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Thread: How do you feel?

  1. Tease-a-Louise
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    #6391

    Re: How do you feel?

    It was interesting to read your post @DenizESC, and it goes someway here in helping to understand a particular mindset. Sometimes life sucks and you feel you need to get away from people or things, even if they've been good to you. In the past I've had those thoughts as well, and I've even thought about leaving here for instance (very recently in fact). I haven't acted on any of my feelings but I think I can understand at least partly why someone would reach the point where they feel the only option is to block someone or something out.

    Deniz, your story is unique and I think you're a very complex person (you could probably write a book on your experiences). I think it was you who said to me before that it was strange how well we got on because in many ways we're very different besides our awfully wonderful (probably unbearable to some) sense of humour. You're a very deep thinker though and I think that's where you and I meet. I've gone deep with people here privately but maybe with you the deepest cause I feel so comfortable with you, and I somehow feel you're equipped to understand me.

    Some of the stuff you wrote about your actions in that big post there is not stuff I generally agree with, or how I'd ever hope to do things myself, yet I don't judge you in the slightest bit for it, because I know the Deniz who's been so kind and a friend to me here. We all have our shit moments. Our moments where we need to retreat. Moments where we're just weird and push good things away. With me I've always had problems with keeping friendships going. People have to continuously poke and nudge me, and they don't like that. But I'm introverted and living with depression. The latter these days I'm open about but I think people often forget the former about me, perhaps because I'm goofball-ish and generally pleasant and talkative once I've been engaged. One very close friend of mine brought up this issue with me a couple of years ago, that it was always him that was starting conversations. That's one area I guess where I've been very shortsighted but I've never done it on purpose.

    And also Deniz, in fairness to you and everything you've written here, wouldn't you have been incredibly young during some of these events? The circumstances you've been put in are also very unique, to put it mildly. We make mistakes and sometimes we make them multiple times. God, if I went back to when I was 15 or 16, i'd be cringing my ass off. I thought, said and did some profusely regrettable things. I grew though from those moments. It's one life we've got so it's vital to find peace within ourselves and move on. Not to be our own worst enemies. You need to continue moving on from your past troubles Deniz cause I know you're a special person. Don't allow anything to hold you back. And glad to hear at least one of your stories had a happy ending.

    This is not to diminish how Flo feels though. I think he needs to get the message through to this girl exactly how she's made him feel, otherwise she might not ever learn. When I got ghosted by my close friend a few years ago I did nothing. I sometimes think what might have happened if I messaged him. I at least should have told him how he made me feel. Had I not had three other solid friends in that time who were all in exactly the same situation as me, I would have felt devastated, but losing one friend like that brought us closer together.

    P.S. Flo's terribly sadistic photoshopped nude revenge idea is still giving me life, two days on. Like please for real don't ever do that unless it's WorldVision related nude revenges <3

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  2. Mentor
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    #6392

    Re: How do you feel?

    KEEP YOUR NUDES LOCKED AND AWAY FROM SHOEFLO CHILDREN!
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    ----Don't muhatap---

  3. Mentor
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    #6393

    Re: How do you feel?

    Dear Kai:

    *insert another random super long, super deep post*

    I'll fill it up soon, for now I need to go like die or something for a minute after that long post
    ----Don't muhatap---

  4. Legend
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    #6394

    Re: How do you feel?

    I've been reading through the most recent posts by @whiteshoes and everyone, and I can definitely relate to what you have gone through. Everyone has covered all the bases, and I must reiterate that you deserve so much better. It is her loss, not yours. Consider it a liberation from a person that doesn't deserve a lick of your time.


    I want to give a bit of perspective from the opposite camp. I'll be completely frank, I have dumped friends before when I was a bit younger. In retrospect, it says a lot more about me than about the friends that I dumped. All of it boiled down to my big ego, and I didn't realize until years later when I was having a heart-to-heart conversation with my husband comparing our experiences with friends. Then, it all clicked, I realized that it was me and not them that had issues. Since then, I've been working hard on being more compassionate, less hard-headed and less ego-centric.
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  5. Veteran
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    #6395

    Re: How do you feel?

    @DenizESC thanks for that post, I appreciate your honesty.
    Of course I thought about the possibility of her going through a crisis and so on. It just doesnt seem like this. She has been active on WhatsApp as usual, sent a New years Eve greeting in a group chat, posted a status picture and uploaded a new profile picture (double selfie with her boyfriend). Of course thats not proof enough to say she is fine but even if shes having a bad time I wonder: Why she cant even write me a short message to inform me about what is going on? Something like "Hi Flo, dont be mad on me but right now Ive got many problems I gotta sort out and I need some distance and time for myself. I will contact you if I feel better..." Thats literally 30 seconds of her free time she would have to spend to write a message like this. I wouldnt have complained. I would have been fine with that and respected the step she is planning to take. Nothing is bad about taking a break for a while or if necessary for a longer time.
    But that non-communication sucks. To leave somebody in the dark and in a state of uncertainty....That is so hard to understand cause we could always talk about everything. Actually, our deepest conversations in my opinion have been the best we had.

    Well, in the end you summed it up well.. the human mind is an heck of a puzzle. Maybe one day she let me see her puzzle put together.
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  6. In Training LovelyMJ's Avatar
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    #6396

    Re: How do you feel?

    Newbie here! Feeling pleased because of joining such a bright community
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  7. Wizard
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    #6397

    Re: How do you feel?

    Quote Originally Posted by LovelyMJ View Post
    Newbie here! Feeling pleased because of joining such a bright community
    Welcome!!
    Completely reborn.

  8. WorldVision Mod
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    #6398

    Re: How do you feel?

    I feel physically sick, and I cannot settle because i've become a literal wreck and it's not about something bad, it's something good actually. A few weeks ago I said to my mum that I was going to look for a new job in the new year and probably something office based (and actually i've now decided to apply for in an in job promotion, stay in that a few months and then get a new job then as the promotion will look good on my CV). Our conversation about it ended there and we haven't really spoken about it since, anyway this evening my mum got of the phone with my auntie and for a while she kept looking my way and eventually asks If I wanted to know something, but if she said I was not to tell a single person. Ofc I wanted to know because i was intrigued but also a little bit worried, as it was about me. She then tells me that my uncle (who is managing director or something of Honda in my town) is about to offer me a job as a Trainee service receptionist, it isn't 100% certain yet but expect a call. Now on the face of it, it sounds like a great opportunity, get into more office style work, will be better pay and full time, it's in the car industry where I will have so much room to progress and apparently a rather simple job. But the second she told me I felt like i was about to vomit and i was overwhelmed with panic. You need to understand I am not a person who deals with pressure well, I tend to panic and lose focus quickly and this news and that job is a hell of a lot pressure that has just been thrown my way. Even in my current job when I have a customer come at me with a problem, no matter how simple I panic and call for help. My uncle has gone to the trouble of organising all this to help me, and i'm not sure i want it for the pressure. I feel trapped in that I can't say no because of the fact hes done it for me, and i don't want to seem ungrateful but then at the same time I don't want to accept and then be a total disappointment, fail at it and show him up and make him look bad and then also my mum. My brother has done exactly that to him in the past, and I cannot be that person. Not only that, I don't think i want to work with family, I want it to be a separate world for me, that none of my family are part of and also because anything work related my auntie would know, and then my mum. The pressure just from the news alone has me so worked up that i've literally been pacing back and forth for a while, my hands are shaking and i've got the worst headache in months come on. I cannot settle. I literally hate this right now. I want to just curl up in a ball, throw any form of contact away and pretend the world doesn't exist.
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  9. Tease-a-Louise
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    #6399

    Re: How do you feel?

    @AshleyWright I get how you feel there. On paper it's seemingly a good thing that would be beneficial to your goals of progressing, but at the same time it gives you anxieties I guess over multiple things now. It might be hard even to think things through properly when there's the thought in your head right now of "how do I go about turning this offer down if I don't want it, and how will people react?". The fear of disappointing or letting down your family members feels like it's the main thing that's probably eating at you? It sounds to me like you might have a general problem with anxiety, which is such a common thing that most of the population experiences one time or another during life.

    I think first and foremost in this situation you've got to focus on yourself and what you want. This is your choice to make, and whatever it is you can explain to your family why you've made it. We carve our own paths. They have to accept it. If on paper this offer sounds very good then at least think about it. But ultimately this is your choice to make and yours alone. I understand not wanting to work with family. It makes sense because it applies this unavoidable pressure onto things. Look how you're feeling now even. If it was a like a lil' job working in a barn or doing something small behind the scenes that your confident in doing then it would probably be less of a problem, but working for Honda sounds more of a biggie. You totally could do this though. I think you and I both have something in common and that is that we both underestimate ourselves and what we're capable of. Every time you've written about what you're like at work it's been good stuff, and people like you a lot. I don't know what this new job would involve but you mentioned that it's not particularly hard. If you gave that doubt and fear in the back of your head a good old punch in the face you'd have this in the bag and would be awesome at it, no doubt. But ultimately this should be about what you want. Your heart will tell you what is the right decision for you. I hope you're feeling better now than the other day when you wrote your post.
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  10. WorldVision Mod
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    #6400

    Re: How do you feel?

    Oh jesus, job offers from family, that's a helluva curveball. That panicky feeling is so relatable. I could write more but I have no idea what else because Rainy said it all (dang it you really have a way with words, you should write a book tbh).
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