics or production or composition. Though speaking of objectionable, the EBU will not take too kindly to her black jacket with the familiar profane statement starting with the F-bomb and Off, and I do have to wonder what the point of that stunt is at this stage.”
Jasmin – 8 – “This is a pleasant pop song with a rather catchy chorus. The hook in the chorus helps you remember the melody. While I find it enjoyable, it’s a rather safe option for Eurovision. I appreciate that the song is not in English, that gives it more character. It will certainly make people move which is a good thing.”
Tyler – 5.5 – “Serotoniin is a cute song! But cute gets eaten up by gorgeous, and this song doesn’t have that bite that makes me want to vote for it. If the format for Eesti Laul was like previous years, then I could see this squeezing through, but with how bloated the semi-final is this year, this song will get lost in the voting quite easily. I wanna see more from Anet Vaikmaa though next year with a banger of an entry!”
Yehonatan – 8.5 – “Such a nostalgic sound we get from Anet. ‘Serotoniin’ is your typical early 2010s pop-rock schlager, and I’m all here for it. Very uplifting, with great synthy touches that just make you feel good while listening. Does it stand a chance to win the selection? Probably not, but I’m still happy to have it in the lineup and hopefully in the final too.”
Statistics
Total Score: 41.5/60
Highest Rating: 9.5 (Boris)
Lowest Rating: 3 (David)
Lowest Non-David Rating: 6 (James)
Amount of 1s handed out by David: 1
Final Mark: B+ (68%)
Listen to “Serotoniin” here:
Agree with our editors? Let us know in the comments how #YOU would rate this entry.
Boris – 2 – “Okay, here’s where I draw the line: Laura, dear, this solo career isn’t gonna work, and the reason why it won’t is because you keep satisfying yourself with these insipid trifles about your failed love life and well… that’s not my business, but there’s no foqibneyuz for being SO good under the mentorhood of Sven Lõhmus and being so underwhelming now. There nothing less interesting than the sex life of a stranger. If you’re aiming to be a TSwift or make people care, treat songwriting more like venting and maybe less like therapy? More Blank Spaces and Antiheroes, fewer Willows, ya know? Perhaps there’s another, better career path for you, somewhere, while you work on figuring things out and learn to love yourself again? I think you’d make an excellent train announcer…”
David – 2 – “I’m not exactly drawing the line here, but I’m kinda close to it. I’m just left bored and really don’t care for the song. Slow pace, becomes dragging and interest is just not there. Good vocal, credit for that.”
James – 8 – “I can’t not give Laura a high grade with this retro ‘90s ballad, even if there are some unnecessary and ropey vocal effects at time. She has become a bit of a regular feature for Estonia and Finland these days (two times Eurovision, several Eesti Lauls and a UMK), and though recent results have not been great, I feel she still has a lot to give and has not worn out her welcome. This ballad does stand out due to its style and due to Laura being a charismatic presence, and though I doubt she’ll return to Eurovision this year, I applaud her for bringing some maturity and class to Eesti Laul.”
Jasmin – 5.5 – “I like the beginning of the song, and unfortuantely, the song doesn’t progress in direction I wanted it. The climax before the last chorus feels slightly out of place. The subtle sounds in the background make this song unique and I appreciate the thought behind that. Having said all that, it’s not my cup of tea but I see why some people would find it cute and heartwarming.”
Tyler – 5.5 -” This song is both what I expected from Laura (silly lyrics that I can’t quite understand despite being in English) and also fun twists (the beat changes from the chorus and the bridge were quite nice)! I don’t think Laura will get above the line to qualify, but I’m sure she’ll nail the staging and be up there in the voting unless Estonia has turned on her for trying to represent Finland that one year (and flopping). This was okay!”
Yehonatan – 3 – “Good god Laura, what happened? Maybe it’s the constant participation in every national final season, every year, but it’s hard for me to see this as a serious song despite it clearly being one. Even the key change in the end screams old Eurovision, and makes it sound like an AI provided a checklist for a Eurovision ballad and the songwriters tried to mark them all off. It’s done in poor taste and I wish Laura would come back with a song that respects her more.”
Statistics
Total Score: 26/60
Highest Rating: 8 (James)
Lowest Rating: 2 (Boris, David)
Lowest Non-David Rating: 2 (Boris)
Amount of 1s given by David: 3
Final Mark: F(43%)
Listen to “Here’s where I draw the line” below:
Agree with our editors? Let us know in the comments how #YOU would rate this entry.
And that concludes part two of our reviews. Part three will be up tomorrow 🙂
THE RANKING:
Ollie and 5Miinust/Puuluup remain firmly at the top of our ranking so far, but Anet Vaikmaa and Traffic have overtaken Peter Põder, pushing him top fifth place. Laura and Ingmar are the first acts to score an average below 50%, a failing grade according to our reviewers’ general tastes.
- Ollie – “My friend” (69%, two 9s)
- 5Miinust & Puuluup – “(nendest) narkootikumidest ei tea me (küll) midagi” (69%, one 9)
- Anet Vaikmaa – “Serotoniin” (68%)
- Traffic – “Wunderbar” (60%)
- Peter Põder – “Korra veel” (59%)
- Cartoon ft Ewert Sundja – “Oblivion” (58%)
- INGA – “No dog on a leash” (53%)
- Yonna – “I don’t know about you” (51%)
- Laura – “Here’s where I draw the line” (43%)
- INGMAR – “Dreaming” (35%)
VOTING CHART
Below you can find how our editors voted for today’s group of five:
(David’s score of 3 for Serotoniin is erroneously displayed as a 1 here. it will be adjusted in a future post)
More entries will be added in future posts.
IN OR OUT?
With 15 Semifinalists and only five qualifiers, we’re also keeping tabs on who we think should qualify or and who should not. Right now we’ve reviewed ten semifinalists, which means we have FIVE that are in and FIVE that are out.
Check out our chart for who our qualifiers are so far:
This is our power ranking so far, but what changes lie on the horizon for the third update? Will any of Sofia Rubina, Antsud, Cecilia, Ewert & the Two Dragons or Silver Jusilo breach the top five? And how do the semifinalists rank compared to five autofinalists? All shall be revealed tomorrow and on Saturday, in parts three and four!
Want to read the rest of these reviews: click the links below (3 & 4 may be defunct as they’ll be posted at a later date)
Part 1
Part 3
Part 4
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