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Thread: How do you feel?

  1. WorldVision Mod
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    #6401

    Re: How do you feel?

    Quote Originally Posted by RainyWoods View Post
    @AshleyWright I get how you feel there. On paper it's seemingly a good thing that would be beneficial to your goals of progressing, but at the same time it gives you anxieties I guess over multiple things now. It might be hard even to think things through properly when there's the thought in your head right now of "how do I go about turning this offer down if I don't want it, and how will people react?". The fear of disappointing or letting down your family members feels like it's the main thing that's probably eating at you? It sounds to me like you might have a general problem with anxiety, which is such a common thing that most of the population experiences one time or another during life.

    I think first and foremost in this situation you've got to focus on yourself and what you want. This is your choice to make, and whatever it is you can explain to your family why you've made it. We carve our own paths. They have to accept it. If on paper this offer sounds very good then at least think about it. But ultimately this is your choice to make and yours alone. I understand not wanting to work with family. It makes sense because it applies this unavoidable pressure onto things. Look how you're feeling now even. If it was a like a lil' job working in a barn or doing something small behind the scenes that your confident in doing then it would probably be less of a problem, but working for Honda sounds more of a biggie. You totally could do this though. I think you and I both have something in common and that is that we both underestimate ourselves and what we're capable of. Every time you've written about what you're like at work it's been good stuff, and people like you a lot. I don't know what this new job would involve but you mentioned that it's not particularly hard. If you gave that doubt and fear in the back of your head a good old punch in the face you'd have this in the bag and would be awesome at it, no doubt. But ultimately this should be about what you want. Your heart will tell you what is the right decision for you. I hope you're feeling better now than the other day when you wrote your post.
    Well there is the added pressure that my mum wants be to get into proper full time work, and I feel If I say no would annoy her also. Even yesterday at tea my mum asked if my uncle had called me and I said no (I had had a call from an 07 number that morning but I ignored it, idk if it was my uncle though as I don't have his number saved), anyway I said how I felt about the pressure of it and making me feel anxious and I really don't think she took it serious she basically said "I wish I never told you now" and brushed my worries aside. I think I have calmed down a lot since the other day, I'm certainly not pacing back and forth and i'm not shaking from it. I'm just a bit on edge for when I actually do get the call, if I get it as it's not 100% certain. My mum said part of the reason my uncle is doing it is because hes seen me at work when hes come in and seen how nice and polite I am etc. I can't help but think of anything and everything that could go wrong, and with how I deal with difficult situations now. I literally hate situations like this, and I don't particularly like interference in my life, no matter how well intended it is meant. you're right it is my decision, but I'm sure my mum expects me to accept it, which that alone makes me feel trapped. I think i would probably accept it but then if I don't like it or I suck at it then I'm stuck. I'm really done with my current job now and hate going in, I literally got told off today for turning up late when I was actually on time and was then told off because I was starting late (obviously my fault and not the duty manager for stopping me in my tracks to be a bitch for not turning up early). Also my actual manager is a total melt on a power trip putting in the most nit-pick ridiculous rules, crushing morale and annoying everyone.
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  2. Wizard
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    #6402

    Re: How do you feel?

    Today was the 3rd anniversary of my father's passing. It was an emotional day. But I guess I just have to pull myself through it. After three years I would've thought that I had gotten over it, but apparently not!

    Now I'm listening to the UK songs and I'm totally obsessed with Kerrie-Anne's 'Sweet Lies'. It makes it all go away
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    Completely reborn.

  3. Legend
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    #6403

    Re: How do you feel?

    The first week of second semester of Au.D. doctoral program is done! I feel great, and I feel that the semester is off to a good start.

    Our cohort of 10 students is definitely a joy. I couldn't believe how we gel together. Despite our different backgrounds, we find a lot of commonalities: our sense of humor is so similar, and our interests are so similar. We're so close to the point that there's no such thing as awkward conversations (i.e. in-depth and detailed conversation about our BM, preferred contraceptives, etc.). It also helps that we pretty much spend every essentially waking moment with each other either in the clinic trying to figure out what to do with our patients, in class, in pubs/restaurant, or hanging out elsewhere. It's been a joy being with them, and being so close to them I can only see our relationship with one another getting deeper.

    The program is really enjoyable, but definitely not easy because there's a good amount of stress in the clinic and in the class. There's always that pressure not to mess up patient care, and give a good impression in front of our clinical supervisors/professor. It's not always perfect, but when I mess up, I just smile, correct myself, and go on: no time to feel embarrassed otherwise the diagnostic/treatment session will be very awkward and you lose your patients' professional trust. I just always tell myself that how I do things will only get better with time and practice (I hope at least ). I also do assistantship once a week where I see walk-in patients by myself which [ironically] is less stressful because you control the entire session, and your clinical supervisor is not there unless you call them. As for the classes, they are really fascinating, but very long and dense. I took a 5 year break before going into this program, so I'm so happy to be in an academic environment again

    I just wanted to share how excited I am!
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    #6404

    Re: How do you feel?

    Deleted
    ----Don't muhatap---

  5. Australopithecus
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    #6405

    Re: How do you feel?

    Very honest thoughts:
    I'm glad I realised it was time to get rid of the people that made me feel mad, ugly, and without any value as person because nothing I did was enough to be appreciated. However, now how do I deal with these feelings? Because I got rid of the person, but the harm is already done. I never had a big self-esteem, but now is literally ZERO, and it affects every single aspect of my life, including at work. I doubt of everything, I don't trust my own decisions, I think I can't do anything, and of course I hate seeing myself.

    "Thank you" to that person that never realised (or perhaps yes! I always suspected it was done on purpose after all) they were so destructive to me. I won't forget nor forgive this, and I hope life teaches them how to treat people properly, not like they were objects.
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    * * * * *
    "¿Qué es lo que tú quieres de mí? ¿Por qué no confías en mí? No tengo nada que explicarte; no tengo nada que ocultarte."
    Los Rakas - Déjame bailar

  6. Wizard
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    #6406

    Re: How do you feel?

    I am one step closer to getting my dream job!

    Today I have received an invitation to take part in the selection for the position of administrative assistant for the city of Antwerp!

    The exams are on 8th February and afterwards there will be an interview (the week of the 11th) and they'll make their decision on the 18th

    I NEED THIS.
     
    Completely reborn.

  7. Australopithecus
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    #6407

    Re: How do you feel?

    Yesterday I broke down at work and spent all my lunch time just crying. I didn't want to because I had to open the library right after that and feared people would ask for my red eyes, but I couldn't hold it back any longer. It was actually good because I could vent a little bit, and I'm very lucky that I love my job, so I felt much better at the end of the day. I know I will be the same I used to be sooner or later, but I wonder how much time it will take, 'cause I'm tired of this.
    * * * * *
    "¿Qué es lo que tú quieres de mí? ¿Por qué no confías en mí? No tengo nada que explicarte; no tengo nada que ocultarte."
    Los Rakas - Déjame bailar

  8. Enthusiast
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    #6408

    Re: How do you feel?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ausesken View Post
    Yesterday I broke down at work and spent all my lunch time just crying. I didn't want to because I had to open the library right after that and feared people would ask for my red eyes, but I couldn't hold it back any longer. It was actually good because I could vent a little bit, and I'm very lucky that I love my job, so I felt much better at the end of the day. I know I will be the same I used to be sooner or later, but I wonder how much time it will take, 'cause I'm tired of this.
    for you then!

  9. Australopithecus
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    #6409

    Re: How do you feel?

    Quote Originally Posted by DutchSuomiFan View Post
    for you then!
    Thank you!
    * * * * *
    "¿Qué es lo que tú quieres de mí? ¿Por qué no confías en mí? No tengo nada que explicarte; no tengo nada que ocultarte."
    Los Rakas - Déjame bailar

  10. Legend
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    #6410

    Re: How do you feel?

    I'm trying to keep my new year's resolution, and I think I'm managing well. One of the things I'm trying to improve on is dedicating more time to my friends, and be less of a recluse.

    In the past 3 weeks, I have gone out, had friends over, and being less hermetic in general. I think that it is doing me well in terms of my mood. I'm actually an extrovert, I draw energy from being in social interactions so it's not an issue for me to go out. The issue, however, is time. the past few months have just made me reprioritize what I need to spend time on. Now, I'm reprioritizing again to obtain a more balanced life. All work and no play sounds too horrible. So, I'm tweaking my schedule and my habits here and there to get what I need and what I love done.
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