Naughty Eurovision – A Top 10 of “dirty” Eurovision lines

 

The Eurovision Song Contest is known among fans and casual viewers for its lyrics, for better or worse.

 While maybe not the most sophisticated, the ESC has provided us with unique lyrics that are memorable and a big reason why this contest is so popular among the die hard fans. Over the next few weeks I’m going to take a closer look at some of the lyrics and will post a Top 10 by category. This is highly subjective so feel free to add your favorite lines in the comment section.

 Have you paid a lot of attention to the lyrics over the past few years? Is it just me or are the songs getting more and more sexual? Some of them are probably done intentionally while some of them are double entendres (same word/phrase having different meanings) but I think while some lyrics meant to be harmless and sweet, they turned out to be quite sexual so here is my Top 10 of the naughtiest Eurovision lines over the past 10 years.

10. 2010  France – Jessy Matador – Allez Olla ole! 

Darling, get up and move your bottom
Dance closely, tightly for a salty kiss
Take me from the side, do your shake
Ooh la la, it’s getting hot, I feel the stuff coming up

 French is the language of love and sensuality……Unless you actually bother translating it into English. Granted, Jessy and his dancers were waving their behinds into the camera but all we heard was “Olla Ole” and we kept singing along. Little did we know though, I put the things I find quite interesting in bold so I don’t know if this was unintentional, a double entendre or just straight forward naughty, I’ll let you be the judge.

 

 9. 2004 Greece – Sakis Rouvas – Shake it

Everytime you wanna play
Turn me on, all the way
Come to me and take the ride
Skin on skin, it’s pure delight
Givin’ me the passion, you’re burning my heart
Gonna rock, till you drop
Baby, you’re the reason I’m feeling so hot
Want you now, I just can’t stop

 This one is quite obvious and a no brainer so it had to be on my list just for the over the top lyrics. Sakis became the unofficial Mr. Eurovision with many fans just drooling by the thought of him shaking those hips. Now combine the lyrics, those shaky hips with the tank top that’s slightly too short (apparently that’s a good style in Greece), TOUCHDOWN!

 

8. 2007 Russia – Serebro – Song # 1

Gotta tease you, nasty guy
So take it, don’t be shy
Put your cherry on my cake
And taste my cherry pie

 
For some reason after reading the lyrics, I’m no longer hungry. Don’t get me wrong, I love me a good cherry pie but I’m the only one who is allowed to put the cherry on top of it. Let me quote that song a bit more; “Can’t you see the way I move. My dress, my flashy skin” Or “Baby Boy you know I still got the sexy freak in me” or “I’ll get you to my bas ass spinning for you”….you get my point. 

7. San marino 2008 – Complice – Miodio

Between sex and music I thought of you

 Is that supposed to be a compliment?  You would think that while having sex with someone, that person would automatically think about you at some point during that process. Unless you’re having sex with somebody else, then that would be flattering and creepy at the same time. Either way, the consideration is appreciated.

 

6. Ukraine 2009 – Svetlana Loboda – Be my Valentine (Anti crisis girl)

You are so sexy – bom
Gon’ make me crazy – bom
We’re gonna do the bom bom
Ain’t that amazing – bom

 I have two theories: 1. The “Bom Bom” is some kind of dance, something like the Macarena or Zaleilah, or 2. Svetlana is getting lucky tonight. I’m siding with Option #2. The three shirtless dancing gladiators and will probably agree with me.   

 

 

5. Croatia 2006 – Severina – Moja Stikla

S…s…s… Sex (Hop, hop, shake, shake)

 The word “Sex” in itself isn’t that big of a deal but the fact that she is stuttering while saying it makes me wonder. Plus the fact Severina just shouts it out in the middle of the song for no apparent reason, secures a spot on my list. This is what she sings “Oyda dai, Oyda dai dai, Six, seven, six, eight, six, nine, SSSSEEEEEXXXX.

 

 

 4. Turkey 2007 – Kenan Dogulu – Shake it up Shekerim

She smiled at me, said: “Would you like it sweet and low?”
“I know a place where we can take it nice and slow”
I know what you’re thinkin’: don’t stop, I need that sweet thing
Telling you now, this is real

 There is really no room for interpretation on this one. If you can tell me what Kenan is referring to “that sweet thing” other than what I’m thinking then I may change my mind. What else can be served sweet and low at the same time? And correct me if I’m wrong but I still think he’s twirling around some woman’s underwear during that song, I rest my case.

 

 

3. San Marino 2012 – Valentina Monetta – The social network song

Do you wanna be more than just a friend?
Do you wanna play cybersex again?

 You gotta love Valentina cause she’s not beating around the bush, she flat out asks us to virtually stimulate her. Just for her brutal honesty I have to put it high on my list. And it seems she likes kinky stuff considering she brought along a pilot, a doctor, a cheerleader, a photographer and a musician. So if you’re into roleplay, click Valentina with your mouse.

 

 

2. Macedonia 2006 – Elena Risteska – Ninanajna 

I’ll open up your fantasies,
I’ll make your dreams come true,
But if you wanna ninanaj with me
I’ll tell you what to do

 The next time I’ll walk up to someone at a bar I’ll try and suggest Ninanaj rather than sex, maybe my success rate will go up. And kudos to Elena for being in charge telling her partner what to do in bed. The reason why this one is so high up my list is cause I’ve been singing along to this song for many years and it never really registered with me until recently. So she fooled me, good for her.

 

1.

UK 2007 – Scooch – Flying the Flag

‘Would you like something to suck on for landing, Sir?

 To me the naughtiest line in recent Eurovision history (possibly ever). I actually let out a gasp when I listened to the song for the first time. Rewatch the clip and look at his face, he says that line with so much pleasure; it’s just so…….dirty.  Europe may have not appreciated the tongue-in-cheek humor but I got a good laugh out of it and therefore is my personal No 1 on my naughty list.

 

 

What do you think? What did I miss or is there something you don’t agree with? Share your naughtiest ESC lines, some of them leave room for interpretation so I am interested to hear what you have to say.